sometimes have him trained - usually in one of the lesser Towers like Neskaya. I don’t doubt at all that your Andrew could - “
“You keep calling him my Andrew. He isn’t, Camilla.”
Camilla shrugged. She said, “Do you want more tea? This is cold.” And indeed, despite the fire on the hearth, a thin skin of ice had begun to form on Magda’s tea. “Or would you rather go up and sleep?”
“I am not sleepy.” Magda shivered; the memory of what she had seen in Lexie’s mind was still alive in her, and she wondered how she would ever manage to sleep. She got up and poured boiling water into her mug; tilted the spout toward Camilla. The older woman shook her bead.
“If I drink any more, I will never sleep! Nor will you.”
“Why should I sleep? I had hoped to be away at daybreak, and now I cannot. Cholayna has asked me to stay until this is resolved.”
“And of course you must do as Cholayna commands?”
“She is my friend. I would stay if you asked me; why not for her? But I would like to get back to my child.”
“A few more days will not weaken the bond, bredhiya .” Camilla’s face relaxed and she smiled. “I would like to see her - your daughter.”
“The journey to Armida is not so long as all that, and for all your talk of being old, Camilla, I know perfectly well that you could be off tomorrow to the Dry-Towns, or to Dalereuth, or the Wall Around the World itself, if you had some reason! Why not ride back with me when I go, and see my little Shaya?”
Camilla smiled. “I? Among those leronyn ?”
“They are my friends and my family, Camilla. They would welcome you if only as my friend.”
“One day, then, perhaps. Not this time, I think. Shaya - we called Jaelle so, as a child. So she is Jaelle’s namesake? What does she look like? Is she like you, your daughter?”
“Her hair curls like mine, but not so dark; her eyes are like mine, but Ferrika thinks they will darken as she grows older. To me, she has a look of my father: I know she has his hands. Strange, is it not? We renounce our fathers when we swear the Oath, yet we cannot wholly renounce them; they reappear in the faces of our children.”
“Perhaps it is as well I had no daughter. I would not have cared to see in her the face of the man who renounced me before ever I renounced him! Your father, though, seems to have been a remarkable man, and I dare say you have no reason to resent the likeness. But what of her father? I had assumed, of course, it was the same Lord Damon Ridenow who fathered Jaelle’s child - Comyn lords are encouraged to breed sons and daughters everywhere, as my own real father did. It’s odd that although my mother was with child by a man far above her own station and was then married off in consequence to a man far below it, still both of them were too proud to accept that I might be pregnant with the child of one of the rogues who - well, enough of that. But as I was saying - it seemed reasonable to me that it would be Lord Damon who fathered your child, as he did Jaelle’s.”
Magda laughed. “Oh, Damon is not like that. Believe me, he is not. Jaelle chose him for her child’s father, but it was her choice. Damon is very dear to me, but he is not my lover.”
“That Terran then? Your Andrew Carr, Lord Ann’dra? He is of your own people. I could understand that - well, as much as I could ever understand desire for a man.”
“At least you do not condemn it, as do so many women of the Guild, as treason to the Oath.”
Camilla chuckled. “No, I lived for years among men, as one of them, and I know that men are very like women - only not, perhaps, so free to be what they are. It’s a pity there’s no Guild-house for them. Jaelle has talked to me, a little, about Damon. But is it this Andrew, then?”
“I love Andrew,” Magda said, “almost as much as I love Lady Callista. When first I decided that I wanted a child, we talked of it, all three of us.”
She knew she could never have explained to Camilla
“You keep calling him my Andrew. He isn’t, Camilla.”
Camilla shrugged. She said, “Do you want more tea? This is cold.” And indeed, despite the fire on the hearth, a thin skin of ice had begun to form on Magda’s tea. “Or would you rather go up and sleep?”
“I am not sleepy.” Magda shivered; the memory of what she had seen in Lexie’s mind was still alive in her, and she wondered how she would ever manage to sleep. She got up and poured boiling water into her mug; tilted the spout toward Camilla. The older woman shook her bead.
“If I drink any more, I will never sleep! Nor will you.”
“Why should I sleep? I had hoped to be away at daybreak, and now I cannot. Cholayna has asked me to stay until this is resolved.”
“And of course you must do as Cholayna commands?”
“She is my friend. I would stay if you asked me; why not for her? But I would like to get back to my child.”
“A few more days will not weaken the bond, bredhiya .” Camilla’s face relaxed and she smiled. “I would like to see her - your daughter.”
“The journey to Armida is not so long as all that, and for all your talk of being old, Camilla, I know perfectly well that you could be off tomorrow to the Dry-Towns, or to Dalereuth, or the Wall Around the World itself, if you had some reason! Why not ride back with me when I go, and see my little Shaya?”
Camilla smiled. “I? Among those leronyn ?”
“They are my friends and my family, Camilla. They would welcome you if only as my friend.”
“One day, then, perhaps. Not this time, I think. Shaya - we called Jaelle so, as a child. So she is Jaelle’s namesake? What does she look like? Is she like you, your daughter?”
“Her hair curls like mine, but not so dark; her eyes are like mine, but Ferrika thinks they will darken as she grows older. To me, she has a look of my father: I know she has his hands. Strange, is it not? We renounce our fathers when we swear the Oath, yet we cannot wholly renounce them; they reappear in the faces of our children.”
“Perhaps it is as well I had no daughter. I would not have cared to see in her the face of the man who renounced me before ever I renounced him! Your father, though, seems to have been a remarkable man, and I dare say you have no reason to resent the likeness. But what of her father? I had assumed, of course, it was the same Lord Damon Ridenow who fathered Jaelle’s child - Comyn lords are encouraged to breed sons and daughters everywhere, as my own real father did. It’s odd that although my mother was with child by a man far above her own station and was then married off in consequence to a man far below it, still both of them were too proud to accept that I might be pregnant with the child of one of the rogues who - well, enough of that. But as I was saying - it seemed reasonable to me that it would be Lord Damon who fathered your child, as he did Jaelle’s.”
Magda laughed. “Oh, Damon is not like that. Believe me, he is not. Jaelle chose him for her child’s father, but it was her choice. Damon is very dear to me, but he is not my lover.”
“That Terran then? Your Andrew Carr, Lord Ann’dra? He is of your own people. I could understand that - well, as much as I could ever understand desire for a man.”
“At least you do not condemn it, as do so many women of the Guild, as treason to the Oath.”
Camilla chuckled. “No, I lived for years among men, as one of them, and I know that men are very like women - only not, perhaps, so free to be what they are. It’s a pity there’s no Guild-house for them. Jaelle has talked to me, a little, about Damon. But is it this Andrew, then?”
“I love Andrew,” Magda said, “almost as much as I love Lady Callista. When first I decided that I wanted a child, we talked of it, all three of us.”
She knew she could never have explained to Camilla
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