was in love with me. And I could trust him. And the whole mess with Tyson…
It’s all so goddamn complicated. Why does my life have to be like this? Why did I listen to my dad? Why did I come back here? I don’t know what the fuck I am doing anymore. I don’t know what is happening anymore.
I sit now on the bed. The bottom of my chin gets cold as the barrel presses into it. The gun isn’t warm, yet. My hands go over the grip, tighter. I close my eyes.
I just close my eyes and sit here, sinking.
Just sit here thinking. What a mess my life has become. Wetness covers both of my cheeks and droplets run down my neck. I feel the trigger.
I hear a door in the distance. I don’t move. I hear footsteps. I don’t look.
I hear a voice. Barely audible.
I hear it again. Louder now.
“ KASEY, NO ! Oh Kase, please put it down. DON’T .”
I open my eyes and Tyson is coming closer. His eyes are redder than I’ve ever seen them and tears are streaming down his cheeks as well. He crouches in front of me and puts his hands on my knees.
“Kasey, don’t do it. Oh please don’t do it. Just put it down.”
I feel like I have some control for once in my life. This is going to happen my way. It feels good. But something inside of me knows this isn’t right. I start to move the gun to the side and down. I feel an involuntary tug and want to move the barrel towards him, but don’t. I can’t do that either.
I lay the gun down next to me and collapse. I fall forward into Tyson and he catches me softly.
“Oh Kasey, I’m so glad you are okay. Oh my god. I don’t know how I could have lived. I would have taken that gun up right after you, I would have.”
I see that he has already pushed the gun away from me and I know that it is over. I’m safe again and in his embrace. I am flooded with emotions. So self-deprecating, but so good too. It’s over, I tell myself. It’s over now . No more fight. No more Juliet .
“We’re going to be alright Kasey,” he says lifting my chin. His hands reach up behind my neck, lift my head further and softly his thumbs wipe the sides of my eyes. Then my cheeks. I throw my arms around his neck and pull myself in tight. I don’t have any intentions of ever letting go again.
“I’m sorry,” I say in his ear, “I’m so sorry Tyson. I’m damaged goods. You can’t love me. You can’t possibly…”
I look up and into his eyes. I see them burning. Burning with determination.
“No, Kase,” he responds, “We’ll take it slow now…You hurt me back there… You put me in a bad place for a little while, but I knew… I just… I just had a good feeling- a spectacular feeling- from the moment I first saw you. I’ve never looked back and I won’t now. You and I are going to be alright, Kasey Cross… We’re going to be alright.”
My heart races like never before and I kiss him with everything I have.
CHAPTER 11
Nicky is slumped back in the chair with a blanket pulled over her tightly. She is sleeping quietly amongst all the beeping and chirping. And beeping and chirping. There are dozens of machines hooked up to Marcus and he has a large tube coming out of his mouth. His head and face are covered with bandages. He’s hardly recognizable in this bed.
I walk to Nicky and grab her arm gently.
“Hey Nick. We’re here.”
“Oh Kasey,” she says as she wakes, “I’m so glad to see you.”
“Hey Nick,” Tyson says. “Sorry about Marcus.”
“Thanks Tyson. Glad you are here too. We’re all the people Marcus would want here.” His parents are coming, but they were off in Hawaii on vacation so it’s going to be a while before they get here. They had a flight today, but it was canceled because of the bad weather they’ve been having out there. Something about some major flooding.”
“Yeah, there have been some major typhoons lately. I’ve seen it on the weather reports the last few days. Lots of damage and many deaths. At least they are okay, right?” Tyson
It’s all so goddamn complicated. Why does my life have to be like this? Why did I listen to my dad? Why did I come back here? I don’t know what the fuck I am doing anymore. I don’t know what is happening anymore.
I sit now on the bed. The bottom of my chin gets cold as the barrel presses into it. The gun isn’t warm, yet. My hands go over the grip, tighter. I close my eyes.
I just close my eyes and sit here, sinking.
Just sit here thinking. What a mess my life has become. Wetness covers both of my cheeks and droplets run down my neck. I feel the trigger.
I hear a door in the distance. I don’t move. I hear footsteps. I don’t look.
I hear a voice. Barely audible.
I hear it again. Louder now.
“ KASEY, NO ! Oh Kase, please put it down. DON’T .”
I open my eyes and Tyson is coming closer. His eyes are redder than I’ve ever seen them and tears are streaming down his cheeks as well. He crouches in front of me and puts his hands on my knees.
“Kasey, don’t do it. Oh please don’t do it. Just put it down.”
I feel like I have some control for once in my life. This is going to happen my way. It feels good. But something inside of me knows this isn’t right. I start to move the gun to the side and down. I feel an involuntary tug and want to move the barrel towards him, but don’t. I can’t do that either.
I lay the gun down next to me and collapse. I fall forward into Tyson and he catches me softly.
“Oh Kasey, I’m so glad you are okay. Oh my god. I don’t know how I could have lived. I would have taken that gun up right after you, I would have.”
I see that he has already pushed the gun away from me and I know that it is over. I’m safe again and in his embrace. I am flooded with emotions. So self-deprecating, but so good too. It’s over, I tell myself. It’s over now . No more fight. No more Juliet .
“We’re going to be alright Kasey,” he says lifting my chin. His hands reach up behind my neck, lift my head further and softly his thumbs wipe the sides of my eyes. Then my cheeks. I throw my arms around his neck and pull myself in tight. I don’t have any intentions of ever letting go again.
“I’m sorry,” I say in his ear, “I’m so sorry Tyson. I’m damaged goods. You can’t love me. You can’t possibly…”
I look up and into his eyes. I see them burning. Burning with determination.
“No, Kase,” he responds, “We’ll take it slow now…You hurt me back there… You put me in a bad place for a little while, but I knew… I just… I just had a good feeling- a spectacular feeling- from the moment I first saw you. I’ve never looked back and I won’t now. You and I are going to be alright, Kasey Cross… We’re going to be alright.”
My heart races like never before and I kiss him with everything I have.
CHAPTER 11
Nicky is slumped back in the chair with a blanket pulled over her tightly. She is sleeping quietly amongst all the beeping and chirping. And beeping and chirping. There are dozens of machines hooked up to Marcus and he has a large tube coming out of his mouth. His head and face are covered with bandages. He’s hardly recognizable in this bed.
I walk to Nicky and grab her arm gently.
“Hey Nick. We’re here.”
“Oh Kasey,” she says as she wakes, “I’m so glad to see you.”
“Hey Nick,” Tyson says. “Sorry about Marcus.”
“Thanks Tyson. Glad you are here too. We’re all the people Marcus would want here.” His parents are coming, but they were off in Hawaii on vacation so it’s going to be a while before they get here. They had a flight today, but it was canceled because of the bad weather they’ve been having out there. Something about some major flooding.”
“Yeah, there have been some major typhoons lately. I’ve seen it on the weather reports the last few days. Lots of damage and many deaths. At least they are okay, right?” Tyson
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