wondering if Ramona, or you, has seen Phoebe around. And if so, you know, how sheâs doing.â She neither wanted to say nor think the name
Robbie.
âHow come you gotta ask
me
that? You get your phone cut off? Or your legs?â
âNot exactly,â Claudia admitted. âBut Phoebe and I . . . weâve been out of touch.â
âI see Phoebe every other damn day,â Darleen countered. â
You
the one whoâs out of touch. Where you staying these days?â
âPark Slope,â Claudia replied.
âOooh,â Darleen teased. âYou a Slopie now. Too good for the ghetto.â
âItâs not that,â Claudia said. âPlease. Can you tell me how sheâs doing?â
âI only see her
around,
â Darleen explained, with some irritation. âI ainât her
parole
officer.â
Â
Claudiaâs subway car was empty, except for a lone guy in a Triple FAT parka sleeping hunched over, his head resting in his own lap, and a pair of Dominican girls with white lipstick sharing a single pair of headphones. Still, Claudia rode home standing, commanding a doorway, her eyes obscured by the dark green lenses of her aviators. She looked tough and felt empty. Not particularly bereft, but hollow and disconnected from her own nerve endings.
As the F train emerged from the tunnel at Carroll Street and chugged its ascent, Claudia turned to take in the sweeping view. It was a cold November day, with narrow, shredded clouds skittering high in a blue sky. Each backyard and rooftop stood in bright relief, heightened and silent, emanating a life force that penetrated the scratched Plexiglas of the train window, like a photo-realistic painting sheâd seen at the Whitney Museum as a child, standing at Edithâs side. Claudia imagined she could see her entire life unfurling across this landscape of brick, concrete, and metal that she knew by heart. Her high school was over there and Edithâs brownstone was here. There was the school yard where sheâd had her first kiss. Her college was over the river and through Morningside Park, a crosstown bus ride from where sheâd been born. She belonged to this tiny part of the world, but the feeling wasnât mutual. Claudiaâs universe easily carried on without her.
At this time of day, the quiet apartment presented an appealing, shabby gentility. Claudia made her bed, and put the kettle on. When the buzzer rang it jolted the cozy scene. It could have been a package from UPS, filled with Bronwynâs latest order from J.Crew, and yet, as the buzzer sounded again a moment later, Claudia sensed danger.
Darleen was waiting at the top of the step, still with the Jheri curl and the Air Jordans, her white breath filling the air. Claudia opened the door and braced herself for a bitch-slap. But Darleen merely gestured, as Ramona appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
She had brought someone with her.
Standing behind Ramona was a tall sixteen-year-old girl with broad shoulders, long arms, and knee-high Minnetonka moccasins.
Phoebe.
She wept loudly as she ascended the stairs into Claudiaâs arms. She had grown taller than her older sister, but she collapsed into the hug, hanging her body from Claudiaâs shoulders, so that Claudia both embraced her and held her up. Ramona swiped at her own tears.
âOh my God, oh my God,â sobbed Phoebe.
âThank you,â Claudia said to Darleen. âThank you so much.â Darleen shrugged, and slung her arm around her own sisterâs narrow shoulders. âBy the way,â Darleen said, squinting at Claudia, âthe ghetto is up here.â She tapped her temple with authority. âYou know that, right?â The Parkers turned to go.
âRamona,â said Claudia. âIâm sorry. For accusing you.â
âItâs cool,â said Ramona.
âNo it ainât,â Darleen reprimanded.
âI mean,
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