Colin and the Magic Bookmark by Merv Lambert Page A

everything. Mrs. Biggle shrieked and giggled throughout. Colin and Mr. Jellysox had not heard her laugh before. It seemed most unnatural to them. However, about halfway into the walk, when Fungus said they were to beware of any ghostly animals they saw and upsetting them might bring bad luck, Mrs. Biggle seemed to shiver and was quiet for nearly twenty seconds. Mr. Jellysox had taken a lot of photos on his digital camera on their way round the castle. He even took some of the Count and his wife. There was a good one of Fungus looking seriously malignant, but none of Mrs. Biggle. At the end of the tour everyone thanked Fungus for making it such terrifying fun. They had all laughed a lot, pretending to be really frightened. This gave Colin an idea.
    â€œCan I ask you a favour, Mr. Jellysox?” he asked.
    â€œOf course. What is it?”
    â€œWould you take a special photograph of Sammy and me?”
    â€œCertainly. My pleasure, I’m sure.”
    â€œBut first I need to get some things I found in the room.”
    â€œO.K. No problem. I’ll come with you.”
    They went back to Group O and Colin said, “Look.” He held out some joke false vampire teeth. If I wear these, and if Sammy will let me put these small ones in his mouth, it would make a brilliant photo.”
    â€œHmm. O.K.” said Mr. Jellysox.
    Sammy did not need much persuading. He realised it was some sort of game. He gripped the false teeth firmly in his mouth and looked immediately like a grinning vampire dog. Colin popped his own set of horrible fangs into his own mouth. He too looked the part, possibly Count Dracula’s little brother. Mr. Jellysox took a picture of them both. The camera flashed. The bookmark throbbed once in Colin’s pocket. The digital screen showed an excellent photo.
    Then Mr. Jellysox had a wicked idea. He snapped his fingers in delight and was jumping up and down excitedly as he told Colin, who immediately grinned and said, “Good idea! Let’s do it!”
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    Mr. Jellysox went to borrow a couple of cloaks from the staff, who had played the ghosts and ghouls in the Ghost Walk. When he came back, he popped another set of false vampire teeth into his mouth. Both he and Colin found it was not easy talking while they were wearing these false dentures, but they could make some strange noises and gurgles. They practised one or two and couldn’t stop giggling. They had to calm down before they put on their cloaks and Colin clipped Sammy’s lead to his collar. Then all three of them slipped out of the room and went in search of a certain person, whom they soon located making a lot of noise and fuss in the hotel lounge-bar. Mrs. Biggle had worked herself up into a frenzy of excitement because she had drunk one or two too many gin and tonics and was now at last speaking in person to her favourite T.V. celebrities, the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies. These were four actors, two men Josh and Steve, and two women, Anna and Emily, who played Molly and Apollo Swallow and Abel and Goldie Finch in several series of over the top stories called The Love Birds, stories in which they were always excruciatingly madly in love and giving each other absurd presents such as a full-size chocolate motor-car or a remote controlled luminous golf-bag for use at night, or else they had raging rows, involving throwing ridiculous things at each other such as sculptures of Martian spacemen, hot-water bottles (without stoppers) filled with tomato-ketchup or giant cushions shaped like jellyfish and other sea creatures. This all took place in two very posh neighbouring houses in Kensington. Mrs. Biggle, being rather naïve, believed it all, as if each story had really happened. By this time the actors were looking thoroughly fed up, as admiring, flattering words gushed forth from Mrs. Biggle in an unending flow, all drunken nonsense. The Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies were too polite to interrupt. Mr. Biggle, looking equally as