both laughed, making the picture even more perfect than the original pose that caused me to want to capture it. I’d added it to the wall and surprised her when she got home that evening. Thinking back, we weren’t perfect, but who is these days? I didn’t want to live here which is what caused our arguments. Other than that, I loved her. Wanted to be with her. Only compromise became our biggest issue when neither of us were willing to budge on what we wanted and where we wanted to go.
The movement of her turning back around caused my thoughts to clear and take her in once again. She was always so put together and polished. Only the woman standing before me was anything but. Tears freely flowed down her ashen cheeks. Her arms were wrapped around her stomach as if something was physically hurting her. Only she stood straight up not willing to show too much weakness. It was who she was. How she handled her pain. Another reason we butted heads all the time. I had to constantly drag her pain out of her instead of her willingly sharing what was wrong with her. We hadn’t started out that way, but it’s where we ended up. We bottled up our pain and held it in until one of us exploded. Not the healthiest way to have a relationship, but somewhere along the way work and our daughter took precedence to our feelings, which caused the most grief of all.
Hesitantly, she started to move toward me. Every cell in my body screamed at me to run, but I was rooted to the spot. My eyes stayed trained on her until she stood right in front of me. My six-feet frame towered over her five-feet-four body, but she didn’t seem frightened. Instead, she squared her shoulders and looked right up at me. Never once stopping the tears that were still flowing heavily down her face. Every so often she’d hiccup and take a deep breath to hold in the amount of pain she was actually going through. With each tear that streaked her face, my heart softened a fraction more. I was still pissed beyond belief, but seeing her in pain broke my heart. I’d never forgive her for this past week, but I couldn’t pretend to be heartless anymore.
Without even thinking, I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her slender frame. The moment her head hit my chest, she broke down. Full-fledged sobs broke free which caused her knees to buckle. Only I wouldn’t let her fall no matter how mad I was. She needed this at the moment and apparently, she needed it from me.
I moved us over to the couch and sat us both down without breaking our connection. She lifted her feet to lay them across the couch, but never once did her head leave my chest. I held her tighter and ran my fingers across her scalp the way that I knew calmed her down, only this just caused her to break down more. I never wavered in my touch, I just continued to let her get the emotions out while I tried to soothe her pain. No matter what we were going through, I’d been with this woman since I was a sophomore in high school. Even though I wanted to hate her, she was the mother of my child. I knew I was contradicting myself, but I still loved her. I still cared for her. Love never disappears, it just fades. Our love may have faded over time, but that’s because we let it. We stopped caring about the relationship and settled into our routine. Instead of getting stronger over time, we allowed our love to wither away, choosing comfort and familiarity instead of fighting to keep our love alive.
There was no coming back from this and the thought tore my heart to shreds. I’d loved her for most of my life. For the past ten years she’d been mine, and now we were nothing more than two broken people floating through life.
Her sobs were almost non-existent at this point, but I continued to rub her scalp gently until they ceased. She raised her head off my chest moments later, but she didn’t look at me until she wiped her tears away with both hands.
Once she was done, she finally looked up at me. The
The movement of her turning back around caused my thoughts to clear and take her in once again. She was always so put together and polished. Only the woman standing before me was anything but. Tears freely flowed down her ashen cheeks. Her arms were wrapped around her stomach as if something was physically hurting her. Only she stood straight up not willing to show too much weakness. It was who she was. How she handled her pain. Another reason we butted heads all the time. I had to constantly drag her pain out of her instead of her willingly sharing what was wrong with her. We hadn’t started out that way, but it’s where we ended up. We bottled up our pain and held it in until one of us exploded. Not the healthiest way to have a relationship, but somewhere along the way work and our daughter took precedence to our feelings, which caused the most grief of all.
Hesitantly, she started to move toward me. Every cell in my body screamed at me to run, but I was rooted to the spot. My eyes stayed trained on her until she stood right in front of me. My six-feet frame towered over her five-feet-four body, but she didn’t seem frightened. Instead, she squared her shoulders and looked right up at me. Never once stopping the tears that were still flowing heavily down her face. Every so often she’d hiccup and take a deep breath to hold in the amount of pain she was actually going through. With each tear that streaked her face, my heart softened a fraction more. I was still pissed beyond belief, but seeing her in pain broke my heart. I’d never forgive her for this past week, but I couldn’t pretend to be heartless anymore.
Without even thinking, I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her slender frame. The moment her head hit my chest, she broke down. Full-fledged sobs broke free which caused her knees to buckle. Only I wouldn’t let her fall no matter how mad I was. She needed this at the moment and apparently, she needed it from me.
I moved us over to the couch and sat us both down without breaking our connection. She lifted her feet to lay them across the couch, but never once did her head leave my chest. I held her tighter and ran my fingers across her scalp the way that I knew calmed her down, only this just caused her to break down more. I never wavered in my touch, I just continued to let her get the emotions out while I tried to soothe her pain. No matter what we were going through, I’d been with this woman since I was a sophomore in high school. Even though I wanted to hate her, she was the mother of my child. I knew I was contradicting myself, but I still loved her. I still cared for her. Love never disappears, it just fades. Our love may have faded over time, but that’s because we let it. We stopped caring about the relationship and settled into our routine. Instead of getting stronger over time, we allowed our love to wither away, choosing comfort and familiarity instead of fighting to keep our love alive.
There was no coming back from this and the thought tore my heart to shreds. I’d loved her for most of my life. For the past ten years she’d been mine, and now we were nothing more than two broken people floating through life.
Her sobs were almost non-existent at this point, but I continued to rub her scalp gently until they ceased. She raised her head off my chest moments later, but she didn’t look at me until she wiped her tears away with both hands.
Once she was done, she finally looked up at me. The
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