offering a friend the courtesy of my best professional advice. But you seem convinced there’s nothing I can do to help you.”
There was nothing anyone could do, Maddie finally accepted. The nightmares were going to win. The guilt and the pain. The confusion. Feeling and knowing things she shouldn’t. Other people’s things. The same darkness Sarah had fallen into—the sister no one at St. Chris but this man knew about. Because Maddie had had been so determined to believe that there was no legacy of gifts the women in her family couldn’t control. No spiraling need to—
Die!
“Don’t.” Jarred pried Maddie’s left hand away from her other wrist.
Her nails had been scratching. Scraping. The bloody slashes on her skin oozed sullenly. Maddie flinched, horrified by what she’d done, and by the terrifying calm that came with the pain. The craving inside for more.
Jarred let her go, taking his heat with him. When he knelt in front of the couch, his eyes were an infinite crystal blue. Confused. Worried. Kind. Saying, Trust me, Maddie…
“I can feel it, too.” His voice was a whisper now. “I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it, and it’s getting stronger. I don’t understand, but…” He studied her abused wrist. Pulled out a clean handkerchief and covered the scrapes, pressing gently. Maddie was too drained to resist. Too stunned by the peace seeping into her from Jarred’s touch.
I can feel it, too… his voice whispered through her mind.
When she could only stare, he sighed.
“I want to know how you do it,” he said out loud. “How you do whatever you did for that man this morning. I saw it, I felt it. But a part of me still can’t believe it. Let me help you deal with whatever this is, Maddie. Screw your job at St. Chris and what the administration thinks. I’ll figure out some way to deal with them. To buy you more time. But you have to stop insisting that you can fix this…whatever this is…yourself. You’re the most instinctive healer I’ve ever met, and you’re on the edge of a complete breakdown that’s about to take away everything you’ve worked for. Is that what you want? Do you want to be locked up for the rest of your life, just like Sarah?”
C HAPTER N INE
“Die!”
The command echoed through the night. Not the Raven’s voice. The darkness had never been about the Raven. Sarah could feel him fighting to stop it. To stop her. But the dream’s control belonged to neither of them.
The command to kill was too powerful. Impossible to deny no matter how strong her mind had become. And it was all the Raven’s fault. He’d promised she’d never be here. She’d never become what they wanted her to be.
Sarah fought the drugs and the simulation protocol. The shadows. The dark impulse to kill. She wasn’t doing this. She wasn’t Death. It was just a dream that she should be able to stop, the same way she had last time. But this time she couldn’t halt the inevitable. She’d never be able to, without…
Maddie…
Sarah’s mind reached for her last resort. For her twin’s emotional balance. The opposite of the weak, uncontrollable destruction that Sarah was becoming. But even though Maddie’s mind was there, on the fringes of the dream, she was closed off now. Resisting Sarah’s call. Determined not to let her in ever again.
So, like a good little girl, Sarah triggered Kayla Lawrence’s death. Choking on useless tears, soundlessly screaming, shepainted her host’s dream world with a nightmare programmed by a psychotic master. Then she was trapped, no way out, watching the dream unfold. A lucid nightmare, because her host was awake now. Daydreaming.
Like a captive, horrified conductor, Sarah watched Kayla reach into the bedside table drawer. Remove the gun she’d thought she’d thrown away after waking from last night’s simulation. Check to ensure it was loaded. Smile in satisfaction. Peace. Relief. Seductive emotions that had been planted to give the host
There was nothing anyone could do, Maddie finally accepted. The nightmares were going to win. The guilt and the pain. The confusion. Feeling and knowing things she shouldn’t. Other people’s things. The same darkness Sarah had fallen into—the sister no one at St. Chris but this man knew about. Because Maddie had had been so determined to believe that there was no legacy of gifts the women in her family couldn’t control. No spiraling need to—
Die!
“Don’t.” Jarred pried Maddie’s left hand away from her other wrist.
Her nails had been scratching. Scraping. The bloody slashes on her skin oozed sullenly. Maddie flinched, horrified by what she’d done, and by the terrifying calm that came with the pain. The craving inside for more.
Jarred let her go, taking his heat with him. When he knelt in front of the couch, his eyes were an infinite crystal blue. Confused. Worried. Kind. Saying, Trust me, Maddie…
“I can feel it, too.” His voice was a whisper now. “I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it, and it’s getting stronger. I don’t understand, but…” He studied her abused wrist. Pulled out a clean handkerchief and covered the scrapes, pressing gently. Maddie was too drained to resist. Too stunned by the peace seeping into her from Jarred’s touch.
I can feel it, too… his voice whispered through her mind.
When she could only stare, he sighed.
“I want to know how you do it,” he said out loud. “How you do whatever you did for that man this morning. I saw it, I felt it. But a part of me still can’t believe it. Let me help you deal with whatever this is, Maddie. Screw your job at St. Chris and what the administration thinks. I’ll figure out some way to deal with them. To buy you more time. But you have to stop insisting that you can fix this…whatever this is…yourself. You’re the most instinctive healer I’ve ever met, and you’re on the edge of a complete breakdown that’s about to take away everything you’ve worked for. Is that what you want? Do you want to be locked up for the rest of your life, just like Sarah?”
C HAPTER N INE
“Die!”
The command echoed through the night. Not the Raven’s voice. The darkness had never been about the Raven. Sarah could feel him fighting to stop it. To stop her. But the dream’s control belonged to neither of them.
The command to kill was too powerful. Impossible to deny no matter how strong her mind had become. And it was all the Raven’s fault. He’d promised she’d never be here. She’d never become what they wanted her to be.
Sarah fought the drugs and the simulation protocol. The shadows. The dark impulse to kill. She wasn’t doing this. She wasn’t Death. It was just a dream that she should be able to stop, the same way she had last time. But this time she couldn’t halt the inevitable. She’d never be able to, without…
Maddie…
Sarah’s mind reached for her last resort. For her twin’s emotional balance. The opposite of the weak, uncontrollable destruction that Sarah was becoming. But even though Maddie’s mind was there, on the fringes of the dream, she was closed off now. Resisting Sarah’s call. Determined not to let her in ever again.
So, like a good little girl, Sarah triggered Kayla Lawrence’s death. Choking on useless tears, soundlessly screaming, shepainted her host’s dream world with a nightmare programmed by a psychotic master. Then she was trapped, no way out, watching the dream unfold. A lucid nightmare, because her host was awake now. Daydreaming.
Like a captive, horrified conductor, Sarah watched Kayla reach into the bedside table drawer. Remove the gun she’d thought she’d thrown away after waking from last night’s simulation. Check to ensure it was loaded. Smile in satisfaction. Peace. Relief. Seductive emotions that had been planted to give the host
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