Checkmate by Malorie Blackman

was I? I already knew the bitter answer.
    I stood up. Time to get my daughter. Time to lose myself in her smile and forget the past. Just for a while.

eleven. Rose is 8½

    Hello, Daddy,
    How are you today? How is heaven? Sunny, I bet. It's sunny down here on Earth as well. A toasted teacake kind of day. Mummy is in the kitchen washing up and her face is shining. The sunlight glowing on and around her face makes her look like she has golden edges. She looks like an angel. Yeah! Exactly like the angel we put on top of the Crossmas tree each year. I love Mummy. And she loves me – and you, Daddy.
    Isn't that wonderful?
    Can you smell the soup Mummy made for our lunch? I love that smell. It smells like warm and full and safe. I bet you're jealous you didn't get any. Ha! You should've made your ghost appear when we were eating round the table. I would've given you a spoonful of soup with all the best bits in it – if you hadn't scared me too much first.
    Talk to you later, Daddy.
    Byeee.

twelve. Sephy

    The dazzling sunlight was getting on my last nerve. I tugged down the blind in front of the open windows, but at first it wouldn't budge. I pulled harder until it gave. Luckily for me it didn't come off the wall, bringing down half a ton of plaster with it. I'd certainly pulled it hard enough. I stuck my hands back into the washing-up liquid, scrubbing away at the big saucepan I'd used to make our home-made vegetable and pasta soup for lunch. Scrubbing pots was like pounding pillows or beating cake mix. Goodness only knew I got enough practice. Meggie had succeeded in winding me up. Again. 'Mummy, can I help you do the washing-up?' I turned and smiled at Rose. 'It's all right, sweet pea, I've only got this pan left to do.'
    Rose frowned at the dishwasher. 'Why don't you just stick it in there like everything else?'
    'This pan's got a copper bottom and a wooden handle and wood and copper don't react very well with the chemicals you use in the dishwasher to get the dishes clean.'
    Rose's mouth turned down like an umbrella. I'd done it again. Maybe I was more like Mother than I liked to think. Rose is lucky if she can string three sentences together around my mother without having her grammar corrected somewhere along the line. 'What's cooper?' she asked.
    'Copper. It's this shiny, gold-coloured metal at the bottom of the pan.'
    I lifted it up to show her. Soap suds slid down its surface like giant snowflakes. Rose's eyes lit up at the sight of them. She walked over to the sink and blew a hole through the biggest mound of bubbles. The bubbles scattered in all directions.
    'Rose!'
    My daughter just laughed, turning her sparkling eyes up towards me. I smiled back at her, loving the sound and sight of her laughter, clinging just as hard as I could to the way it made me feel inside. Rose unexpectedly hugged me round my waist. I carried on smiling but shrugged her off, my hands still in the sink.
    'Mummy, what did my dad die of?' Rose asked, leaning against the work surface next to me.
    I turned away from her before she could see the look on my face. It wasn't as if it was the first time Rose had asked me that. But each time sharp fragments of dread shot through me. I started scrubbing away at the pan again, trying to frame my answer. Each time Rose asked me, I tried to say a little more, to skate a little closer to the truth. So what to say . . .
    'Mum, what did Daddy die of?' Rose asked again. 'Was he sick?'
    'Rose, I haven't really got time to answer all these questions now,' I snapped.
    'Why not? You're only washing up.'
    I opened my mouth to argue, but then closed it again without saying a word. Deep breath. Calm down.
    'I'm sorry, Rose. I promised myself that I wouldn't do that.'
    'Do what?'
    I tried to smile. 'It doesn't matter. So what was it you wanted to know?'
    'What did my dad die of?'
    'Your dad was killed,' I said slowly.
    Rose's eyes instantly started to leak. What the hell was I doing? She'd asked that question before