restaurateur and tailor, both of whom were ex-directory. The Star Maker, recuperating from yet another operation and skin graft, was rumored to be watching in Casablanca, on a closed circuit via Telstar.
This was clearly the “in” set, Mortimer thought, looking around, pointedly unimpressed. London’s celebrated swingers. Ordinarily he and Joyce would never have been included in such a charmed circle, but Ziggy Spicehandler who had directed this, the first Film of Fact, had written to the festival committee from Ibiza, and they had been sent tickets. This was uncharacteristically thoughtful of Ziggy, Mortimer thought, even middle-class, but only fair considering that he had lent him the money to buy his first hand-held camera and had, well, starred in his first film. The usual home-movie stuff. Mortimer mowing the lawn, throwing Doug in the air, clowning at the barbecue, washing the car, clowning with Joyce, etc. etc.
Several years in the making, Different was, Mortimer had been led to believe, the most daring new-wave film yet to be made in England, but as a matter of fact it opened conventionally enough.
Fade in:
EXT. DAY. VATICAN CITY. ST. PETER’S SQUARE .
As the POPE is carried out among the faithful we see thousands upon thousands of them falling on their knees.
EXT. DAY. A FIELD
Working-class wheat bending obsequiously in the middle-class wind.
RESUME ST. PETER’S SQUARE. LONG SHOT .
In the far, far distance, a black-suited figure stands erect, the only one in thousands not on his knees.
ZOOM IN ON STANDING FIGURE .
A greasy, bearded Jew with a hooked nose looms over the faithful, chewing a sour pickle, the juice trickling down his chin.
Now faces were flashed on the screen. OSCAR WILDE. ISADORA DUNCAN. JOHN PROFUMO. HIMMLER. DYLAN. SAMMY DAVIS WEARING A SKULL CAP AND EATING GEFÜLLTE FISH. STEPHEN WARD. TROTSKY. MARILYN MONROE. RASPUTIN. DUKE OF WINDSOR. JUDAS. CATHERINE THE GREAT. LEE OSWALD. GIRODIAS. CASTRO. SENATOR JOSEPH MCCARTHY. BERTRAND RUSSELL. JAMES DEAN .
Then, inexplicably, the film cut to:
CU WALL-CAN OPENER
Hand opening an unlabeled can. As the can, ostensibly empty, is inverted over a bowl, LAUGHTER pours out. Mad, zany laughter fills the screen. SUPERIMPOSE laughter over a barefoot NEGRO BOY walking down a country road. Pursued by laughter he begins to run, run and run. But as the NEGRO BOY runs forward, the reactionary American landscape moves backward, leaving him in the same place.
As the swingers around Mortimer burst into applause, the screen went blank.
Silence. Nothing.
Finally Ziggy Spicehandler himself appeared on screen and wrote on a blackboard:
Presenting
A LIFE IN THE DAY OF JOHN JOHN JOHN
EXT. DAY.HAMPSTEAD GARDEN SUBURB. LONG TERRACE OF HOUSES .
Pan down a row of similar doors as they open and similar-looking husbands emerge, kiss similar-looking pretty wives goodbye and walk away whistling similar tunes to their similar cars … HOLD last door, last house.
EXT. DAY. HAMPSTEAD GARDEN SUBURB. LAST HOUSE. LAST GARDEN .
A DOG frolics on the grass.
ZOOM in on DOG’S EYE
Reflected in PUPIL is last door, last house, as
JOHN JOHN JOHN kisses his pretty wife.
The film then stayed with John John John as he went about his humdrum tasks in an office building that was clearly impersonal. Finally, his work done, John John John phoned to say he would be working late, and then off he drove.
SLOW DISSOLVE TO:
CU LOUIS XV CHANDELIER
MUSIC: Adam Faith sings “I Could Have Danced All Night.”
TRACKING down to reveal
we are at a Drag Ball. PANNING over liberated, merrymaking couples, finally
TRACKING IN on
CU JOHN JOHN JOHN
Dancing cheek to cheek with another MAN
FREEZE FRAME
COMMENTATOR (Voice Over)
Yes. John John John is different. He is a square peg in a round hole, an outsider, and in this square society … that’s asking for trouble.
ENORMOUS CU JOHN JOHN JOHN
Rocking his head in his hands. Terror-struck. Sweaty.
