he could wrap me in his arms. He sobbed silently and I let my tears slid, dropping into his hair.
“Let’ s go to bed” I said.
He nodded, drained his glass and went upstairs. I retrieved my mobile phone and saw a missed call and a message. I dialled and listened to the joyful voices of my best friends Sarah and Chris. It was almost two in the morning so I didn't phone back, just tapped in a short message.
“Happy New Year to you both, sorry I missed your call. I will ring you tomorrow and explain”
Upstairs I passed by Charlotte's bedroom and heard whispered voices inside. Opening the door into our bedroom James was under the covers. We spooned together and didn't need to say a word, our heartbeats in time but heavy with despair. Julia dragged the duvet from the spare room into Charlotte's and was going to top and tail on the bed with her best friend. Charlie reached for her hand.
“I need a hug” she pleaded, her body shaking as if cold but more from the shock of the helmet. Julia wrapped the two duvets around them and cuddled up, feeling more tears flowing. Suddenly she started to hiccup and cough as she tried to find the words.
“Why, why did I do that?”
“Do what?”
“Zach” she whispered.
“Zach, what”
“I let him fuck me”
The sobs started again, this time it was guilt and shame. If Mitchell was alive he would never forgive her for this. She was supposed to be waiting for him. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest.
“So that's where you were”
“Yes, I just wanted to have some fun.....I just wanted him to be a substitute for Mitch. I thought Mitch didn't want me anymore, now I know that he was coming back”
“So forget it, you told me before that he's a womaniser”
“But....but I enjoyed it”
“Charlie who does your heart sing for?”
“Mitchell” she sighed “It will always be Mitchell”
Silent after her admission Charlie closed her eyes and found her favourite picture of Mitchell there. If the police found him alive she would be the most loyal, unswerving girlfriend ever. If he was dead......she shook her head and opened her eyes again so that it was the moonlit bedroom she saw, not the helmet. Julia was flat out and snoring beside her, but she felt comforted. Closing her eyes she tried to conjure up all the special times she had shared with Mitchell, but then in her dreams it was Zach that appeared, pumping into her like a man possessed.
I hardly slept next to James and I don't think he did either although it was hard to tell when his eyes were shut. Every now and then his body would shake or twitch. When I closed my eyes I was back in a graveyard burying Mark. But if Mitchell was dead this would be twenty times worse. I had grown to love him for the polite and courteous way that he had treated my daughter, then in a way even more as James' son. Even though it now appeared that he wasn't. With my heart only just healed how could I try and help pick up the pieces of two shattered lives.
Creeping from the bed early I sought the solace of a cup of coffee and my morning fix of music. Louise had drawn the short straw this morning getting the first shift of th e New Year. I knew that all the staff had jumped at the free nightclub tickets but she had promised to leave early. With Jester close by I picked up the phone and dialled Sarah's number, she would know what to do.
“Hey Happy New Yea r Steph” she said.
“Is it”
“What' s happened”
“James was on a shout last night and found Mitchell's bike helmet damaged and lying by the river”
There was silence as the information sunk in, followed by a gasp of shock
“Oh mygod , Steph ! How are you? How's James? How's Charlotte” she stammered out.
“Not sure yet, this all happened in the early hours. The police are going back out to the spot to make further searches. James wants to help them”
“I suppose you can't help thinking the worst, but you never know” Sarah said,
“Let’ s go to bed” I said.
He nodded, drained his glass and went upstairs. I retrieved my mobile phone and saw a missed call and a message. I dialled and listened to the joyful voices of my best friends Sarah and Chris. It was almost two in the morning so I didn't phone back, just tapped in a short message.
“Happy New Year to you both, sorry I missed your call. I will ring you tomorrow and explain”
Upstairs I passed by Charlotte's bedroom and heard whispered voices inside. Opening the door into our bedroom James was under the covers. We spooned together and didn't need to say a word, our heartbeats in time but heavy with despair. Julia dragged the duvet from the spare room into Charlotte's and was going to top and tail on the bed with her best friend. Charlie reached for her hand.
“I need a hug” she pleaded, her body shaking as if cold but more from the shock of the helmet. Julia wrapped the two duvets around them and cuddled up, feeling more tears flowing. Suddenly she started to hiccup and cough as she tried to find the words.
“Why, why did I do that?”
“Do what?”
“Zach” she whispered.
“Zach, what”
“I let him fuck me”
The sobs started again, this time it was guilt and shame. If Mitchell was alive he would never forgive her for this. She was supposed to be waiting for him. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest.
“So that's where you were”
“Yes, I just wanted to have some fun.....I just wanted him to be a substitute for Mitch. I thought Mitch didn't want me anymore, now I know that he was coming back”
“So forget it, you told me before that he's a womaniser”
“But....but I enjoyed it”
“Charlie who does your heart sing for?”
“Mitchell” she sighed “It will always be Mitchell”
Silent after her admission Charlie closed her eyes and found her favourite picture of Mitchell there. If the police found him alive she would be the most loyal, unswerving girlfriend ever. If he was dead......she shook her head and opened her eyes again so that it was the moonlit bedroom she saw, not the helmet. Julia was flat out and snoring beside her, but she felt comforted. Closing her eyes she tried to conjure up all the special times she had shared with Mitchell, but then in her dreams it was Zach that appeared, pumping into her like a man possessed.
I hardly slept next to James and I don't think he did either although it was hard to tell when his eyes were shut. Every now and then his body would shake or twitch. When I closed my eyes I was back in a graveyard burying Mark. But if Mitchell was dead this would be twenty times worse. I had grown to love him for the polite and courteous way that he had treated my daughter, then in a way even more as James' son. Even though it now appeared that he wasn't. With my heart only just healed how could I try and help pick up the pieces of two shattered lives.
Creeping from the bed early I sought the solace of a cup of coffee and my morning fix of music. Louise had drawn the short straw this morning getting the first shift of th e New Year. I knew that all the staff had jumped at the free nightclub tickets but she had promised to leave early. With Jester close by I picked up the phone and dialled Sarah's number, she would know what to do.
“Hey Happy New Yea r Steph” she said.
“Is it”
“What' s happened”
“James was on a shout last night and found Mitchell's bike helmet damaged and lying by the river”
There was silence as the information sunk in, followed by a gasp of shock
“Oh mygod , Steph ! How are you? How's James? How's Charlotte” she stammered out.
“Not sure yet, this all happened in the early hours. The police are going back out to the spot to make further searches. James wants to help them”
“I suppose you can't help thinking the worst, but you never know” Sarah said,
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