Nor will you ever be, taunted a voice inside her.
He lifted his head and moved slightly away, his dark eyes acknowledging her right to halt the proceedings. "I," he told her, his lips full with passion, his voice heavy with emotion, "am ready whenever you are."
She lifted her chin, willing herself to be strong in the face of his all-too-persuasive desire. "I have to go in now," she said, the formal tone of her voice injecting a barrier between them. "It's really very late."
He stared at her for a moment, moonlight glinting in the depths of his eyes—heavy-lidded now, their lids weighed by the force of his passion. "On the contrary," he said slowly, meaningfully. "For us, it's very early."
His words left no doubt in her mind that he intended to see her again, which she knew would interfere with achieving her goals here. She fumbled behind her until her hand found the doorknob, and still holding his eyes so full of longing, she slipped inside the house and closed the door. She leaned her forehead against it as Xan walked away. The rhythm of her pulse surged in her ears.
Xan, driving down the deserted street, wondered how long it would take before Maura was ready for what he was sure she wanted. He had known many women in his lifetime, but he had never been so fascinated by any one woman in his entire life. He was totally captivated by her naturalness, a quality that intrigued him because it didn't seem to fit in with the indefinable mystery about her. One thing for sure, she was one woman he meant to have.
Maura finally tiptoed down the long glass-windowed hallway to the guest room, where she stood staring at herself in the mirror, barely breathing and wondering how she could look like the same person when she didn't feel the same. All in all, she supposed it wasn't unusual that she felt so different. Xan's kisses had exposed a lustful facet of her personality that she had never known existed.
Which wasn't really surprising when she considered that she hadn't been kissed since she was eighteen years old.
Chapter 4
There should be some sort of reentry cram course to the world for ex-nuns, thought Maura. A school where you could go to learn about all the things you didn't learn in the convent. With courses in such disciplines as "Coping with Day-to-Day Problems." In "Figuring Out How to Spend the Rest of Your Life."
Also "Online Banking." And of course "Men." Or maybe that one should be titled "Love." No, "Men" would be better. After all, men didn't necessarily mean love. What men all too often meant was sex, and you could have that without love. She'd just, in her breathless clinch with Xan, figured that out for herself. Chalk up a point for Sister Maura. Or, she reminded herself ruefully, ex-Sister Maura.
The fact that Kathleen and Scott were not home was a huge relief. As good Catholics, her sister and brother-in-law were still in shock over Maura's sudden departure from the nursing order of nuns to which she'd belonged for ten years. Although she'd tried to answer all their questions honestly, Maura was embarrassed to find that they regarded her warily, as they would someone who had somehow unexpectedly figured out a way to come back from the dead. Her re-involvement with the world was something they had no idea how to help her accomplish. Mostly they stood back in awestruck surprise and let Maura proceed at her own pace. Her choices were not always what theirs would have been.
Kathleen and Scott had thought of her as Sister Maura, their pious relative in California, for so long that it was hard for them to picture her in any other kind of life. That was why Maura never felt that she actually managed to communicate in any real, deep-down way with them, and so she was singularly glad that she didn't have to explain her late-night arrival tonight astride the back of a blue Harley with Xan Copeland. It was another thing they probably wouldn't understand.
She stripped off her clothes while the bath ran. On impulse
He lifted his head and moved slightly away, his dark eyes acknowledging her right to halt the proceedings. "I," he told her, his lips full with passion, his voice heavy with emotion, "am ready whenever you are."
She lifted her chin, willing herself to be strong in the face of his all-too-persuasive desire. "I have to go in now," she said, the formal tone of her voice injecting a barrier between them. "It's really very late."
He stared at her for a moment, moonlight glinting in the depths of his eyes—heavy-lidded now, their lids weighed by the force of his passion. "On the contrary," he said slowly, meaningfully. "For us, it's very early."
His words left no doubt in her mind that he intended to see her again, which she knew would interfere with achieving her goals here. She fumbled behind her until her hand found the doorknob, and still holding his eyes so full of longing, she slipped inside the house and closed the door. She leaned her forehead against it as Xan walked away. The rhythm of her pulse surged in her ears.
Xan, driving down the deserted street, wondered how long it would take before Maura was ready for what he was sure she wanted. He had known many women in his lifetime, but he had never been so fascinated by any one woman in his entire life. He was totally captivated by her naturalness, a quality that intrigued him because it didn't seem to fit in with the indefinable mystery about her. One thing for sure, she was one woman he meant to have.
Maura finally tiptoed down the long glass-windowed hallway to the guest room, where she stood staring at herself in the mirror, barely breathing and wondering how she could look like the same person when she didn't feel the same. All in all, she supposed it wasn't unusual that she felt so different. Xan's kisses had exposed a lustful facet of her personality that she had never known existed.
Which wasn't really surprising when she considered that she hadn't been kissed since she was eighteen years old.
Chapter 4
There should be some sort of reentry cram course to the world for ex-nuns, thought Maura. A school where you could go to learn about all the things you didn't learn in the convent. With courses in such disciplines as "Coping with Day-to-Day Problems." In "Figuring Out How to Spend the Rest of Your Life."
Also "Online Banking." And of course "Men." Or maybe that one should be titled "Love." No, "Men" would be better. After all, men didn't necessarily mean love. What men all too often meant was sex, and you could have that without love. She'd just, in her breathless clinch with Xan, figured that out for herself. Chalk up a point for Sister Maura. Or, she reminded herself ruefully, ex-Sister Maura.
The fact that Kathleen and Scott were not home was a huge relief. As good Catholics, her sister and brother-in-law were still in shock over Maura's sudden departure from the nursing order of nuns to which she'd belonged for ten years. Although she'd tried to answer all their questions honestly, Maura was embarrassed to find that they regarded her warily, as they would someone who had somehow unexpectedly figured out a way to come back from the dead. Her re-involvement with the world was something they had no idea how to help her accomplish. Mostly they stood back in awestruck surprise and let Maura proceed at her own pace. Her choices were not always what theirs would have been.
Kathleen and Scott had thought of her as Sister Maura, their pious relative in California, for so long that it was hard for them to picture her in any other kind of life. That was why Maura never felt that she actually managed to communicate in any real, deep-down way with them, and so she was singularly glad that she didn't have to explain her late-night arrival tonight astride the back of a blue Harley with Xan Copeland. It was another thing they probably wouldn't understand.
She stripped off her clothes while the bath ran. On impulse
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