Redshirts by John Scalzi

already inside of it, then Fischer and Williams are already dead.”
    “He’s right,” Finn said. “There’s no one to go back for. Even if we did, we couldn’t do anything. The bay is swarming with those things. This shuttle doesn’t have weapons. All we’d be doing is letting the machines get a second shot at us.”
    “We were lucky to get out at all,” Hester said, returning to his controls.
    Dahl looked back at Kerensky, who was now moaning softly while Duvall and Hanson tended to him.
    “I don’t think luck had much to do with it,” he said.

CHAPTER FIVE
    “I think I’d like to dispense with the bullshit now,” Dahl said to his lab mates.
    The four of them were quiet and looked at each other. “All right, you don’t have to fetch us all coffee anymore,” said Mbeke, finally.
    “It’s not about the coffee, Fiona,” Dahl said.
    “I know,” Mbeke said. “But I thought it was worth a shot.”
    “It’s about your away team experience,” Collins said.
    “No,” Dahl said. “It’s about my away team experience, and it’s about the fact all of you disappear whenever Q’eeng shows up, and it’s about the way people move away from him whenever he walks down the corridors, and it’s about that fucking box, and it’s about the fact there’s something very wrong with this ship.”
    “All right,” Collins said. “Here’s the deal. Some time ago, it was noticed that there was an extremely high correlation between away teams led by or including certain officers, and crewmen dying. The captain. Commander Q’eeng. Chief Engineer West. Medical Chief Hartnell. Lieutenant Kerensky.”
    “And not only about crewmen dying,” Trin said.
    “Right,” Collins said. “And other things, too.”
    “Like if someone died with Kerensky around, everyone else would be safe if they stuck with him,” Dahl said, remembering McGregor.
    “Kerensky’s actually only weakly associated with that effect,” Cassaway said.
    Dahl turned to Cassaway. “It’s an effect ? You have a name for it?”
    “It’s the Sacrificial Effect,” Cassaway said. “It’s strongest with Hartnell and Q’eeng. The captain and Kerensky, not so much. And it doesn’t work at all with West. He’s a goddamn death trap.”
    “Things are always exploding around him,” Mbeke said. “Not a good sign for a chief engineer.”
    “The fact that people die around these officers is so clear and obvious that everyone naturally avoids them,” Collins said. “If they’re walking through the ship, crew members know to look like they’re in the middle of some very important errand for the crew chief or section head. That’s why everyone’s rushing through the halls whenever they’re around.”
    “It doesn’t explain how you all know to get coffee or inspect that storage room whenever Q’eeng is on his way.”
    “There’s a tracking system,” Trin said.
    “A tracking system?” Dahl said, incredulously.
    “It’s not that shocking,” Collins said. “We all have phones that give away our locations to the Intrepid ’s computer system. I could, as your superior officer, have the computer locate you anywhere on the ship.”
    “Q’eeng isn’t your underling,” Dahl said. “Neither is Captain Abernathy.”
    “The alert system isn’t strictly legal,” Collins allowed.
    “But you all have access to it,” Dahl said.
    “ They have access to it,” Cassaway said, pointing to Collins and Trin.
    “We give you warning when they’re on their way,” Trin said.
    “‘I’m going to get some coffee,’” Dahl said. Trin nodded.
    “Yes, which only works as long as you two are actually here,” Cassaway said. “If you’re not around, we’re screwed.”
    “We can’t have the entire ship on the alert system,” Trin said. “It would be too obvious.”
    Cassaway snorted. “As if they’d notice,” he said.
    “What does that mean?” Dahl asked.
    “It means that the captain, Q’eeng and the others seem oblivious to the fact