gold, he said, "Ah! Here's Ariadne now."
As she proceeded slowly across the room, Bogdanovic said, "I notice there are quite a few women in attendance. When my boss took me to a Baker Street Irregulars dinner I was told that women were banned because Sherlock Holmes distrusted women. I gather Nero Wolfe didn't share Holmes's views on the opposite sex."
"He regarded them as astonishing and successful animals," Simmons replied, "that for reasons of convenience he chose to regard with indifference."
Maggie Dane lightly touched Bogdanovic's shoulder. "Archie was quite the opposite."
"The more I hear about Archie," Bogdanovic said, rising to greet Ariadne Stamos as she slipped as softly as a breeze into the chair next to her husband, "the more I like him."
Introduced to him, Ariadne Stamos greeted him flawlessly in his father's native language. "Kokosi."
He responded, "Tasam dobro tebe."
"Very cosmopolitan," said Pendelton. "Too bad no one else at the table knows what it means, Sergeant."
"She said, 'Hi,' and I basically said, 'How you doin'?' "
"English from now on, please. I hate feeling left out."
A waiter set a plate of oysters before Henry. "I've always speculated that the first person to eat one of these things at the dawn of history must have been very hungry," she said as she looked down. "They really are disgusting to look at. But I do love them. So I say thanks to that unsung, heroic man."
"Maybe it was a hungry woman," said Bogdanovic.
"More than likely." Dane laughed. "No matter how hungry my former husband was, it never occurred to him to open the fridge."
"Now I understand why the greatest poisoners in history were women. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, it was also an easy way to get rid of him."
"Only because the poor dears have always been the ones who were expected to do the cleaning," interjected Henry. "Knives and guns leave all those puddles of blood to mop up."
"If you wanted to bump me off at this banquet," said Bogdanovic, "how could you be sure that I'd be the one who got the poison? We're all eating the same dishes. How could you be certain the waiter delivered a particular plate?"
Henry smiled. "The poison would go into your food at the table. In your case, I'd have slipped it into your oysters while your attention was diverted by Ariadne's spectacular arrival."
"How could you count on her coming in after the rest of us?"
"Ariadne is famous for being late. Being a gentleman, you'd naturally stand to greet her."
"But how could you know in advance I'd be a gentleman?"
"If you proved not to be, the poison would go into some other dish. Sooner or later your attention would be diverted by someone or something. Not because you're a man. You are also a detective. Looking around you for anything suspicious or out of the ordinary is ingrained by nature and your training. I could never get close enough to shoot or stab you. Nor the man you are obviously here to guard. So you see, Sergeant Bogdanovic, you would be easy to poison. Child's play. Dare I say 'girl's' play?"
As the oyster plates were replaced with the terrapin soup, Bogdanovic turned to the waiter and held up a hand. "Excuse me, but you can take mine away. I'd feel guilty eating a turtle."
"It's mock, sir. Made from calf s liver."
Bogdanovic winced. "I still pass."
"I wouldn't give that soup to anyone else, waiter," Henry said with a devilish giggle. "There's poison in it."
Blushing, Bogdanovic muttered, "It's all right, waiter. The lady's making a joke. And her point."
When those who ate the soup were finished, Wiggins stood at the podium.
"Attention, please, the toast to Fritz Brenner will be given by Oscar Pendelton. Let's hope it will be in the form of one of the charming and witty limericks with which Oscar regales us year after year."
As a hush enveloped the room for the first time, Bogdanovic surmised that a treat lay in store.
Rising, Pendelton perched half-moon reading glasses on his nose then
As she proceeded slowly across the room, Bogdanovic said, "I notice there are quite a few women in attendance. When my boss took me to a Baker Street Irregulars dinner I was told that women were banned because Sherlock Holmes distrusted women. I gather Nero Wolfe didn't share Holmes's views on the opposite sex."
"He regarded them as astonishing and successful animals," Simmons replied, "that for reasons of convenience he chose to regard with indifference."
Maggie Dane lightly touched Bogdanovic's shoulder. "Archie was quite the opposite."
"The more I hear about Archie," Bogdanovic said, rising to greet Ariadne Stamos as she slipped as softly as a breeze into the chair next to her husband, "the more I like him."
Introduced to him, Ariadne Stamos greeted him flawlessly in his father's native language. "Kokosi."
He responded, "Tasam dobro tebe."
"Very cosmopolitan," said Pendelton. "Too bad no one else at the table knows what it means, Sergeant."
"She said, 'Hi,' and I basically said, 'How you doin'?' "
"English from now on, please. I hate feeling left out."
A waiter set a plate of oysters before Henry. "I've always speculated that the first person to eat one of these things at the dawn of history must have been very hungry," she said as she looked down. "They really are disgusting to look at. But I do love them. So I say thanks to that unsung, heroic man."
"Maybe it was a hungry woman," said Bogdanovic.
"More than likely." Dane laughed. "No matter how hungry my former husband was, it never occurred to him to open the fridge."
"Now I understand why the greatest poisoners in history were women. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, it was also an easy way to get rid of him."
"Only because the poor dears have always been the ones who were expected to do the cleaning," interjected Henry. "Knives and guns leave all those puddles of blood to mop up."
"If you wanted to bump me off at this banquet," said Bogdanovic, "how could you be sure that I'd be the one who got the poison? We're all eating the same dishes. How could you be certain the waiter delivered a particular plate?"
Henry smiled. "The poison would go into your food at the table. In your case, I'd have slipped it into your oysters while your attention was diverted by Ariadne's spectacular arrival."
"How could you count on her coming in after the rest of us?"
"Ariadne is famous for being late. Being a gentleman, you'd naturally stand to greet her."
"But how could you know in advance I'd be a gentleman?"
"If you proved not to be, the poison would go into some other dish. Sooner or later your attention would be diverted by someone or something. Not because you're a man. You are also a detective. Looking around you for anything suspicious or out of the ordinary is ingrained by nature and your training. I could never get close enough to shoot or stab you. Nor the man you are obviously here to guard. So you see, Sergeant Bogdanovic, you would be easy to poison. Child's play. Dare I say 'girl's' play?"
As the oyster plates were replaced with the terrapin soup, Bogdanovic turned to the waiter and held up a hand. "Excuse me, but you can take mine away. I'd feel guilty eating a turtle."
"It's mock, sir. Made from calf s liver."
Bogdanovic winced. "I still pass."
"I wouldn't give that soup to anyone else, waiter," Henry said with a devilish giggle. "There's poison in it."
Blushing, Bogdanovic muttered, "It's all right, waiter. The lady's making a joke. And her point."
When those who ate the soup were finished, Wiggins stood at the podium.
"Attention, please, the toast to Fritz Brenner will be given by Oscar Pendelton. Let's hope it will be in the form of one of the charming and witty limericks with which Oscar regales us year after year."
As a hush enveloped the room for the first time, Bogdanovic surmised that a treat lay in store.
Rising, Pendelton perched half-moon reading glasses on his nose then
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