in Blake’s, then turns towards the movie screen. For the next hour and a half, I can barely concentrate on the movie. My emotions are on meltdown. Between my guilt for not liking Blake and the mysterious moments with Connor, I don’t know how to feel. I finally need a break from all of it, including the blood and gore on the screen, and excuse myself to go to the restroom. After giving myself a pep talk in the mirror, I exit the bathroom to find Connor leaning against the wall beside the door.
“You okay?” he asks with a glance at my outfit.
“Yeah, fine. I am just a little unsure about Blake. I feel like I am hanging out with a friend, not a date.”
“Really? From the looks of it I thought you guys were hitting it off,” he questions.
“Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving, can’t they?" I say sadly, as I go back into the theater. As Connor and I sit down, Samantha shoots daggers at me with her eyes. I turn towards Blake and smile. I sit with my hands under my legs so Blake won’t have the opportunity to grab my hand again.
On the way home, Blake continues to make me laugh with funny stories. When we get to my house, he is a perfect gentleman. He walked me to the door, gave me a kiss on the check, and said he would call me tomorrow.
Once in my bedroom, I shut my door and just leaned back against it with my eyes shut. What am I going to do? I can’t continue to date Blake if I have feelings for Connor. That is just wrong, and I couldn’t do that to him. He deserves better than that. I am determined to like Blake. He is great and he likes me. I will give it a week and if it doesn’t work, next Saturday I will tell him the truth, or a version of it.
I spent Sunday thinking over my life while I completed my chores, and now I am more confused than ever. I talked to Leah about Blake and she agrees that I should give it a week. I didn’t mention to her the weirdness between Connor and me, she would only question him about it. I am not ready for that yet. Blake called and we talked about school and Mathletes, but the conversation felt awkward and forced. Why do boys make everything so much more confusing?
Chapter 8
School sometimes passes in a flash, and then other days it drags by like it will never end. I have spent the last couple of days avoiding Connor and Blake, in hopes that the situation will become clear to me. I am still thinking about the other night with Connor, but Blake is just so nice that guilt is about to eat me alive.
As I walk into history class, I notice that Leah’s desk is empty. Where is she? The bell rings and still no Leah. After history, I slip into the bathroom and call Leah’s cell. She is home in the bed with the flu. Well, that is just great. Now on top of everything, I get to go through school alone. I have other friends, but Leah is the one that understands me. I hate it when she is absent. I guess since we have all the same teachers, I can at least gather her work and take it to her after school.
Before heading to the cafeteria for lunch, I stop by my locker to throw my stuff inside. As I am opening my lock, someone bumps into me from behind.
“Excuse me. I’m standing here.” I spit out.
“Sorry Klutzy, didn’t see you there. Someone having a bad day?"
“Hey Connor. Sorry, didn’t mean to bite your head off. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“What’s going on? You okay?”
“Just confused about some things. Makes my brain hurt to think about them.”
“Well, I wanted to talk to you about something. The other night after the football game . . . I didn’t mean to . . . I mean I am with Samantha but . . . I know you and Blake went out . . . but I wondered if . . ." Oh great, he is trying to explain that the almost-kiss-moment was an accident. This day is just getting better and better.
“Oh, that,” I laugh interrupting him, “I haven’t even thought about it. No big deal. Nothing to worry about." Every word I say is forced. I feel like my
“You okay?” he asks with a glance at my outfit.
“Yeah, fine. I am just a little unsure about Blake. I feel like I am hanging out with a friend, not a date.”
“Really? From the looks of it I thought you guys were hitting it off,” he questions.
“Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving, can’t they?" I say sadly, as I go back into the theater. As Connor and I sit down, Samantha shoots daggers at me with her eyes. I turn towards Blake and smile. I sit with my hands under my legs so Blake won’t have the opportunity to grab my hand again.
On the way home, Blake continues to make me laugh with funny stories. When we get to my house, he is a perfect gentleman. He walked me to the door, gave me a kiss on the check, and said he would call me tomorrow.
Once in my bedroom, I shut my door and just leaned back against it with my eyes shut. What am I going to do? I can’t continue to date Blake if I have feelings for Connor. That is just wrong, and I couldn’t do that to him. He deserves better than that. I am determined to like Blake. He is great and he likes me. I will give it a week and if it doesn’t work, next Saturday I will tell him the truth, or a version of it.
I spent Sunday thinking over my life while I completed my chores, and now I am more confused than ever. I talked to Leah about Blake and she agrees that I should give it a week. I didn’t mention to her the weirdness between Connor and me, she would only question him about it. I am not ready for that yet. Blake called and we talked about school and Mathletes, but the conversation felt awkward and forced. Why do boys make everything so much more confusing?
Chapter 8
School sometimes passes in a flash, and then other days it drags by like it will never end. I have spent the last couple of days avoiding Connor and Blake, in hopes that the situation will become clear to me. I am still thinking about the other night with Connor, but Blake is just so nice that guilt is about to eat me alive.
As I walk into history class, I notice that Leah’s desk is empty. Where is she? The bell rings and still no Leah. After history, I slip into the bathroom and call Leah’s cell. She is home in the bed with the flu. Well, that is just great. Now on top of everything, I get to go through school alone. I have other friends, but Leah is the one that understands me. I hate it when she is absent. I guess since we have all the same teachers, I can at least gather her work and take it to her after school.
Before heading to the cafeteria for lunch, I stop by my locker to throw my stuff inside. As I am opening my lock, someone bumps into me from behind.
“Excuse me. I’m standing here.” I spit out.
“Sorry Klutzy, didn’t see you there. Someone having a bad day?"
“Hey Connor. Sorry, didn’t mean to bite your head off. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“What’s going on? You okay?”
“Just confused about some things. Makes my brain hurt to think about them.”
“Well, I wanted to talk to you about something. The other night after the football game . . . I didn’t mean to . . . I mean I am with Samantha but . . . I know you and Blake went out . . . but I wondered if . . ." Oh great, he is trying to explain that the almost-kiss-moment was an accident. This day is just getting better and better.
“Oh, that,” I laugh interrupting him, “I haven’t even thought about it. No big deal. Nothing to worry about." Every word I say is forced. I feel like my
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