back to sleep and find it, but the persistent knocking on the front door urged me out of bed.
A zing of panic shot through me thinking it might be Derek. My car was in the driveway, so it would be logical that one of the Bast’s would come over to find out what was going on while my parents were gone.
I pulled on my jersey dress over my head, grabbed my glasses off the nightstand and finger combed my hair on the way to the door. Through the sidelight, I saw him standing on my porch. The empty, hollowed-out feeling surrounding me since waking from my dream disappeared.
When I opened the door, he looked me up and down. “How did I know you owned a Prius?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Lucky guess?”
“Why aren’t you ready? It’s almost ten.” He tossed me a colorful folded towel.
“Okay. I’ll play. Ready for what?”
“Bess, it’s Saturday. What do we do on Saturday?”
Images of Derek at ten, twelve, fourteen, swam in front of my eyes. Every Saturday morning he stood on my porch waiting for me and we’d walk to the beach. Overwhelmed, I held up a finger. “I just need a minute,” I stammered, closing the door in his face.
Leaning back against it, I pressed my hand to my chest. My heart was about to explode. Once we’d entered high school and Derek’s attention drifted toward the more popular—and more developed—girls, our Saturday trips to the beach stopped. Or, mine did. He went with his group of guy friends to hit on girls. I stayed home and tried to pretend it didn’t bother me. To be fair, I could’ve tried harder to find girls to hang out with, but that didn’t happen until college.
A knock reverberated beside my head. I turned and opened the door to his amused grin. “I gave you two minutes. Ready now?”
I thought I might jump out of my skin with anxiety, but there was no part of me urging me to say no. “I’ll run and put a bathing suit on.”
“I’d say it was optional, but if the prospect of eating burgers scared you off, that would make you slam the door in my face.” He lowered onto the porch step and sat down. “I’ll wait here.”
I couldn’t do anything but nod, wondering how this day would progress. Wondering what he expected to happen between us.
Six
Derek
W hen I woke this morning and joined my parents for breakfast, Mom said there was a Prius in the Halprin’s driveway. Who else could it be but Bess? Since her parents were in Europe, there was only one reason she’d be there. Me.
Bess came to find me.
I decided I’d find her first and by the look on her face, I shocked the shit out of her.
I leaned back against the porch railing, smiling to myself. Some of my favorite memories from growing up were the Saturday morning walks to the beach with Bess. She’d talk about things that were interesting, like how the female praying mantis bit the head off of the male when they were done mating—something I’d have to watch out for if I ever got her into bed, considering our love/hate relationship.
The guys always talked about sports and boobs and when we got older, partying and banging chicks. Not that I minded. I mean, I joined in, but Bess made me think and she made me laugh. She was different. Not odd, different. Bess different.
Being back in Santa Cruz brought a new perspective on where I was headed and what I wanted. Last night I started writing a new song and today was the day for setting things straight with Bess. She wasn’t going to push me away. I wouldn’t go away, so she was shit out of luck if she wanted me to.
The front door opened and she stepped out wearing a beach cover-up and holding the towel I gave her. Her bag was slung over her shoulder. I took the towel from her and tucked it under my arm with mine. “Want me to carry your bag?”
“No, thanks.” She jogged down the few steps onto the sidewalk. Her hand shook as it glided down the railing. I wanted to grab it and hold it, assure her that today we’d get things right.
The
A zing of panic shot through me thinking it might be Derek. My car was in the driveway, so it would be logical that one of the Bast’s would come over to find out what was going on while my parents were gone.
I pulled on my jersey dress over my head, grabbed my glasses off the nightstand and finger combed my hair on the way to the door. Through the sidelight, I saw him standing on my porch. The empty, hollowed-out feeling surrounding me since waking from my dream disappeared.
When I opened the door, he looked me up and down. “How did I know you owned a Prius?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Lucky guess?”
“Why aren’t you ready? It’s almost ten.” He tossed me a colorful folded towel.
“Okay. I’ll play. Ready for what?”
“Bess, it’s Saturday. What do we do on Saturday?”
Images of Derek at ten, twelve, fourteen, swam in front of my eyes. Every Saturday morning he stood on my porch waiting for me and we’d walk to the beach. Overwhelmed, I held up a finger. “I just need a minute,” I stammered, closing the door in his face.
Leaning back against it, I pressed my hand to my chest. My heart was about to explode. Once we’d entered high school and Derek’s attention drifted toward the more popular—and more developed—girls, our Saturday trips to the beach stopped. Or, mine did. He went with his group of guy friends to hit on girls. I stayed home and tried to pretend it didn’t bother me. To be fair, I could’ve tried harder to find girls to hang out with, but that didn’t happen until college.
A knock reverberated beside my head. I turned and opened the door to his amused grin. “I gave you two minutes. Ready now?”
I thought I might jump out of my skin with anxiety, but there was no part of me urging me to say no. “I’ll run and put a bathing suit on.”
“I’d say it was optional, but if the prospect of eating burgers scared you off, that would make you slam the door in my face.” He lowered onto the porch step and sat down. “I’ll wait here.”
I couldn’t do anything but nod, wondering how this day would progress. Wondering what he expected to happen between us.
Six
Derek
W hen I woke this morning and joined my parents for breakfast, Mom said there was a Prius in the Halprin’s driveway. Who else could it be but Bess? Since her parents were in Europe, there was only one reason she’d be there. Me.
Bess came to find me.
I decided I’d find her first and by the look on her face, I shocked the shit out of her.
I leaned back against the porch railing, smiling to myself. Some of my favorite memories from growing up were the Saturday morning walks to the beach with Bess. She’d talk about things that were interesting, like how the female praying mantis bit the head off of the male when they were done mating—something I’d have to watch out for if I ever got her into bed, considering our love/hate relationship.
The guys always talked about sports and boobs and when we got older, partying and banging chicks. Not that I minded. I mean, I joined in, but Bess made me think and she made me laugh. She was different. Not odd, different. Bess different.
Being back in Santa Cruz brought a new perspective on where I was headed and what I wanted. Last night I started writing a new song and today was the day for setting things straight with Bess. She wasn’t going to push me away. I wouldn’t go away, so she was shit out of luck if she wanted me to.
The front door opened and she stepped out wearing a beach cover-up and holding the towel I gave her. Her bag was slung over her shoulder. I took the towel from her and tucked it under my arm with mine. “Want me to carry your bag?”
“No, thanks.” She jogged down the few steps onto the sidewalk. Her hand shook as it glided down the railing. I wanted to grab it and hold it, assure her that today we’d get things right.
The
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