Crow Lake by Mary Lawson

“Anyway, I’m really sorry.”
    We stood for a minute more, and then Marie looked at Bo and me and smiled vaguely.
    “Well, bye,” she said.
    We walked on. I thought, What’s going to happen? Is something else going to happen? What didn’t he know yet? What’s going to happen? Something so bad that he wouldn’t talk about it in front of me.
    We came to the path which led from the tracks down into the woods. Once we were there, protected by the dark privacy of the trees, I tried to ask him. I opened my mouth, but the need not to know was greater than the need to know, and I couldn’t say anything. Then the paralysis of my brain affected my feet and I came to a halt. Matt turned and looked at me.
    “Got something in your shoe?”
    I said, “What did she mean?” and my breath came out in little jerks.
    “Who?”
    “Marie. When she asked you what was going to happen. What did she mean?”
    He didn’t reply for a minute. Bo was examining his hair, lifting long strands of it straight out from his head and crooning over it. His shirt was as wet and pond-weedy as she was.
    I said, “What did she—” and then all at once I was crying, standing there, straight and still with my arms at my sides. Matt put Bo down and knelt and took my shoulders.
    “Katie! Katie, what is it?”
    “What did she mean? What’s going to happen? What did she mean?”
    “Katie, it’s going to be all right. We’ll be looked after. Aunt Annie is arranging it.”
    “Then what did she mean? You said you didn’t know yet. What don’t you know?”
    He took a deep breath, then let it out. “The thing is, Katie, we won’t be able to stay here. We’ll have to go and live with the family.”
    “Isn’t Aunt Annie coming to live with us?”
    “No. She can’t. She has her parents to look after, and she works on the farm. She’s too busy.”
    “Who then? Who are we going to?”
    “I don’t know yet. That’s what I don’t know. But whoever it is, it will be all right. They’ll be nice. The whole family is nice.”
    “I want to live here. I don’t want to leave here. I want Luke and you to look after us. Why can’t Luke and you look after us?”
    “It costs money to look after people, Kate. We wouldn’t have any money to live on. Look, you mustn’t worry. It’ll be all right. That’s why Aunt Annie is here. To arrange things. It’ll be all right. You’ll see.”
    Luke and Aunt Annie got back from town just after five. Aunt Annie asked us to come and sit down in the living room, which we did, all but Luke, who stood looking out of the window at the lake. Aunt Annie sat very straight in her chair and told us the following:
    That our father had left some money, but not much.
    That from the lawyer’s office she had made a number of phone calls to the rest of the family, and it had been agreed that Luke should go to teachers’ college as planned. It would use up most of the money, but everyone felt that it was what our parents would have wished.
    That when it came to the rest of us … here Aunt Annie, for all her straight back, had some difficulty. She looked away, then looked back, her eyes skating over Matt and me and finally coming to rest on Bo … when it came to the rest of us, unfortunately none of the various branches of the family was in a position to take on three extra children. Indeed, financial circumstances were such that none of them could afford to take on even two. Therefore, in order to keep at least Bo and me together, it had been decided that if Matt were willing, he would go back with her to the farm. He would be an asset there, and the money he earned would go toward supporting his sisters. Luke, it was hoped, would be able to contribute as soon as he had qualified and found a job. In the meantime, Matt’s earnings, plus contributions from the rest of the family, would enable Aunt Emily and Uncle Ian, who lived in Rivière-du-Loup and who had four children of their own, to take in Bo and me.

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