Dancing in the Dark by Susan Moody Page B

after you with a shotgun?’
    â€˜He threw a glass of wine over me at a book launch, if that’s what you mean.’
    â€˜And now two other women have come forward to say what a heartless beast you are,’ Carolyn says.
    â€˜Axe-grinders, the pair of them. One’s a novelist who didn’t like what I wrote about her latest book, and the other is a well-known self-publicist.’
    â€˜So not an atom of truth in their allegations of hanky-panky,’ says Charlie.
    â€˜An atom, maybe. No more than that. Look, can we change the subject?’ Fergus looks round.
    â€˜Come into the kitchen.’
    Ah God, that kitchen. Cream-coloured Aga, Welsh dresser crowded with pretty pieces of china, double sink, magnet-cutesy fridge door covered with kiddy-art. Something to aspire to, or something to shun? Fergus the Aganaut. A terrible beauty . . .
    â€˜Charles, don’t you think Fergus is looking a bit seedy?’ Carolyn asks.
    Charlie, busy with bottles, blundering round the kitchen like a balding bear, considers his friend. ‘I’ve certainly seen him look better.’
    â€˜Something must be done,’ says his wife.
    Charlie sighs. ‘What kind of a something do we have to do?’
    â€˜Fergus here needs a stabilizing influence. We have to marry him off. For his own sake as much as for all those betrayed women,’ Carolyn says, the bit between her teeth, his future assured in her capable hands. ‘I mean, just look at him.’
    Fergus lifts his shoulders. ‘I’m probably constipated.’
    â€˜Constipation of the heart rather than the bowels, if you ask me,’ Carolyn says.
    â€˜Wouldn’t it be easier to prescribe me a paregoric or send me on a nice bracing visit to the seaside? Getting married seems a little drastic.’
    â€˜Drastic measures are what’s called for.’
    â€˜Got someone in mind, Caro?’ asks Charlie, filling three glasses and handing them round.
    â€˜I was thinking that there might be someone coming this afternoon who would be just right for him.’
    â€˜Who?’
    â€˜I don’t know, but . . .’
    â€˜Why should there be?’ asks Fergus. ‘How easy is it for two totally random entities to meet in the right place at the right time?’
    â€˜Isn’t that a definition of falling in love?’
    â€˜Man exists in an eternity of single atoms spinning out of the void and eventually disappearing back into it. There’s no guarantee he’ll ever connect to any of the other similarly spinning atoms around him.’
    â€˜Maybe today you’ll get lucky and bump into another atom.’ Carolyn leans forward with a brilliant smile. ‘
I
know! Theo Cairns!’
    â€˜Theo? The anal retentive?’ says Charlie.
    â€˜If you wish to be so insensitive about someone who’s practically family, well, yes.’
    Charlie pulls a face. ‘You know I love her dearly. She’s like my second sister. But you’ve got to admit she’s kind of –’ He waves his hands in the air as though hoping the right word will fly into them – ‘
edgy
. Would I wish her on my friend Fergus, the freest spirit of them all?’
    â€˜She might be exactly what he needs.’
    â€˜You could be right,’ Charlie says thoughtfully. ‘Trouble is, she’s carrying an awful lot of baggage.’
    â€˜Aren’t we all?’
    â€˜Well, no, actually. Not us. Your family, my family? Not a lot of baggage there – unless you mean the expensive Louis Vuitton kind.’
    â€˜Fergus’s got baggage, too.’
    â€˜That’s what I mean. Between him and Theo, there’s so much baggage they’d never be able to lift it off the ground.’
    â€˜Hell-
oh-
o.’ Fergus taps the side of his glass. ‘Anyone home?’
    The two of them stare at him as though they’re not sure who he is. ‘What?’
    â€˜First of all, who