me off guard.
“I told you already, I’ve never been in love.”
“That’s not what I asked. Have you ever had a boyfriend?”
“Have you?” I cast back.
“Yep.”
I looked helplessly over at Linda. She was staring at her hands.
“I’m waiting for my Prince Charming,” I told Jane.
“You’ll probably be waiting a very long time.”
“Then so be it.”
A week passed after I had declared that Dallas was College Crush Number Three, and I still hadn’t found an opportunity to talk to him again. The V-club had to meet in Linda's and my dorm room because it was the middle of the day. We were afraid someone would catch us up there and they'd have to start locking the storage door.
“Linda, you’re in his Heritage class. Can’t you try to invite him here?” Jane sat in her customary position: backwards in my desk chair. Linda was in her own chair, and I was up on my top bunk, rolled toward Jane.
“How?”
“Isn’t there some sort of project you have to work on?”
“Not really.”
“Somehow we have to get him over to Gandhi to hang out with Tammy.”
“Why don’t you just go over to his dorm room?” Linda asked.
Jane cocked her head at me.
“I’ve got stuff to do,” I said to the room in general.
“Bull shit. C’mon, Tammy, let’s go.” She got up and tugged at my arm. I reluctantly hopped down from the bed and went over to my make-up case.
“Now, Tammy,” Jane commanded.
I gave her a dirty look and then put my blusher brush down. Linda followed us out of our room.
“What if Sonofabitch is there?” I whined on our way across the quad.
“He won’t be. He’s never around,” Jane said confidently.
She was, of course, correct. The dorms aren’t locked during the day, so we could walk right in to Ibsen without getting the code. Their room door was propped open and Dallas lay on his bed, hands locked behind his head.
“Don’t you have any sheets?” Jane asked by way of greeting.
“No.” He didn’t seem particularly surprised to see us as he raised himself up again.
“Were you doing sit-ups?” Jane inquired. “In that?” He was clad in his ever-present J.crew button-down.
“Yeah,” he said, rolling off his bed, which had been stripped of everything. He unfurled an old lumpy egg crate and spread it over his mattress.
“What’s up guys?” he asked, wiping his face with a towel and then turning toward us.
“Nothing,” Jane said, sitting down on what must have been Sonofabitch’s bed. At least he had sheets.
I stayed standing and glanced around his room. It looked like what I had pictured a guy’s room would look like, although possibly a little cleaner. There were a few random articles of clothing scattered around, but no underwear, thank goodness. In the corner sat a blue caddy filled with shower stuff.
“Whose is that?” I asked him, gesturing toward it.
“Mine,” Dallas said.
“You have a bath pouf?”
“A what?”
“A bath pouf. That mesh thing. Do you use it?”
“Yeah. I do. So what?”
“Nothing.”
Dallas threw a sock at me as Jane looked at me approvingly. Wait, was I just flirting?
“Let’s prank-call someone,” Dallas suggested.
“How?” Jane asked.
“Check it out,” he said, meandering over to the computer on Sonofabitch’s side. He clicked a couple of buttons and suddenly Obi Wan’s voice boomed out: “Use the force, Luke.”
I grinned as Linda announced, “Tammy loves Star Wars.”
Dallas clicked some more as Han Solo declared, “Never tell me the odds.” Jane went over to stand behind him and clicked something. She crossed her arms triumphantly as Vader told us all to, “Search your feelings. You know it to be true.”
“Who should we prank?” Jane asked. She had found a copy of the campus directory and was flipping through it.
“Hey, do you guys know the giant girl that lives in your dorm? The girl whose arms are bigger than my leg?”
“LaVerne,” the three of us said at once.
“Yeah, her.
“I told you already, I’ve never been in love.”
“That’s not what I asked. Have you ever had a boyfriend?”
“Have you?” I cast back.
“Yep.”
I looked helplessly over at Linda. She was staring at her hands.
“I’m waiting for my Prince Charming,” I told Jane.
“You’ll probably be waiting a very long time.”
“Then so be it.”
A week passed after I had declared that Dallas was College Crush Number Three, and I still hadn’t found an opportunity to talk to him again. The V-club had to meet in Linda's and my dorm room because it was the middle of the day. We were afraid someone would catch us up there and they'd have to start locking the storage door.
“Linda, you’re in his Heritage class. Can’t you try to invite him here?” Jane sat in her customary position: backwards in my desk chair. Linda was in her own chair, and I was up on my top bunk, rolled toward Jane.
“How?”
“Isn’t there some sort of project you have to work on?”
“Not really.”
“Somehow we have to get him over to Gandhi to hang out with Tammy.”
“Why don’t you just go over to his dorm room?” Linda asked.
Jane cocked her head at me.
“I’ve got stuff to do,” I said to the room in general.
“Bull shit. C’mon, Tammy, let’s go.” She got up and tugged at my arm. I reluctantly hopped down from the bed and went over to my make-up case.
“Now, Tammy,” Jane commanded.
I gave her a dirty look and then put my blusher brush down. Linda followed us out of our room.
“What if Sonofabitch is there?” I whined on our way across the quad.
“He won’t be. He’s never around,” Jane said confidently.
She was, of course, correct. The dorms aren’t locked during the day, so we could walk right in to Ibsen without getting the code. Their room door was propped open and Dallas lay on his bed, hands locked behind his head.
“Don’t you have any sheets?” Jane asked by way of greeting.
“No.” He didn’t seem particularly surprised to see us as he raised himself up again.
“Were you doing sit-ups?” Jane inquired. “In that?” He was clad in his ever-present J.crew button-down.
“Yeah,” he said, rolling off his bed, which had been stripped of everything. He unfurled an old lumpy egg crate and spread it over his mattress.
“What’s up guys?” he asked, wiping his face with a towel and then turning toward us.
“Nothing,” Jane said, sitting down on what must have been Sonofabitch’s bed. At least he had sheets.
I stayed standing and glanced around his room. It looked like what I had pictured a guy’s room would look like, although possibly a little cleaner. There were a few random articles of clothing scattered around, but no underwear, thank goodness. In the corner sat a blue caddy filled with shower stuff.
“Whose is that?” I asked him, gesturing toward it.
“Mine,” Dallas said.
“You have a bath pouf?”
“A what?”
“A bath pouf. That mesh thing. Do you use it?”
“Yeah. I do. So what?”
“Nothing.”
Dallas threw a sock at me as Jane looked at me approvingly. Wait, was I just flirting?
“Let’s prank-call someone,” Dallas suggested.
“How?” Jane asked.
“Check it out,” he said, meandering over to the computer on Sonofabitch’s side. He clicked a couple of buttons and suddenly Obi Wan’s voice boomed out: “Use the force, Luke.”
I grinned as Linda announced, “Tammy loves Star Wars.”
Dallas clicked some more as Han Solo declared, “Never tell me the odds.” Jane went over to stand behind him and clicked something. She crossed her arms triumphantly as Vader told us all to, “Search your feelings. You know it to be true.”
“Who should we prank?” Jane asked. She had found a copy of the campus directory and was flipping through it.
“Hey, do you guys know the giant girl that lives in your dorm? The girl whose arms are bigger than my leg?”
“LaVerne,” the three of us said at once.
“Yeah, her.
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