cellphone still in the other, just wrapping up a conversation. “Okay, I’ll be there within a few minutes.”
Ending the call, he put the phone into his pocket, leaning down as he did so to give me a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Have a good day. I’ll see you when I get home.”
A chaste kiss. That was all I was going to get? I remembered a time when Shaw’s farewells included bending me over the counter for a quickie because he couldn’t stand the thought of being away from me all day. Those were the sorts of quickies I didn’t mind, feverish and passionate, so unlike the one from last night.
My trip down Memory Lane nearly sidetracked me from my mission as Shaw was two steps away from disappearing for the day. I stood and rushed for the front door, throwing myself against it to block him from leaving.
Shaw pulled up short, drawing his head back in confusion. “What are you doing?”
I had to admit even I was a little shocked by my behavior. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. “I’ve been waiting all morning, Shaw. Patiently. Can I have a minute, please?”
His brow furrowed, the first sign of concern I’d seen from him in what seemed like forever. And then he looked down at his watch again. “Yeah, sure,” he said. “But a minute is about
all
I have. What’s going on? Is Abe okay?”
“He’s fine, but we need to talk.”
He waved his free hand in the air for me to continue with every indication that I should make it quick. “You said that earlier. Should I guess at the topic, or would you like for me to read your mind?”
“Us,” I said simply. “We need to talk about us.”
Right on cue, he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Cass, Wade apparently has some epic announcement he wants to make to the rest of the staff today, but not before discussing it with me. As I speak, he’s sitting in my office, waiting for me to haul my ass in there. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this right now.”
“Well, I
have
to do this right now. I can’t go through another second without doing it. Wade will get over it.”
Shaw dropped his briefcase onto the couch, undoubtedly aggravated by my insistence. “Fine. What is it? I already apologized for yesterday, so what could I possibly have done wrong between last night and this morning?”
“Are you serious right now?” I was flabbergasted by his annoyance. “You make me feel like I can’t talk to you about things that are bothering me, Shaw. Don’t you see that as a problem? This is exactly why I wanted to see a counselor. Because you refuse to talk to me about our issues.”
His stare was blank, though the way he looked down at that stupid watch was a clear indication that the clock was running on how much time he’d allow me to get out what I had to say.
“I
love
you.” Hearing my own voice, I wondered if people were supposed to sound so desperate when they said those three words. Like I was willing him to love me back. To say it and convince me that he meant it. “Look at me.”
He did.
I needed to hold his attention without any distraction so I could see with my own eyes what I knew with my heart. And oh, God, but I hoped my heart was wrong. “Tell me.”
“Really? You want to do this right now?” When I didn’t answer, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back in aggravation. Then he put a hand on his hip, took a deep breath, and faced off with me again. But he looked nothing like the Shaw I once knew. The way he regarded me was like he was looking right through me. “I love you, Cass.”
I shook my head, knowing in an instant that what he said wasn’t true.
Shaw jumped on my reaction, quick to come to his own defense. “Yes, I do. I tell you I love you
every single day
. Multiple times a day.”
I nodded because it was true. He did. “You
tell
me. But it’s the way you look at me.”
Another one of those exasperated sighs. “That doesn’t even make any sense. What are you talking about?”
“It’s not
Ending the call, he put the phone into his pocket, leaning down as he did so to give me a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Have a good day. I’ll see you when I get home.”
A chaste kiss. That was all I was going to get? I remembered a time when Shaw’s farewells included bending me over the counter for a quickie because he couldn’t stand the thought of being away from me all day. Those were the sorts of quickies I didn’t mind, feverish and passionate, so unlike the one from last night.
My trip down Memory Lane nearly sidetracked me from my mission as Shaw was two steps away from disappearing for the day. I stood and rushed for the front door, throwing myself against it to block him from leaving.
Shaw pulled up short, drawing his head back in confusion. “What are you doing?”
I had to admit even I was a little shocked by my behavior. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. “I’ve been waiting all morning, Shaw. Patiently. Can I have a minute, please?”
His brow furrowed, the first sign of concern I’d seen from him in what seemed like forever. And then he looked down at his watch again. “Yeah, sure,” he said. “But a minute is about
all
I have. What’s going on? Is Abe okay?”
“He’s fine, but we need to talk.”
He waved his free hand in the air for me to continue with every indication that I should make it quick. “You said that earlier. Should I guess at the topic, or would you like for me to read your mind?”
“Us,” I said simply. “We need to talk about us.”
Right on cue, he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Cass, Wade apparently has some epic announcement he wants to make to the rest of the staff today, but not before discussing it with me. As I speak, he’s sitting in my office, waiting for me to haul my ass in there. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this right now.”
“Well, I
have
to do this right now. I can’t go through another second without doing it. Wade will get over it.”
Shaw dropped his briefcase onto the couch, undoubtedly aggravated by my insistence. “Fine. What is it? I already apologized for yesterday, so what could I possibly have done wrong between last night and this morning?”
“Are you serious right now?” I was flabbergasted by his annoyance. “You make me feel like I can’t talk to you about things that are bothering me, Shaw. Don’t you see that as a problem? This is exactly why I wanted to see a counselor. Because you refuse to talk to me about our issues.”
His stare was blank, though the way he looked down at that stupid watch was a clear indication that the clock was running on how much time he’d allow me to get out what I had to say.
“I
love
you.” Hearing my own voice, I wondered if people were supposed to sound so desperate when they said those three words. Like I was willing him to love me back. To say it and convince me that he meant it. “Look at me.”
He did.
I needed to hold his attention without any distraction so I could see with my own eyes what I knew with my heart. And oh, God, but I hoped my heart was wrong. “Tell me.”
“Really? You want to do this right now?” When I didn’t answer, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back in aggravation. Then he put a hand on his hip, took a deep breath, and faced off with me again. But he looked nothing like the Shaw I once knew. The way he regarded me was like he was looking right through me. “I love you, Cass.”
I shook my head, knowing in an instant that what he said wasn’t true.
Shaw jumped on my reaction, quick to come to his own defense. “Yes, I do. I tell you I love you
every single day
. Multiple times a day.”
I nodded because it was true. He did. “You
tell
me. But it’s the way you look at me.”
Another one of those exasperated sighs. “That doesn’t even make any sense. What are you talking about?”
“It’s not
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