The film then flash-cut to and fro from John John John to
This was clearly the “in” set, Mortimer thought, looking around, pointedly unimpressed. London’s celebrated swingers. Ordinarily he and Joyce would never have been included in such a charmed circle, but Ziggy Spicehandler who had directed this, the first Film of Fact, had written to the festival committee from Ibiza, and they had been sent tickets. This was uncharacteristically thoughtful of Ziggy, Mortimer thought, even middle-class, but only fair considering that he had lent him the money to buy his first hand-held camera and had, well, starred in his first film. The usual home-movie stuff. Mortimer mowing the lawn, throwing Doug in the air, clowning at the barbecue, washing the car, clowning with Joyce, etc. etc.
Several years in the making, Different was, Mortimer had been led to believe, the most daring new-wave film yet to be made in England, but as a matter of fact it opened conventionally enough.
Fade in:
EXT. DAY. VATICAN CITY. ST. PETER’S SQUARE .
As the POPE is carried out among the faithful we see thousands upon thousands of them falling on their knees.
EXT. DAY. A FIELD
Working-class wheat bending obsequiously in the middle-class wind.
RESUME ST. PETER’S SQUARE. LONG SHOT .
In the far, far distance, a black-suited figure stands erect, the only one in thousands not on his knees.
ZOOM IN ON STANDING FIGURE .
A greasy, bearded Jew with a hooked nose looms over the faithful, chewing a sour pickle, the juice trickling down his chin.
Now faces were flashed on the screen. OSCAR WILDE. ISADORA DUNCAN. JOHN PROFUMO. HIMMLER. DYLAN. SAMMY DAVIS WEARING A SKULL CAP AND EATING GEFÜLLTE FISH. STEPHEN WARD. TROTSKY. MARILYN MONROE. RASPUTIN. DUKE OF WINDSOR. JUDAS. CATHERINE THE GREAT. LEE OSWALD. GIRODIAS. CASTRO. SENATOR JOSEPH MCCARTHY. BERTRAND RUSSELL. JAMES DEAN .
Then, inexplicably, the film cut to:
CU WALL-CAN OPENER
Hand opening an unlabeled can. As the can, ostensibly empty, is inverted over a bowl, LAUGHTER pours out. Mad, zany laughter fills the screen. SUPERIMPOSE laughter over a barefoot NEGRO BOY walking down a country road. Pursued by laughter he begins to run, run and run. But as the NEGRO BOY runs forward, the reactionary American landscape moves backward, leaving him in the same place.
As the swingers around Mortimer burst into applause, the screen went blank.
Silence. Nothing.
Finally Ziggy Spicehandler himself appeared on screen and wrote on a blackboard:
Presenting
A LIFE IN THE DAY OF JOHN JOHN JOHN
EXT. DAY.HAMPSTEAD GARDEN SUBURB. LONG TERRACE OF HOUSES .
Pan down a row of similar doors as they open and similar-looking husbands emerge, kiss similar-looking pretty wives goodbye and walk away whistling similar tunes to their similar cars … HOLD last door, last house.
EXT. DAY. HAMPSTEAD GARDEN SUBURB. LAST HOUSE. LAST GARDEN .
A DOG frolics on the grass.
ZOOM in on DOG’S EYE
Reflected in PUPIL is last door, last house, as
JOHN JOHN JOHN kisses his pretty wife.
The film then stayed with John John John as he went about his humdrum tasks in an office building that was clearly impersonal. Finally, his work done, John John John phoned to say he would be working late, and then off he drove.
SLOW DISSOLVE TO:
CU LOUIS XV CHANDELIER
MUSIC: Adam Faith sings “I Could Have Danced All Night.”
TRACKING down to reveal
we are at a Drag Ball. PANNING over liberated, merrymaking couples, finally
TRACKING IN on
CU JOHN JOHN JOHN
Dancing cheek to cheek with another MAN
FREEZE FRAME
COMMENTATOR (Voice Over)
Yes. John John John is different. He is a square peg in a round hole, an outsider, and in this square society … that’s asking for trouble.
ENORMOUS CU JOHN JOHN JOHN
Rocking his head in his hands. Terror-struck. Sweaty.
The film then flash-cut to and fro from John John John to