Covet Not by Arden Aoide

closer, and searched for her hurt hand, kissing her fingers. “Jesus,
Shula.”
    “Our
mothers were best friends. She said that she used to help teach your older
brothers while your mom took care of you. Mama must have seen something, or
found something out from your mother, but I don't know what. I asked Father. He
said it would make me wish I was dead.” Shula sniffled, and let Jared kiss her
fingers some more.
    “He's
had two wives die. One in childbirth and one by suicide. We would go through a
handful of help every year. I'd see him wrap his hand around Anna's neck and
squeeze, whispering in her ear, when he didn't see me. He even threatened me at
the wedding that if I didn't marry you, he would, and that you would wind up
like Anna.” Jared rested his cheek against the side of the bed. “I didn't want
him to know I was so eager.”
    She
began to cry again.
    “Shh.
No please. Please stop. I'm sorry.” He murmured against her fingertips.
    “In
my bag, I have a cigarette case with my mother's ashes and a razor blade. I was
supposed to make a complete mess all over your father's bed. I was supposed to
be dead tonight.”
    “Oh
God, no.” He rose and kissed the tears from her cheeks. “No, no, no.”
    “I
really am very relieved that I'm not dead,” she sniffled.
    Jared
laughed incredulously against her face. “I am very relieved you're not dead as
well.” He kissed her close to her mouth, and she moved her face.
    The
kiss was sweet and lingering and very much needed at that moment. He ended it
with much hesitation. “I'm so glad I came today.”
    Shula
backed her head up, so that she could look at him. “Why did you come?”
    “I
wanted to let you know somehow that I would do everything in my power to save
you from him, but you managed to save yourself.” He pressed a kiss to her mouth
again.
    “It
never occurred to me that I'd get out of it. Looking back at the last few days
it almost seems so unnecessarily dramatic, and I wonder if I was doing this
more to annoy your father, or to get back at mine.”
    Jared
hadn't considered that. How betrayed Shula must feel. He was suddenly ashamed
by how fearful he'd been. He had a wife now. It was his job to protect
her. She wouldn't have to be trapped in the corner scared any longer. “I'm
sorry that I gave in earlier. That I was more worried about what he might do
than what would be best for you, for us . I hope you can forgive me.”
    “I'm
fine. My fingers barely hurt anymore.” She was telling the truth.
    “What
about everything else? I didn't see any blood, and you didn't seem to be in any
pain, but it's not for me to guess.”
    “Ah.
Well.” She took a deep breath. This was mortifying, but she found that she
didn't want him to doubt that he was truly her first time. Well, of the alive
sort. “There was a time before, when so much importance was placed on my
purity. It made me angry. That I was only worth that first time. I didn't want
anyone to...it was the one thing I could control, so...I took care of it
myself.” She closed her eyes, more embarrassed than she thought she would be.
    Jared
didn't understand what she meant at first. Took care of it herself? Oh. “How?”
It was light enough in the room to see her blush.
    “My
fingers at first.” She wasn't going to go through the entire list of
masturbation experiments. “I then moved to cucumbers and squash.” Shula looked
at him, and he seemed to be intrigued. “Which I then used for salad. I might've
hated my father for longer than I thought.”
    Jared
laughed. “What have I gotten myself into?”

 
    VII
     
     
    Shula looked
around the tiny cottage and frowned. When you've planned your death, but wake
up the next morning in your new home after an enlightening evening with your
new husband...your equilibrium tends to be a bit fucked.
    She
could hear hammering in the distance, so she knew he was occupied. She poked
around the house, opening the sanded wooden cabinets, with their