caught. Never, ever. Every single time the cops or feds finally got close to him, one of his associates stepped up to take the fall. Jensen generously rewarded his patsies and their families, and he protected his fall-guys in jail as they served their sentences on his behalf. He was untouchable and he was smart, and Jack knew damn good and well that trying to stop Jensen by legal means had been tried, over and over again, and it had failed. Miserably. Over and over again, for years.
And more and more people got hurt badly and suffered terribly. Died horribly.
Maybe King was right, then. Maybe this was all that was left. The only way to end it, once and for all.
“Anyway.” King’s tone was ruthless, relentless. “You think it through, Cuddy, and you let me know which way you want to go.”
“When?” Ace’s voice was quiet, almost defeated. “How much time do I have?”
“How long will you be holding Shay?”
“Dunno. That’s Kirk’s call. But I can’t see it being more than two weeks. I know he’s making contact with Crusher the day after tomorrow.”
“So let’s agree that the babysitting of Shay Alcott will be your last official duty as President of the Fallen Angels. After that’s over, you either move up… or you move on.”
Ace nodded, tried to figure out what he was feeling. On the one hand, it was like a noose tightening around his neck, or a door slamming shut. Like he was suffocating and drowning; like his whole life was a never-ending cycle of violence, and hatred, and death. Taking the top post would just bring more of those things in to his world, and he knew that as sure as he knew his own name.
On the other hand, though, he felt… like he had a taste of freedom. Like he suddenly had possibilities. Like he had chances, for the first time in a long, long time. Like he could settle down someplace warm, and bright, and real. Someplace with sunlight.
He knew the cycle of darkness well; he knew it intimately. He lived it, he breathed it, he inhabited it on a cellular level. It was familiar now, so familiar that he was almost comfortable in it.
The light , though. The thought that he could live in the light… that was something he never thought he’d have, and so he’d never let himself want it. Never gave himself permission to wish for or dream about being free to start again – maybe even start again with Liam.
What King was offering him was a second chance to do something that he’d walked away from years before, and he’d regretted leaving ever since. King was offering him the chance to be honest about who he was, and to love who he wanted, without fear or shame. He’d have to be crazy to not take this chance, right?
But would he be safe? Would Liam? Would they have to spend their whole lives looking over their shoulders? Would Liam even want him, after everything he’d done, all the people he’d hurt? What if Liam didn’t want him – could Ace embark on a new life, living openly as a gay man, and find love with someone else? Did he even want to live his life that way if he couldn’t be with Liam? Maybe he’d be better off alone, pantomiming life as a straight man, running a criminal organization, getting drunk enough to fuck the club hellions – all the while cursing his decision to have not left with Liam all those years ago, back when Liam had begged him to.
Yeah. This was a big decision and if Ace were being totally honest, he truly didn’t know what he wanted to do.
“OK,” he said at last. “I’ll let you know in about two weeks.”
King and Jack both nodded and Ace took a deep breath. In his mind, a huge hand turned an hourglass over, the sand started to flow smoothly, continuously.
And time started running down.
Chapter Five
In the kitchen, Warren filled the largest mixing bowl with cool water, fighting hard to calm his nerves. It was easier said than done, though.
Shay was in his bed, burning up with fever. Despite him shooting her up with enough
And more and more people got hurt badly and suffered terribly. Died horribly.
Maybe King was right, then. Maybe this was all that was left. The only way to end it, once and for all.
“Anyway.” King’s tone was ruthless, relentless. “You think it through, Cuddy, and you let me know which way you want to go.”
“When?” Ace’s voice was quiet, almost defeated. “How much time do I have?”
“How long will you be holding Shay?”
“Dunno. That’s Kirk’s call. But I can’t see it being more than two weeks. I know he’s making contact with Crusher the day after tomorrow.”
“So let’s agree that the babysitting of Shay Alcott will be your last official duty as President of the Fallen Angels. After that’s over, you either move up… or you move on.”
Ace nodded, tried to figure out what he was feeling. On the one hand, it was like a noose tightening around his neck, or a door slamming shut. Like he was suffocating and drowning; like his whole life was a never-ending cycle of violence, and hatred, and death. Taking the top post would just bring more of those things in to his world, and he knew that as sure as he knew his own name.
On the other hand, though, he felt… like he had a taste of freedom. Like he suddenly had possibilities. Like he had chances, for the first time in a long, long time. Like he could settle down someplace warm, and bright, and real. Someplace with sunlight.
He knew the cycle of darkness well; he knew it intimately. He lived it, he breathed it, he inhabited it on a cellular level. It was familiar now, so familiar that he was almost comfortable in it.
The light , though. The thought that he could live in the light… that was something he never thought he’d have, and so he’d never let himself want it. Never gave himself permission to wish for or dream about being free to start again – maybe even start again with Liam.
What King was offering him was a second chance to do something that he’d walked away from years before, and he’d regretted leaving ever since. King was offering him the chance to be honest about who he was, and to love who he wanted, without fear or shame. He’d have to be crazy to not take this chance, right?
But would he be safe? Would Liam? Would they have to spend their whole lives looking over their shoulders? Would Liam even want him, after everything he’d done, all the people he’d hurt? What if Liam didn’t want him – could Ace embark on a new life, living openly as a gay man, and find love with someone else? Did he even want to live his life that way if he couldn’t be with Liam? Maybe he’d be better off alone, pantomiming life as a straight man, running a criminal organization, getting drunk enough to fuck the club hellions – all the while cursing his decision to have not left with Liam all those years ago, back when Liam had begged him to.
Yeah. This was a big decision and if Ace were being totally honest, he truly didn’t know what he wanted to do.
“OK,” he said at last. “I’ll let you know in about two weeks.”
King and Jack both nodded and Ace took a deep breath. In his mind, a huge hand turned an hourglass over, the sand started to flow smoothly, continuously.
And time started running down.
Chapter Five
In the kitchen, Warren filled the largest mixing bowl with cool water, fighting hard to calm his nerves. It was easier said than done, though.
Shay was in his bed, burning up with fever. Despite him shooting her up with enough
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