And nothing. After that - nothing.”
----
CHAPTER FOUR
Camilla turned away and banked the fire. She felt carefully about the legs of Magda’s breeches to see if they were dry.
“Leave them for a few minutes more,” she said.
“Camilla! You know something of the Sisterhood; what are they?”
Camilla was still fussing with the half-dried clothing.
“If I knew,” she said, “I would be like Marisela - sworn to secrecy. Why do you think those people don’t make it, whatever it is that they know, part of the regular Training sessions? Secrets, bah! Once Marisela tried to get me to join them. When I would not, she was very annoyed with me. Weren’t you angry when Lexie refused to join the Penta Cori’yo ?
That was different , Magda thought, even though she could not define how. She was not accustomed to defending herself against Camilla, not anymore.
“You don’t like Marisela?”
“Certainly I like her. But I refused to make her the keeper of my conscience and of course she has never forgiven me for that. But when first she insisted I should join them, she did tell me something of the original purposes of the Sisterhood. Most of it is what you would expect from the Oath, the usual business about women as sisters, Men dia pre’ zhiuro, sister and mother and daughter to all women - but there is more; it is to give teaching in laran to those who were not born Comyn and thus are not eligible for training in the ordinary Towers. She even tried to frighten me - threatened me with all kinds of dreadful consequences if I was not willing to swallow her kind of medicine for my ills. “
“That does not sound like Marisela,” Magda said.
“Oh, believe me, she did not say it in those words. She didn’t bully me, or say do what I suggest or you will have to suffer all kinds of things - no, it was more a matter of being afraid for me. More a matter of - Let me help you, you poor thing, or you cannot imagine how dreadful it will be . You know the kind of thing I mean.” Magda heard the unspoken part of that, and you know how much I would hate that kind of thing , just as clearly as she had heard what Camilla had said aloud. She knew Camilla trusted her enough not to take advantage, or she would never have allowed that.
“Among other things, Marisela tried to tell me that an untrained telepath is a danger to herself and to everyone around her.” Camilla’s scornful look showed what she thought of that.
But that is perfectly true , Magda thought, remembering her own training. And the attempt to block her own laran had all but destroyed Jaelle. If Camilla had done so unharmed, it would have taken such iron control, such perfect self-discipline -
But Camilla did have both iron control and perfect self-discipline; she had had to have them, or she could never have survived what had happened to her. And if she had the strength to survive all that - not unscarred, but simply to survive - then she had the control and discipline for that too. But Magda was not surprised that Marisela did not believe it.
“At that time - after I was - changed, and recovered,” Camilla said, almost inaudibly, “Leonie offered me this. She said something of the same sort - that I had been born into the caste with laran and therefore could not survive without that teaching. I honor Leonie - she was kind to me when I greatly needed that kindness. She saved more than my life; she saved my reason. For all that, I would have been more comfortable with the bandits who so misused me; at least, when they violated me, they didn’t pretend they were doing it for my own good.”
Magda did not say a word. Only twice in the years they had known each other had Camilla referred to the trauma of her girlhood, which had made her what she was; Magda had some idea what it had cost Camilla to say this much, even to her. Abruptly, Camilla jerked the drying tunic and undervest off the rack and began vigorously to fold them.
“Like Jaelle, I was asked to join the
----
CHAPTER FOUR
Camilla turned away and banked the fire. She felt carefully about the legs of Magda’s breeches to see if they were dry.
“Leave them for a few minutes more,” she said.
“Camilla! You know something of the Sisterhood; what are they?”
Camilla was still fussing with the half-dried clothing.
“If I knew,” she said, “I would be like Marisela - sworn to secrecy. Why do you think those people don’t make it, whatever it is that they know, part of the regular Training sessions? Secrets, bah! Once Marisela tried to get me to join them. When I would not, she was very annoyed with me. Weren’t you angry when Lexie refused to join the Penta Cori’yo ?
That was different , Magda thought, even though she could not define how. She was not accustomed to defending herself against Camilla, not anymore.
“You don’t like Marisela?”
“Certainly I like her. But I refused to make her the keeper of my conscience and of course she has never forgiven me for that. But when first she insisted I should join them, she did tell me something of the original purposes of the Sisterhood. Most of it is what you would expect from the Oath, the usual business about women as sisters, Men dia pre’ zhiuro, sister and mother and daughter to all women - but there is more; it is to give teaching in laran to those who were not born Comyn and thus are not eligible for training in the ordinary Towers. She even tried to frighten me - threatened me with all kinds of dreadful consequences if I was not willing to swallow her kind of medicine for my ills. “
“That does not sound like Marisela,” Magda said.
“Oh, believe me, she did not say it in those words. She didn’t bully me, or say do what I suggest or you will have to suffer all kinds of things - no, it was more a matter of being afraid for me. More a matter of - Let me help you, you poor thing, or you cannot imagine how dreadful it will be . You know the kind of thing I mean.” Magda heard the unspoken part of that, and you know how much I would hate that kind of thing , just as clearly as she had heard what Camilla had said aloud. She knew Camilla trusted her enough not to take advantage, or she would never have allowed that.
“Among other things, Marisela tried to tell me that an untrained telepath is a danger to herself and to everyone around her.” Camilla’s scornful look showed what she thought of that.
But that is perfectly true , Magda thought, remembering her own training. And the attempt to block her own laran had all but destroyed Jaelle. If Camilla had done so unharmed, it would have taken such iron control, such perfect self-discipline -
But Camilla did have both iron control and perfect self-discipline; she had had to have them, or she could never have survived what had happened to her. And if she had the strength to survive all that - not unscarred, but simply to survive - then she had the control and discipline for that too. But Magda was not surprised that Marisela did not believe it.
“At that time - after I was - changed, and recovered,” Camilla said, almost inaudibly, “Leonie offered me this. She said something of the same sort - that I had been born into the caste with laran and therefore could not survive without that teaching. I honor Leonie - she was kind to me when I greatly needed that kindness. She saved more than my life; she saved my reason. For all that, I would have been more comfortable with the bandits who so misused me; at least, when they violated me, they didn’t pretend they were doing it for my own good.”
Magda did not say a word. Only twice in the years they had known each other had Camilla referred to the trauma of her girlhood, which had made her what she was; Magda had some idea what it had cost Camilla to say this much, even to her. Abruptly, Camilla jerked the drying tunic and undervest off the rack and began vigorously to fold them.
“Like Jaelle, I was asked to join the
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