Finding Amy by Sharon Poppen

never be normal do you?”
    “I just don’t know.  What I suggest is that you take her to a doctor who specializes in this sort of thing.  I’ve done all I can with her, but I’m just a county doctor.  I think she realizes this too.  She hasn’t been here for our last two appointments and she was very distant and even more uncommunicative in the last few sessions we did have.  I tried to speak with her mother last time she was here, but she was quite cool and they left as fast as they could.”
    I began to see red.  I leaned toward the doctor.  “Do you mean her mother has been coming with her to this office?”
    “Yes.  Of course she stays out in the waiting room during the sessions, but yes she has been coming with Amy for the past few weeks.”
    I stood and walked to the window.  “Damn!  She promised to keep this a secret from her mother.”
    The doctor stood up, came to stand beside me and laid his hand on my shoulder.  “Listen to me Danny.  She’ll never be able to keep anything from her mother.  She is completely dominated by the woman.  It’s too bad her father didn’t step in more or should I say at all.”
    I left the office in a daze barely hearing the doctor caution me about taking her to a specialist and trying to keep her away from her mother.  I drove to the edge of town and headed toward the ranch.  I needed to talk to my family.  I needed help, advice.  The thought of facing the family hit me hard.  They had tried to get me to take things slower, to think through what I was doing.  I knew they’d be supportive, but I hated to show myself to be such a fool.  I pulled the pickup over and parked.  I need to think before I did anything rash.
    Eventually, I headed for a bar out on the highway and downed more than a few beers while my situation kept playing itself out in my increasingly fuzzy mind.  I had been fair.  I had kept my part of the bargain.  She had reneged.  The more I drank, the sorrier I felt for myself.  Here I was married three months or better and I still hadn’t touched my wife.  I had been patient.  Hell, I was tired of being patient.  She was my wife and I intended for her to realize it.  I left the bar and headed home fueled with all my bottled courage and indignation.
     
    *****
     
    Maybe if I could live that day over and do things differently, things might have eventually turned out all right for Amy and I.  But, I’ll never know and I’ve had to live with what I did for all these years.
    It was a little after nine when I pulled into the driveway.  I entered the kitchen staggering and swaggering.
    “Amy!  Where the hell are you?”
    “In here.”  Her voice echoed down the hall from the bedroom.
    Perfect, I thought.  I wore a stupid smirk and was trying to form some sarcastic remarks into a coherent train of thought.  The beer was kicking in to bolster my self-pity and bravado.  She was sitting in front of her vanity table with her terry robe pulled lightly about her.  Her back was to me, but I could see her reflection in the mirror.  My heart cried.  She was so goddamn beautiful.
    “Danny, where have you been?  I was so worried.  I just finished my bath and you scared me the way you stormed into the house.”  She turned to me.  “I’m glad it was you and not some prowler.  I was just about to call your parents to see if they knew where ...”  The expression on her face was changing from worry to fear.  “What’s wrong with you?  You look so strange.  Are you alright?”
    I leaned on the doorjamb and leered.  “Oh yeah, baby.  I’m just fine.  Just fine.  A little stupid maybe, but just fine.”
    “Whatever are you talking about?”  She stood up.  “Have you been drinking?  I don’t understand.  You’re scaring me.”
    “Am I?  Well, baby, don’t be scared.  I’m not going to act strange anymore.   I’ve been acting strange for the past few months, but not anymore.  No more waiting.  No more