the moment she walked into the door until now. I looked into the depths of her eyes, but they revealed nothing. I wanted to promise her, but I didn’t know if I could keep it when she walked out that door for the second time.
“Why do I need to promise you this? Why can’t you just tell me why you feel the need to leave and we can work through it? You don’t have to leave her, Kenzie.” I didn’t know why I pleaded with her, but I had to try at least. For Grace’s sake.
“Don’t ask me to stay. Please. I’d do it if I could, but just know that I can’t stay. I’d love to be here with you to watch Grace grow into the amazing woman that I know she’ll be.” At the mention of our daughter’s future, one lone tear escaped from her eye and rolled down her cheek.
Something screamed at me to do anything to make her stay, only I knew she wouldn’t listen. This woman was more stubborn than anyone I knew. Once she made up her mind, there was no changing it. So I did the one thing I shouldn’t do. The one thing I knew could possibly be a lie.
I stood and grabbed her hand to pull her up with me. When she stood right in front of me, I placed both hands on either side of her face and made her look me in the eyes for what I was about to say.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you. What you’re doing isn’t the woman I know. I also know that you’ve made up your mind and won’t change it. I’m pissed as hell that you’re doing this to Grace. I can understand you doing this to me, but never her. Every part of me wants to beg you to stay if only for her, but that won’t work. So I’ll do the one thing I shouldn’t. I promise you those two things. I won’t hate you only because I could never hate the one person who’s given me the greatest gift any man could ever receive. I’ll tell our daughter about you and omit the bad until she’s old enough to understand it. That’s about the best I can do. Because I won’t lie to her once she’s old enough to know the truth of this situation. I just don’t get why this has to be so final. Why you can’t just come back when you handle whatever it is that’s causing you to leave. I won’t push you for answers, only because I know you’re hiding it for a reason. Just know I won’t ever forgive you for doing this. You didn’t have to see the heartbreak in Grace’s eyes or the anxiety that she’s experienced with your absence. I hope you have a great life, Kenzie.”
I looked into her eyes for a few moments longer and watched the tears threaten to escape. I let out a sigh and dropped my hands, turning around to face the wall that held all of our happy times. I couldn’t look at her any longer. I couldn’t bear to see the pain in her eyes and not show an ounce of mine. I’d barely held it together when I said my final peace. I also couldn’t watch her walk away.
She touched my shoulder causing me to flinch away, but she placed her hand back in the same spot. She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, her head resting against my thin white t-shirt.
The wetness soon followed and her grip grew tighter on my body. Only I didn’t react. Couldn’t move or attempt to console her. My anger grew with each passing second as I realized just how final this step she made was.
The girl I followed to college. The woman who freely gave her virginity to me and I cherished for the past ten years. The mother of my daughter stood behind me and broke down a little further, but I couldn’t get past the pain and the hurt. The thought of all that we were losing, what Grace was losing, was the only thing crossing my mind. The only part of this entire situation I could process was the fact that the woman who carried my daughter was walking away from her and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop her.
She sniffled a few more times and stepped back, her touch now physically gone, but the heat of it still lingered on my back, underneath my shoulder
“Why do I need to promise you this? Why can’t you just tell me why you feel the need to leave and we can work through it? You don’t have to leave her, Kenzie.” I didn’t know why I pleaded with her, but I had to try at least. For Grace’s sake.
“Don’t ask me to stay. Please. I’d do it if I could, but just know that I can’t stay. I’d love to be here with you to watch Grace grow into the amazing woman that I know she’ll be.” At the mention of our daughter’s future, one lone tear escaped from her eye and rolled down her cheek.
Something screamed at me to do anything to make her stay, only I knew she wouldn’t listen. This woman was more stubborn than anyone I knew. Once she made up her mind, there was no changing it. So I did the one thing I shouldn’t do. The one thing I knew could possibly be a lie.
I stood and grabbed her hand to pull her up with me. When she stood right in front of me, I placed both hands on either side of her face and made her look me in the eyes for what I was about to say.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you. What you’re doing isn’t the woman I know. I also know that you’ve made up your mind and won’t change it. I’m pissed as hell that you’re doing this to Grace. I can understand you doing this to me, but never her. Every part of me wants to beg you to stay if only for her, but that won’t work. So I’ll do the one thing I shouldn’t. I promise you those two things. I won’t hate you only because I could never hate the one person who’s given me the greatest gift any man could ever receive. I’ll tell our daughter about you and omit the bad until she’s old enough to understand it. That’s about the best I can do. Because I won’t lie to her once she’s old enough to know the truth of this situation. I just don’t get why this has to be so final. Why you can’t just come back when you handle whatever it is that’s causing you to leave. I won’t push you for answers, only because I know you’re hiding it for a reason. Just know I won’t ever forgive you for doing this. You didn’t have to see the heartbreak in Grace’s eyes or the anxiety that she’s experienced with your absence. I hope you have a great life, Kenzie.”
I looked into her eyes for a few moments longer and watched the tears threaten to escape. I let out a sigh and dropped my hands, turning around to face the wall that held all of our happy times. I couldn’t look at her any longer. I couldn’t bear to see the pain in her eyes and not show an ounce of mine. I’d barely held it together when I said my final peace. I also couldn’t watch her walk away.
She touched my shoulder causing me to flinch away, but she placed her hand back in the same spot. She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, her head resting against my thin white t-shirt.
The wetness soon followed and her grip grew tighter on my body. Only I didn’t react. Couldn’t move or attempt to console her. My anger grew with each passing second as I realized just how final this step she made was.
The girl I followed to college. The woman who freely gave her virginity to me and I cherished for the past ten years. The mother of my daughter stood behind me and broke down a little further, but I couldn’t get past the pain and the hurt. The thought of all that we were losing, what Grace was losing, was the only thing crossing my mind. The only part of this entire situation I could process was the fact that the woman who carried my daughter was walking away from her and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop her.
She sniffled a few more times and stepped back, her touch now physically gone, but the heat of it still lingered on my back, underneath my shoulder
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