that right. They fight.
The scene below actually happened.
Two friends come to my till to pay for a CD.
Â
C HECKOUT GIRL
£19.99 please.
Â
They both get their bank cards out at the same time.
Â
F RIEND 1
Let me pay.
Â
F RIEND 2
No, I should pay.
Â
F RIEND 1
You paid for the meal yesterday.
Â
F RIEND 2
Yes, but last week you did.
Â
F RIEND 1
Yes, but you bought me the concert tickets.
Â
F RIEND 2
That was a birthday present, it doesnât count.
Â
F RIEND 1
You gave me a DVD too.
Â
F RIEND 2
Yes, but Iâd promised to do that for ages.
Â
F RIEND 1
I know but Iâd promised to get it for you.
Â
F RIEND 2
It doesnât matter, last year you invited me over to yours more often.
Â
The checkout girl is starting to feel dizzy. But itâs not over yet. Friend 1 takes advantage of Friend 2âs last reply to put her card into the machine. Friend 2 grabs her hand, the card falls out and Friend 2 puts in her own. Friend 1 jiggles it and manages to remove it but doesnât have time to put her own back in. Friend 2 takes both her hands and stands in front of her. Friend 1 struggles violently and tries to reach the machine which ⦠slides off its base, hits the till and falls on the floor. But itâs still not over. Friend 2 uses the confusion to put a £20 note in the checkout girlâs hand. Friend 1 is ready to tear her arm off to get it back.
Â
C HECKOUT GIRL ( unsteadily )
If you want to settle this, please do it outside. I donât want there to be blood.
Â
They burst out laughing. And Friend 1 lets Friend 2 pay.
I think this little story reveals a quirk in our society. Paying is apparently the only real proof of friendship between two best friends. And itâs often the same in love ⦠I pay therefore I am.
Donât hesitate to remind your customers of this. Theyâll pay up more easily, youâll see.
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
A child’s view of the world is full of insight, candour, poetry and tenderness … Your heart will leap when you hear this kind of thing:
Little Richard (aged seven) asks you, after watching your till closely, ‘Where’s your bed?’
Little Nicholas (aged nine): ‘Can you give me money too?’
Because he has seen you give his mother her change.
Little Julia (aged six): ‘Are you in prison?’
Because your till looks more like a rabbit hutch than a supermarket till.
Little Rose (aged five): ‘Mummy doesn’t have any money to pay for her shopping. She can only give you a cheque.’
Because the previous customer paid in cash and the little girl’s mother had explained that she didn’t have any change.
All that is quite sweet and will make you smile. But when parents use you to scare their children, keep smiling (you have to) but you can put them right.
When you hear a mother tell her child, pointing her finger at you, ‘You see, darling, if you don’t work hard at school you’ll become a checkout girl like the lady,’ there’s nothing to stop you explaining that it’s not a profession for stupid people, that you’d rather do this than be unemployed and that you actually have a good degree. (Five years in higher education? Really?)
If you don’t, you may find that afterwards children don’t respect you or see you as a failure …
And I have news for all those self-righteous people: it’s been a long time since a degree guaranteed a dream job. Today’s graduates sometimes have no choice but to do less skilled work.
Dear parents, thank you for using us as the bogeyman to raise your children! But you need to update your ideas a bit.
CHECKOUT GIRLS: THE FAIRER SEX
People are always saying that:
Little girls are just as intelligent as little boys (and even better at school and university).
The records of female sporting champions are just as impressive as those of the men. And the queens of wrestling almost as well known as the
The scene below actually happened.
Two friends come to my till to pay for a CD.
Â
C HECKOUT GIRL
£19.99 please.
Â
They both get their bank cards out at the same time.
Â
F RIEND 1
Let me pay.
Â
F RIEND 2
No, I should pay.
Â
F RIEND 1
You paid for the meal yesterday.
Â
F RIEND 2
Yes, but last week you did.
Â
F RIEND 1
Yes, but you bought me the concert tickets.
Â
F RIEND 2
That was a birthday present, it doesnât count.
Â
F RIEND 1
You gave me a DVD too.
Â
F RIEND 2
Yes, but Iâd promised to do that for ages.
Â
F RIEND 1
I know but Iâd promised to get it for you.
Â
F RIEND 2
It doesnât matter, last year you invited me over to yours more often.
Â
The checkout girl is starting to feel dizzy. But itâs not over yet. Friend 1 takes advantage of Friend 2âs last reply to put her card into the machine. Friend 2 grabs her hand, the card falls out and Friend 2 puts in her own. Friend 1 jiggles it and manages to remove it but doesnât have time to put her own back in. Friend 2 takes both her hands and stands in front of her. Friend 1 struggles violently and tries to reach the machine which ⦠slides off its base, hits the till and falls on the floor. But itâs still not over. Friend 2 uses the confusion to put a £20 note in the checkout girlâs hand. Friend 1 is ready to tear her arm off to get it back.
Â
C HECKOUT GIRL ( unsteadily )
If you want to settle this, please do it outside. I donât want there to be blood.
Â
They burst out laughing. And Friend 1 lets Friend 2 pay.
I think this little story reveals a quirk in our society. Paying is apparently the only real proof of friendship between two best friends. And itâs often the same in love ⦠I pay therefore I am.
Donât hesitate to remind your customers of this. Theyâll pay up more easily, youâll see.
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
A child’s view of the world is full of insight, candour, poetry and tenderness … Your heart will leap when you hear this kind of thing:
Little Richard (aged seven) asks you, after watching your till closely, ‘Where’s your bed?’
Little Nicholas (aged nine): ‘Can you give me money too?’
Because he has seen you give his mother her change.
Little Julia (aged six): ‘Are you in prison?’
Because your till looks more like a rabbit hutch than a supermarket till.
Little Rose (aged five): ‘Mummy doesn’t have any money to pay for her shopping. She can only give you a cheque.’
Because the previous customer paid in cash and the little girl’s mother had explained that she didn’t have any change.
All that is quite sweet and will make you smile. But when parents use you to scare their children, keep smiling (you have to) but you can put them right.
When you hear a mother tell her child, pointing her finger at you, ‘You see, darling, if you don’t work hard at school you’ll become a checkout girl like the lady,’ there’s nothing to stop you explaining that it’s not a profession for stupid people, that you’d rather do this than be unemployed and that you actually have a good degree. (Five years in higher education? Really?)
If you don’t, you may find that afterwards children don’t respect you or see you as a failure …
And I have news for all those self-righteous people: it’s been a long time since a degree guaranteed a dream job. Today’s graduates sometimes have no choice but to do less skilled work.
Dear parents, thank you for using us as the bogeyman to raise your children! But you need to update your ideas a bit.
CHECKOUT GIRLS: THE FAIRER SEX
People are always saying that:
Little girls are just as intelligent as little boys (and even better at school and university).
The records of female sporting champions are just as impressive as those of the men. And the queens of wrestling almost as well known as the
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