university wasnât for him. Theyâd also given him Kedrick.
Five
Kedrick
Whitney Hall, Danâs residence in second year, housed an interesting collection of humanity. He made friends with the staff, who quickly sensed his orphan status. One in particular, a talkative night porter, painted from midnight to dawn then packed up his artistâs gear and went home. But from ten p.m. to midnight, the artist held court. Heâd established a cult appeal among the student body, having known celebrities and worked briefly as a bodyguard for an English movie star.
Among his coterie was a young Syrian named Arman, who had a habit of wearing as little as possible around the residence. In deep winter, Arman stalked the halls like a restless lion, dressed in sleeveless T-shirts and loose-fitting sweatpants. The porterâs room was small, and Dan often found himself crowded in next to this silky-skinned Arab. One evening, bored or tired, Arman leaned his head on Danâs shoulder. Dan flinched.
Arman turned a cool gaze on him. âAfraid of being touched?â he asked, with his superior-sounding English accent and comically raised eyebrows.
âN-no,â Dan stammered and felt his face flush.
âG-good,â said Arman, and laid his arm across the back of Danâs neck.
Dan sat, paralyzed with self-consciousness, as the group dissected European political views in light of the Gulf War. Now and again someone would look up at the pair, with disappointment or envy, Dan wasnât sure. After that, Dan attended the talks as much on the chance of seeing Armanâs honey-coloured skin and deep-set eyes as to hear the artist talk. Arman gave spirited debate on any subject under discussion, mesmerizing them with his accent and clear voice, receiving as much attention as the porter.
At midnight, the painter made it clear his studio time had arrived. The group broke up reluctantly, lingering in the hall to protract the discussions, this taste of the larger world. If neither of them had an early class, Arman might return to Danâs room, where the conversation resumed with Arman sprawled across Danâs bed in his scanty attire. Dan secretly hoped something would throw them together, but if Arman harboured any desire for his new friend, he never showed it. He seemed content being admired from the far side of the room. For Dan, to have Armanâs exclusive company nightly had been enough at first.
On weekends the residence emptied, the students going home or out of town. Dan stayed behind, having no place to visit and no invitations to take up. One Saturday, Arman arrived at his door with a slighter version of himself. He introduced his sister, Kendra, who was studying fashion at another institution. They were off to Chinatown for a bit of shopping and invited him to join. Dan hadnât known Arman had a sister, let alone family in Toronto. He got the feeling she was a black sheep of sorts, which Arman later confirmed with various off-hand remarks letting Dan know he was ashamed of Kendraâs whole-hearted embrace of North American life.
Like her brother, Kendra was keen-spirited and attractive. She made a habit of teasing Arman and quickly transferred that to Dan. That same day, over coffee, Dan asked her out, perhaps hoping to impress Arman or maybe to make him jealous â he wasnât sure.
They began to date. Dan didnât fall in love with her and he was sure she wasnât in love with him, but he was drawn to something behind the velvety eyes that looked purple in the right light. The first time they kissed â on the subway steps outside the Royal Ontario Museum â he imagined for a moment it was Arman he held in his arms and wondered if that was why he was attracted to her. Perhaps that was when he made up his mind to find out. If he couldnât have Arman directly, maybe he could have him through Kendra.
One evening, after too many pints at a local pub, he brought
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