won’t be out of this bed this summer, if ever.”
“I’m sorry,” Marlin said even quieter.
“It’s nobody’s fault. We will do what we have always done. We’ll make do. You give me the list, and we’ll do what we can.”
“That’ll never work. You need someone who knows the stuff.”
“I’m sure whoever we find to bargain with will be able to handle that.”
“What about scavenging? I thought we were going to avoid contact if possible.”
“So I had hoped,” Jacob said. “But plans change.”
Marlin shook him off. “No matter. You still need someone who knows the stuff. Even if we find friendly people, we may still have to scavenge. Besides, they may not have what we want, but something else that will work. Someone on the mission needs to know the technology well enough to make a judgment call.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Jacob shot back. There was a pause while he took a deep breath. “I know this will make my mission hard, maybe impossible. But you are too sick, and that’s that. There is no way you can come.”
“And you know that’s not what I’m talking about,” Marlin snarled. There was the sound of rustling as he tried to rise. He started coughing and fell back. There was a long uncomfortable pause as he fought to catch his breath. “I taught her everything I know,” he said, his voice husky.
Amy went cold as she realized what he was talking about. Me? On the mission? Ever since the mission was proposed, she thought about the men leaving the valley and her behind. She imagined working alone in the garage, she and Elisabeth alone in this house, watching out the window for their father to return. She even thought of herself sitting alone in the evenings missing Luke’s company. Never once did she think of going on the mission.
“This is a military mission,” Jacob shouted, slapping his hand on the bedside table for emphasis. “It is no place for a little girl.”
Amy bristled. She had dark thoughts of bursting in and yelling at Jacob. Her father beat her to it. “Don’t you think I know it’s dangerous? Don’t you think I would do anything to spare her? Don’t you think I have prayed every night for the strength to last long enough?” Marlin broke off as he went into another coughing spell.
“Of course, of course,” Jacob said.
Amy didn’t hear much for a while after that. Her mind was spinning. Now she understood why her father had tried so hard to hide his illness. She was ashamed of his goodness, his self-sacrifice.
Why had it never occurred to her? It was so obvious, once she thought about it. Luke and Daniel had worked out as much weeks ago. They knew their fathers were no longer able to leave the ranch for an extended mission. They were too old, or they had too many responsibilities. This mission would belong to the next generation, and they had few enough of them to spare.
“I can’t approve of this, Marlin,” Jacob continued when Marlin had recovered somewhat. “The risks, the resources we would have to use to keep a woman safe out there . . .”
Marlin controlled his anger better after that. He knew as well as Amy how these people felt about women in general, and Amy specifically. He never fought it head on, the way Amy always did. He let Jacob argue. He did not refute a single point. In the end, it made no difference. They had no other choice.
Amy looked down as she heard Jacob rise to go. The knitting she was supposedly doing in the hall had not grown any longer the whole time she had listened. It was a hopeless mess anyway. She never seemed quite able to get it right. Everything came out lopsided.
The door opened, and Jacob came out. He sank down on a bench opposite Amy. “I’m sorry about your dad,” he said. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t change my mission. I have a ranch to save. I guess I’ll be needing you to come with us. I know, I know,” he said to the protest that never came, “there will be risks. A woman . . . well,
“I’m sorry,” Marlin said even quieter.
“It’s nobody’s fault. We will do what we have always done. We’ll make do. You give me the list, and we’ll do what we can.”
“That’ll never work. You need someone who knows the stuff.”
“I’m sure whoever we find to bargain with will be able to handle that.”
“What about scavenging? I thought we were going to avoid contact if possible.”
“So I had hoped,” Jacob said. “But plans change.”
Marlin shook him off. “No matter. You still need someone who knows the stuff. Even if we find friendly people, we may still have to scavenge. Besides, they may not have what we want, but something else that will work. Someone on the mission needs to know the technology well enough to make a judgment call.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Jacob shot back. There was a pause while he took a deep breath. “I know this will make my mission hard, maybe impossible. But you are too sick, and that’s that. There is no way you can come.”
“And you know that’s not what I’m talking about,” Marlin snarled. There was the sound of rustling as he tried to rise. He started coughing and fell back. There was a long uncomfortable pause as he fought to catch his breath. “I taught her everything I know,” he said, his voice husky.
Amy went cold as she realized what he was talking about. Me? On the mission? Ever since the mission was proposed, she thought about the men leaving the valley and her behind. She imagined working alone in the garage, she and Elisabeth alone in this house, watching out the window for their father to return. She even thought of herself sitting alone in the evenings missing Luke’s company. Never once did she think of going on the mission.
“This is a military mission,” Jacob shouted, slapping his hand on the bedside table for emphasis. “It is no place for a little girl.”
Amy bristled. She had dark thoughts of bursting in and yelling at Jacob. Her father beat her to it. “Don’t you think I know it’s dangerous? Don’t you think I would do anything to spare her? Don’t you think I have prayed every night for the strength to last long enough?” Marlin broke off as he went into another coughing spell.
“Of course, of course,” Jacob said.
Amy didn’t hear much for a while after that. Her mind was spinning. Now she understood why her father had tried so hard to hide his illness. She was ashamed of his goodness, his self-sacrifice.
Why had it never occurred to her? It was so obvious, once she thought about it. Luke and Daniel had worked out as much weeks ago. They knew their fathers were no longer able to leave the ranch for an extended mission. They were too old, or they had too many responsibilities. This mission would belong to the next generation, and they had few enough of them to spare.
“I can’t approve of this, Marlin,” Jacob continued when Marlin had recovered somewhat. “The risks, the resources we would have to use to keep a woman safe out there . . .”
Marlin controlled his anger better after that. He knew as well as Amy how these people felt about women in general, and Amy specifically. He never fought it head on, the way Amy always did. He let Jacob argue. He did not refute a single point. In the end, it made no difference. They had no other choice.
Amy looked down as she heard Jacob rise to go. The knitting she was supposedly doing in the hall had not grown any longer the whole time she had listened. It was a hopeless mess anyway. She never seemed quite able to get it right. Everything came out lopsided.
The door opened, and Jacob came out. He sank down on a bench opposite Amy. “I’m sorry about your dad,” he said. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t change my mission. I have a ranch to save. I guess I’ll be needing you to come with us. I know, I know,” he said to the protest that never came, “there will be risks. A woman . . . well,
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