does now, but she knows her place. Anyway, having a dad
sounds great except when that dad is a fucker. Better to have nothing than a
bastard giving you shit all the time.”
Looking a little
lost, Raven nodded. “I’ve never let a man talk to me like I let Scott do that
day. He called me a whore in front of a bunch of people and I didn’t do
anything. I should have, but I felt so weird to have him act like I mattered
enough for him to be disappointed in me. I felt like I was a little kid wanting
his approval except who the fuck is he? Just some guy who fucked my mom. They
weren’t together. They weren’t anything and he was nothing to me. I don’t even
have his last name. Mom gave Phoenix his shitty dad’s last name and the guy had
tried to kill her. Anyway, Scott made me feel like a loser, but I let him.”
“I’ll kick his
ass next time I see him,” I said, giving her a smile even though I had every
intention of making Scott bleed.
Raven shook her head.
“Whatever. I just don’t like seeing him. I’m embarrassed about that day. How I
let him make me feel. When I see him, even from afar, I feel like I’m back
there. It’s stupid and I left Ellsberg thinking people like him were the
problem. It’s me though. I’m the one who lets them mess with my head. I just
need to stop being stupid about it.”
“Easier said
than done.”
“True, but I
can’t control assholes. I can only control me. If I make good decisions, I can
have a better life. I don’t have to be like my mom, begging for scraps of
attention from a jerk. I can be free of that life.”
“I’ll never make
you beg for anything more than orgasms.”
Raven glanced at
me and smiled. “You’re very compassionate that way.”
“I really am.
It’s my curse.”
Raven set her
beer down. “I’m in a shitty mood and I want to smoke a pack of cigarettes and
drink until I barf. I’m not doing those things, but I will fuck you until I
can’t feel my legs. As my fuck buddy, it’s your duty to help me.”
“I take my fuck
buddy responsibilities very seriously. Now, let’s get you naked, so I can start
the healing.”
Laughing, Raven
jumped to her feet and ran for the bedroom. Any awkwardness I might have felt
about fucking in Cooper’s old room, let alone on his bed, ended when I saw the
blonde goddess jumping around naked on the mattress. The healing process had
officially commenced.
Three hours
later, we dozed off exhausted. Four hours later, I woke in a fit of panic.
Cuddled up with Raven, I was on my way to losing my damn mind.
What was my plan
anyway? Wait until she woke up then we’d go to dinner. Maybe a movie or
bowling. Then, we’d spend the night together. By the end of the week, we’d be talking
marriage and baby carriages. I’d walk around with a stupid smile on my face,
not at all concerned about my missing balls. Or the death sentence hovering
over me.
No, I wasn’t
whipped yet. It wasn’t too late to stop the downward spiral into stupid. For
Raven’s sake as much as mine, I needed to pull away and remember why they
called me Outlaw. I belonged nowhere and to no one. Despite everything Raven
offered, nothing had changed. I was a murderer with blood on my hands and a
bounty on my head.
Raven was asleep
when I slipped out of her place and drove away. I left a text about hooking up
with her as soon as my cock healed. Even trying to keep it light, I knew she
would be pissed. At least, that’s what I hoped.
Chapter Five - Raven
My sickness
hadn’t ended with a bout of abstinence. I was still drawn to bad men who used
then tossed me aside. The upside was this time I hadn’t lost my heart or mind.
I’d simply lost my panties.
I couldn’t find
them anywhere.
After a shower,
I retrieved a new pair like I could never find a new heart. Friends with
benefits. Fuck buddies. Whatever we called it was a definite step in the right
direction romance-wise. Too bad the idiot had to be a jackass too.
Vaughn sent a
short text
sounds great except when that dad is a fucker. Better to have nothing than a
bastard giving you shit all the time.”
Looking a little
lost, Raven nodded. “I’ve never let a man talk to me like I let Scott do that
day. He called me a whore in front of a bunch of people and I didn’t do
anything. I should have, but I felt so weird to have him act like I mattered
enough for him to be disappointed in me. I felt like I was a little kid wanting
his approval except who the fuck is he? Just some guy who fucked my mom. They
weren’t together. They weren’t anything and he was nothing to me. I don’t even
have his last name. Mom gave Phoenix his shitty dad’s last name and the guy had
tried to kill her. Anyway, Scott made me feel like a loser, but I let him.”
“I’ll kick his
ass next time I see him,” I said, giving her a smile even though I had every
intention of making Scott bleed.
Raven shook her head.
“Whatever. I just don’t like seeing him. I’m embarrassed about that day. How I
let him make me feel. When I see him, even from afar, I feel like I’m back
there. It’s stupid and I left Ellsberg thinking people like him were the
problem. It’s me though. I’m the one who lets them mess with my head. I just
need to stop being stupid about it.”
“Easier said
than done.”
“True, but I
can’t control assholes. I can only control me. If I make good decisions, I can
have a better life. I don’t have to be like my mom, begging for scraps of
attention from a jerk. I can be free of that life.”
“I’ll never make
you beg for anything more than orgasms.”
Raven glanced at
me and smiled. “You’re very compassionate that way.”
“I really am.
It’s my curse.”
Raven set her
beer down. “I’m in a shitty mood and I want to smoke a pack of cigarettes and
drink until I barf. I’m not doing those things, but I will fuck you until I
can’t feel my legs. As my fuck buddy, it’s your duty to help me.”
“I take my fuck
buddy responsibilities very seriously. Now, let’s get you naked, so I can start
the healing.”
Laughing, Raven
jumped to her feet and ran for the bedroom. Any awkwardness I might have felt
about fucking in Cooper’s old room, let alone on his bed, ended when I saw the
blonde goddess jumping around naked on the mattress. The healing process had
officially commenced.
Three hours
later, we dozed off exhausted. Four hours later, I woke in a fit of panic.
Cuddled up with Raven, I was on my way to losing my damn mind.
What was my plan
anyway? Wait until she woke up then we’d go to dinner. Maybe a movie or
bowling. Then, we’d spend the night together. By the end of the week, we’d be talking
marriage and baby carriages. I’d walk around with a stupid smile on my face,
not at all concerned about my missing balls. Or the death sentence hovering
over me.
No, I wasn’t
whipped yet. It wasn’t too late to stop the downward spiral into stupid. For
Raven’s sake as much as mine, I needed to pull away and remember why they
called me Outlaw. I belonged nowhere and to no one. Despite everything Raven
offered, nothing had changed. I was a murderer with blood on my hands and a
bounty on my head.
Raven was asleep
when I slipped out of her place and drove away. I left a text about hooking up
with her as soon as my cock healed. Even trying to keep it light, I knew she
would be pissed. At least, that’s what I hoped.
Chapter Five - Raven
My sickness
hadn’t ended with a bout of abstinence. I was still drawn to bad men who used
then tossed me aside. The upside was this time I hadn’t lost my heart or mind.
I’d simply lost my panties.
I couldn’t find
them anywhere.
After a shower,
I retrieved a new pair like I could never find a new heart. Friends with
benefits. Fuck buddies. Whatever we called it was a definite step in the right
direction romance-wise. Too bad the idiot had to be a jackass too.
Vaughn sent a
short text
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