doesn’t want anything — that’s such a godsend. I’m going to give her my wooden pearl necklace with the yellow specks on it — that will give her some quiet pleasure.
Today we also put on make-up. It looked all waxy, under the lamps in the dressing rooms and the light that was coming through the window. And Linni looked like a puffed-up painted dead body, with eyes like burnt sunnyside-up eggs, and the Trapper looked as if she had been a hooker for years. I really had to watch closely to see how they do it, the eyeliner and all that, and my face became strange to me in an interesting way. And when I smiled at myself in the mirror, it looked like I had a slit in my face. I’m all for powder and lip gloss — Coty dark in particular — but I think it’s wrong to do your make-upin a way that your own smile doesn’t belong to your face anymore.
But on stage with the lighting it looked just right. And we were wearing gigantic hats made from cheap material, because it’s the Thirty Years War — with huge feathers. I picked a hat with a white feather, because that’s something you can reuse. After the play is taken off the program, I’ll take it home. The rest of the costume is junk. It’s all ripped, just like the things Frau Ellmann from next door wears when she goes to clean at fancy homes. That’s so the lady of the house should feel the urge to give her clothes. And when she gets home she complains about them, like she doesn’t wear that kind of crap — and uses them as rags to clean her apartment. And Frau Becker, who lives above her and whose husband makes her more babies than he makes money, she would be happy if someone gave her a ripped blouse. But no one gives her anything, because she’s unassuming and decent. I hate the Ellmanns, for more than one reason.
What a day! It was the opening night of
Wallenstein
. I got more flowers than all the other actresses combined. That’s because I had spread the word that I would be playing, and except for Hubert, all the men I had ever had a relationship with were at the theater. I had no idea there were so many! Except for them, the theater was empty. There was hardly anyone there.
Käsemann behaved very well, sending a basket filled with roses and a golden bow and in red letters: “Bravo to the young artist!”
So I’m almost a star now. And Gustav Mooskopf sent yellow chrysanthemums the size of my mother’s head after she’s had it done. And delicatessen owner Prengel brought a basket filled with sardines and tomato paste and the finest saveloy and a note that I shouldn’t tell his wife. Only over my dead body. I wouldn’t put it past that woman to use vitriol, that’s why I’m staying away from Prengel whom I’d otherwise consider. And Johnny Klotz sent the horn from the Ford he’s paying off, together with a note saying that unfortunately he once again didn’t have a cent for flowers but he invites me and Therese to the
Mazurka-Bar
after the performance. He knows a waiter there who will take a rain check. And Jakob Schneider sent three elegant boxes of chocolate with purple ribbon and a yellow georgina and a polite invitation to have dinner with him at the
Schlossdiele
. But I can’t do that because unfortunately, he’s so cross-eyed that I start to get cross-eyed myself when I sit opposite him — and that makes me look less attractive, which is something that can’t be expected of me.
And finally all I did was have a simple beer with Therese and Hermann Zimmer in a bar nearby. Because Hermann Zimmer is leaving on montage and he moved me by giving me a bouquet of asters — and he hardly hasany money and is an old friend of mine. And he’s a member of the Athlete’s Club of which I’m the honorary lady member. And all the guys from the club sent a huge laurel and fir wreath decorated with colorful silk paper ornaments that was meant for the mayor’s funeral last week, but then didn’t get picked up because they couldn’t pay
Today we also put on make-up. It looked all waxy, under the lamps in the dressing rooms and the light that was coming through the window. And Linni looked like a puffed-up painted dead body, with eyes like burnt sunnyside-up eggs, and the Trapper looked as if she had been a hooker for years. I really had to watch closely to see how they do it, the eyeliner and all that, and my face became strange to me in an interesting way. And when I smiled at myself in the mirror, it looked like I had a slit in my face. I’m all for powder and lip gloss — Coty dark in particular — but I think it’s wrong to do your make-upin a way that your own smile doesn’t belong to your face anymore.
But on stage with the lighting it looked just right. And we were wearing gigantic hats made from cheap material, because it’s the Thirty Years War — with huge feathers. I picked a hat with a white feather, because that’s something you can reuse. After the play is taken off the program, I’ll take it home. The rest of the costume is junk. It’s all ripped, just like the things Frau Ellmann from next door wears when she goes to clean at fancy homes. That’s so the lady of the house should feel the urge to give her clothes. And when she gets home she complains about them, like she doesn’t wear that kind of crap — and uses them as rags to clean her apartment. And Frau Becker, who lives above her and whose husband makes her more babies than he makes money, she would be happy if someone gave her a ripped blouse. But no one gives her anything, because she’s unassuming and decent. I hate the Ellmanns, for more than one reason.
What a day! It was the opening night of
Wallenstein
. I got more flowers than all the other actresses combined. That’s because I had spread the word that I would be playing, and except for Hubert, all the men I had ever had a relationship with were at the theater. I had no idea there were so many! Except for them, the theater was empty. There was hardly anyone there.
Käsemann behaved very well, sending a basket filled with roses and a golden bow and in red letters: “Bravo to the young artist!”
So I’m almost a star now. And Gustav Mooskopf sent yellow chrysanthemums the size of my mother’s head after she’s had it done. And delicatessen owner Prengel brought a basket filled with sardines and tomato paste and the finest saveloy and a note that I shouldn’t tell his wife. Only over my dead body. I wouldn’t put it past that woman to use vitriol, that’s why I’m staying away from Prengel whom I’d otherwise consider. And Johnny Klotz sent the horn from the Ford he’s paying off, together with a note saying that unfortunately he once again didn’t have a cent for flowers but he invites me and Therese to the
Mazurka-Bar
after the performance. He knows a waiter there who will take a rain check. And Jakob Schneider sent three elegant boxes of chocolate with purple ribbon and a yellow georgina and a polite invitation to have dinner with him at the
Schlossdiele
. But I can’t do that because unfortunately, he’s so cross-eyed that I start to get cross-eyed myself when I sit opposite him — and that makes me look less attractive, which is something that can’t be expected of me.
And finally all I did was have a simple beer with Therese and Hermann Zimmer in a bar nearby. Because Hermann Zimmer is leaving on montage and he moved me by giving me a bouquet of asters — and he hardly hasany money and is an old friend of mine. And he’s a member of the Athlete’s Club of which I’m the honorary lady member. And all the guys from the club sent a huge laurel and fir wreath decorated with colorful silk paper ornaments that was meant for the mayor’s funeral last week, but then didn’t get picked up because they couldn’t pay
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