Colin and the Magic Bookmark by Merv Lambert

this.”
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    A little while later he was not so sure. He had arranged to meet Mr. Jellysox in the hotel restaurant just before seven o’clock. As he walked in, he spotted someone he knew, someone he hoped never to see again. His brain went, “Neaaargh! No! No! No!” It was Mrs. Biggle, sitting at a table with all her family! Mr. Biggle, however, was for once looking cheerful. He raised his glass, smiled at Colin and walked over. Mrs. Biggle on the contrary stared straight through Colin in her usual unfriendly manner.
    â€œWhat are you doing here?” asked Mr. Biggle.
    â€œI don’t really know. I seem to be on a weekend holiday break.”
    â€œI love it here,” said Mr. Biggle. “You know, all that horror movie stuff. They use this place for the Castle Zorn films, and I persuaded my wife to come here and try it.”
    Colin thought to himself, “ She certainly matches the atmosphere!” But he did not wish to offend Mr. Biggle, whom he quite liked, and so he said nothing.
    â€œShe only agreed to come here though,” went on Mr. Biggle, “because the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies are staying here. They are filming next week. Personally I can’t stand them. Anyway, nice to see you.” With a friendly wave he went back to his table.
    â€œOh no!” thought Colin. “First Mrs. Biggle, now the Luvvy Duvvy Wuvvies! I don’t think I can stand it either!”
    Just as Mr. Jellysox joined Colin, the tall, thin head-waiter, also dressed in black, and who looked like a younger brother of Fungus, appeared and showed them to their table. They were soon reading through the strange menu.
    â€œWhat on earth’s a Frankensteinburger? Does it have a steel bolt through it?” asked Colin.
    â€œI’ve no idea. And what about a Dracula Salad?” chuckled Mr. Jellysox.
    â€œEven the soup’s called Cream of Venison Congealed .!”
    â€œWell, how about a Scary Lasagne? Does it bite you back?”
    â€œSomeone has gone to a lot of trouble to think up these names.”
    â€œSomeone with a weird imagination,” added Mr. Jellysox.
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    In fact the meal was very good. The Foxtail Soup was different. They enjoyed their Vampire Steak (Rare) with Potato Fangs, followed by Fruitbat Trifle and all washed down with a bottle of Dragon’s Blood Wine.
    They were just about to leave their table, when the Count approached them.
    â€œGentlemen, allow me to introduce my wife, the Countess Anaesthesia,” he said.
    A rather frightening looking woman with an extremely pale face and pointed teeth stepped forward to shake hands or rather the tips of her fingers with them. She peered at them through a lorgnette in a rather strange way, almost thirstily. Her smile was quite chilling.
    â€œYes,” thought Colin, “she’s definitely here to increase the atmosphere!”
    Meanwhile the Countess was murmuring, “How delicious, … er…how sweet to meet you.”
    Mr. Jellysox seemed dumbstruck. His legs were trembling.
    Colin, however, just laughed and said, “Delighted to meet you, ma’am.”
    Suddenly all the lights went out, and Fungus’ voice boomed out. “Don’t be afraid now, ladies and gentlemen. That comes later, if you wish to join me on the Ghost Walk round the castle. It begins in five minutes. I will be your guide. Meet me in reception please.”
    â€œOoh! Lovely!” squealed Mrs. Biggle. “How exciting!”
    â€œInterested?” Colin asked Mr. Jellysox.
    â€œWhy not?” was the reply.
    In fact everyone enjoyed the Ghost Walk, even the ghosts, who were hotel staff dressed up in long robes, wigs, skeleton costumes with gruesome masks and red eyes that lit up from battery packs at the press of a button. These weird creatures would hide, then leap out and startle the guests and make bloodcurdling howls and hissing noises. Sammy was not impressed. He just trotted round happily sniffing