healing powers.
There was no such place as Azeroth when we were little. If we wanted to play a fantasy game we had to use sticks for swords and run round on pretend horses. The sticks really hurt.
We looked stupid, but we did get lots of fresh air.
Money has spoiled soccer. Players now spend more time advertising hair products than they do training.
I felt I’d mastered Level One of Being a Dad. Now I had to get myself a daughter.
You’ll Like It When You Get There
The first person I thought of to be my daughter was obviously Florida. After all, she already had extensive pretending-to-be-Liam’s-daughter experience and had gained lots of pretending-to-be-Liam’s-daughter skills.
On the other hand, her main pretending-to-be-Liam’s-daughter experience was me nearly putting her in incredible danger during that whole Porsche incident. So I knew I’d probably need to coax her slightly.
When I tried talking to her in school she either totally blanked me (but then she always did blank me in school) or hissed at me like an angry cobra. When I tried phoning her—calls from my number were barred. When I tried emailing and MSNing her, messages bounced back. I tried sitting by the Strand water fountain. She never came by. I think I saw her once, but she saw me first and ducked inside the Leaning Tower of Pizza.
That’s okay. If you need new equipment for a quest, you have to work for it. You have to dig for gold or grind away, fighting trolls and looting their possessions. You have to keep going until you’ve got what you need.
The one place where Florida had to talk to me was Little Stars. That Saturday Lisa made us get into pairs—a boy and a girl—and asked us to be father and daughter. Florida tried to avoid me but I came up behind her and said, “You could be Bryce Dallas Howard, star of Spider-Man 3 . And I’ll be your father, Ron Howard, director of Apollo 13 and The Da Vinci Code. ”
“Which one was she in Spider-Man 3 ?”
“She’s the girl in Dr. Connor’s quantum-mechanics class who falls in love with him and later on he saves her from a falling crane. That’s in the film. Originally, she went to the same school as him and she was his first love and she dies when Green Goblin throws her off the bridge. But that was just in the comics.”
“I remember. She was blond. And her dad is famous too?”
She didn’t know many celebrity father-daughter combinations and she didn’t want to let this one go.
Lisa was saying, “And Daddy’s got his daughter a treat. It’s up to you what the treat is. But the daughter really likes it. I want to see happy acting, and surprised acting, and alsotwo people who really know each other type of acting. And for the boys, some older-person acting—but don’t overdo it. No old-man acting. You don’t have to be old old to be a dad.”
As soon as we started working on it Florida said, “Okay. So you’re my famous film-director dad and the surprise is a part in your new film.”
“I’m the dad. It’s up to me what the surprise is.”
Straightaway she was suspicious. “What is it then?”
“You’ll see.”
When it was our turn, it went like this:
Florida: Hi, Dad, how were things at the film set today?
Me: Pretty neat, I guess, Bryce. I have a present for you.
Florida: Oh Dad, you shouldn’t have. Wait, I know what it is—a part in your new film.
Me: No.
Florida: But you said—
Me: Well, it’s not that. It’s nicer than that.
Florida: Remember I earned loads of money by being in Spider-Man 3, so I have got practically everything a girl could want.
Me: It’s a little holiday—to a theme park—just the two of us.
Florida looks puzzled.
Me: It’s a brand-new theme park. One of the rides is going to be the Best Ride in the World and we’ve got an invitation. [Adding in a whisper] This is real. Honest. I won a competition.
An extremely long pause. After a while Lisa said, “Is that it?”
Florida [stops looking puzzled and looks
There was no such place as Azeroth when we were little. If we wanted to play a fantasy game we had to use sticks for swords and run round on pretend horses. The sticks really hurt.
We looked stupid, but we did get lots of fresh air.
Money has spoiled soccer. Players now spend more time advertising hair products than they do training.
I felt I’d mastered Level One of Being a Dad. Now I had to get myself a daughter.
You’ll Like It When You Get There
The first person I thought of to be my daughter was obviously Florida. After all, she already had extensive pretending-to-be-Liam’s-daughter experience and had gained lots of pretending-to-be-Liam’s-daughter skills.
On the other hand, her main pretending-to-be-Liam’s-daughter experience was me nearly putting her in incredible danger during that whole Porsche incident. So I knew I’d probably need to coax her slightly.
When I tried talking to her in school she either totally blanked me (but then she always did blank me in school) or hissed at me like an angry cobra. When I tried phoning her—calls from my number were barred. When I tried emailing and MSNing her, messages bounced back. I tried sitting by the Strand water fountain. She never came by. I think I saw her once, but she saw me first and ducked inside the Leaning Tower of Pizza.
That’s okay. If you need new equipment for a quest, you have to work for it. You have to dig for gold or grind away, fighting trolls and looting their possessions. You have to keep going until you’ve got what you need.
The one place where Florida had to talk to me was Little Stars. That Saturday Lisa made us get into pairs—a boy and a girl—and asked us to be father and daughter. Florida tried to avoid me but I came up behind her and said, “You could be Bryce Dallas Howard, star of Spider-Man 3 . And I’ll be your father, Ron Howard, director of Apollo 13 and The Da Vinci Code. ”
“Which one was she in Spider-Man 3 ?”
“She’s the girl in Dr. Connor’s quantum-mechanics class who falls in love with him and later on he saves her from a falling crane. That’s in the film. Originally, she went to the same school as him and she was his first love and she dies when Green Goblin throws her off the bridge. But that was just in the comics.”
“I remember. She was blond. And her dad is famous too?”
She didn’t know many celebrity father-daughter combinations and she didn’t want to let this one go.
Lisa was saying, “And Daddy’s got his daughter a treat. It’s up to you what the treat is. But the daughter really likes it. I want to see happy acting, and surprised acting, and alsotwo people who really know each other type of acting. And for the boys, some older-person acting—but don’t overdo it. No old-man acting. You don’t have to be old old to be a dad.”
As soon as we started working on it Florida said, “Okay. So you’re my famous film-director dad and the surprise is a part in your new film.”
“I’m the dad. It’s up to me what the surprise is.”
Straightaway she was suspicious. “What is it then?”
“You’ll see.”
When it was our turn, it went like this:
Florida: Hi, Dad, how were things at the film set today?
Me: Pretty neat, I guess, Bryce. I have a present for you.
Florida: Oh Dad, you shouldn’t have. Wait, I know what it is—a part in your new film.
Me: No.
Florida: But you said—
Me: Well, it’s not that. It’s nicer than that.
Florida: Remember I earned loads of money by being in Spider-Man 3, so I have got practically everything a girl could want.
Me: It’s a little holiday—to a theme park—just the two of us.
Florida looks puzzled.
Me: It’s a brand-new theme park. One of the rides is going to be the Best Ride in the World and we’ve got an invitation. [Adding in a whisper] This is real. Honest. I won a competition.
An extremely long pause. After a while Lisa said, “Is that it?”
Florida [stops looking puzzled and looks
Similar Books
