Curtain Call by Liz Botts Page B

Could she be right? Could things actually get worse than they were now?
    When I had made the decision that I needed a break to clear my head, find myself again, things had seemed so straightforward. Sex had complicated things between Josh and me. I didn’t recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror. So if we stopped having sex, I could start dealing with myself again.
    And everything I had said to her was the truth. I really wished we had waited until we were married. In my mind’s eye, I could still see the wedding night I had been picturing since high school. The bitter taste filled my mouth again, and I picked up a napkin to blot at my eyes. Tearing away tiny pieces, I began to make a napkin mountain as I thought about Harlow’s last insinuation.
    Did I want to be done with my relationship with Josh? Is that why I was so certain that a break was the right thing for us? Normally I would have dismissed anything Harlow said, but the past few months I had taken every opportunity to blame Josh for my feelings. Could it really have been me trying to push him away so I wouldn’t have to do the breaking up?
    A life without Josh was unimaginable to me. We’d grown up together. He was my first love. But was it a real, forever kind of love? My heart sped up as I pictured Josh’s face, his goofy grin, the way he held me in his arms. And at that moment, I knew that I needed to find my way back to him, right after I found my way back to myself. And I needed to do it before I was too late. Even a guy like Josh wouldn’t wait around forever for me to get my act together.
    Dinner started before I could think through anything else. Mom pushed a large mound of mashed potatoes onto my plate before smothering them in gravy. A sarcastic comment sat on the tip of my tongue, but the smile on my mom’s face made me swallow it back down. Clearly she wanted to take care of me.
    â€œWould you like one piece of chicken or two?” she asked.
    â€œJust one, please.” I took the plate from her with what I hoped was a grateful smile. My heart squeezed as I realized how much worry I had caused her lately. Hoping to change her view of me as a fragile individual, I said, “Hey, did I tell you guys that my senior project got approved?”
    â€œOh, honey, that’s wonderful,” Mom said.
    Dad blinked at me. “What project was that again?”
    â€œI’m working with a friend. We’re staging a one-act musical, not that we have the script ready or anything. We’re working on that in February. But, yeah, it’s going to be a kind of cabaret show. I’m really excited.”
    â€œExcellent,” Grandma said. “I would be willing to make a special guest appearance if you need me to.”
    My eyes widened, and I choked on my chicken. “Um…”
    â€œYou’ve never seen my ‘Lady Marmalade’ routine. I could get some of the girls from the club to join me. It could be the highlight of your show,” Grandma said, smiling happily at her suggestion and leaning forward, exposing way too much boob for a lady her age.
    â€œUm…” I said again. “We’ll see?”
    â€œHear that, Duke? I’m going to be in a serious dramatic production. Now maybe those old biddies at the club will stop tormenting me.” Grandma reached under the table and Duke winked at her. My stomach heaved at the implication.
    Mom started to cough, sputtering out water, so I guessed she caught the gesture too. “So, um, Mom, did you say that you and Duke are getting another animal?”
    â€œHmm?” Grandma asked. “Oh, yes, we’re adopting a llama. It’s amazing how quickly the animals have become our little children. Can’t have too many now, can we?”
    â€œA llama? Where will you keep it?” Mom asked, looking both perplexed and dismayed.
    Duke shoveled in a forkful of mashed potatoes and said, “Didn’t we