both know you spend most of your non-work time looking for Killjoy,” she said, meeting my eyes. “And no, I haven’t shared that with anyone else. I understand. You want to find him. You want to make him pay. And that’s something that you want for yourself. Maybe if I was a better friend, I’d tell the others so they could keep a better eye on you.”
I didn’t answer. Just closed my eyes.
“But we both know that, if and when you find Killjoy, you don’t want any witnesses to what happens next.” She paused. “Am I wrong?”
“I don’t know what I’ll do when I find him,” I said. “Right now everything in me screams that I’d do everything in my power to end him, as painfully as possible. But then there’s this little voice, and it sounds an awful fucking lot like Caine, actually, telling me that I’m better than that, that I shouldn’t do the things they’d do.”
Jenson set the laptop on the coffee table and rested her elbows on her knees, then rested her chin on her hands. She seemed to be thinking. We both watched the scene on the laptop for a few minutes. The electro and the guy on the couch were kissing now, the movie completely forgotten.
“I really wasn’t hoping for this much of a show tonight,” Jenson muttered. We were quiet for a while longer. “For what it’s worth, nobody who actually knows you at all would judge you too harshly if you followed your instincts on Killjoy. And you don’t care all that much about that. You’re going to do what you need to do.”
I nodded. “Superheroes aren’t supposed to say shit like that.”
She sighed. “Well, this stuff we’re doing,” she said, gesturing at the laptop, “this isn’t anything StrikeForce would ever do. I don’t know that we can call ourselves superheroes when we do this. It reminds me more of the special ops stuff I was involved in when I was with the Army. It’s the kind of stuff that makes most people a little uneasy, but, at the same time, they don’t need to know about it. All they need to know is that their life gets to go on the way it always has.”
Jenson didn’t talk about her past much at all. The edge of bitterness in her voice just then was not something I was used to hearing from her. She was usually straightforward, businesslike. She had a decent sense of humor, but most people never saw it. I’ve never seen her cool demeanor crack other than at Mama’s funeral when she’d cried with me. But anger wasn’t something I associated with Jenson.
And it struck me that I was probably holding her up to some kind of ridiculous standard. Everyone gets mad. Everyone loses it eventually. Jenson was just really good at keeping just about everything to herself.
Poor David had his work cut out for him. It would take more than a few not-a-dates to get her to start opening up to him.
“You don’t talk much about that part of your life,” I said, and she shrugged.
“It’s in the past. That’s the only thing worth remembering about it.”
I nodded. I guess I could relate to that attitude. There was a whole lot I’d like to leave in the past.
Or, barring that, in a nice deep grave nobody would ever find. I shook the thought away.
“Oh, Christ,” I muttered when I glanced at the laptop. The electro and the guy were mostly undressed and going at it. Jenson laughed and we both averted our eyes.
“Yeah. We are total professionals. I’m this close to covering my eyes,” I said, and Jenson laughed again.
Jenson sighed. “I haven’t done that in years.”
“What?”
“Get laid.”
“Oh.”
She glanced at me. “Did you and Killjoy get that far?”
I shook my head. “Thank god, no. I’d have to try to steam clean my girlie bits if that had been the case.”
She laughed again.
“It’s been years here, too. The burglar lifestyle didn’t leave much time for guys. At least, not the way I did it.”
“Obsessively, you mean,” Jenson said, and I nodded.
“I guess I’m kind of reverting
I didn’t answer. Just closed my eyes.
“But we both know that, if and when you find Killjoy, you don’t want any witnesses to what happens next.” She paused. “Am I wrong?”
“I don’t know what I’ll do when I find him,” I said. “Right now everything in me screams that I’d do everything in my power to end him, as painfully as possible. But then there’s this little voice, and it sounds an awful fucking lot like Caine, actually, telling me that I’m better than that, that I shouldn’t do the things they’d do.”
Jenson set the laptop on the coffee table and rested her elbows on her knees, then rested her chin on her hands. She seemed to be thinking. We both watched the scene on the laptop for a few minutes. The electro and the guy on the couch were kissing now, the movie completely forgotten.
“I really wasn’t hoping for this much of a show tonight,” Jenson muttered. We were quiet for a while longer. “For what it’s worth, nobody who actually knows you at all would judge you too harshly if you followed your instincts on Killjoy. And you don’t care all that much about that. You’re going to do what you need to do.”
I nodded. “Superheroes aren’t supposed to say shit like that.”
She sighed. “Well, this stuff we’re doing,” she said, gesturing at the laptop, “this isn’t anything StrikeForce would ever do. I don’t know that we can call ourselves superheroes when we do this. It reminds me more of the special ops stuff I was involved in when I was with the Army. It’s the kind of stuff that makes most people a little uneasy, but, at the same time, they don’t need to know about it. All they need to know is that their life gets to go on the way it always has.”
Jenson didn’t talk about her past much at all. The edge of bitterness in her voice just then was not something I was used to hearing from her. She was usually straightforward, businesslike. She had a decent sense of humor, but most people never saw it. I’ve never seen her cool demeanor crack other than at Mama’s funeral when she’d cried with me. But anger wasn’t something I associated with Jenson.
And it struck me that I was probably holding her up to some kind of ridiculous standard. Everyone gets mad. Everyone loses it eventually. Jenson was just really good at keeping just about everything to herself.
Poor David had his work cut out for him. It would take more than a few not-a-dates to get her to start opening up to him.
“You don’t talk much about that part of your life,” I said, and she shrugged.
“It’s in the past. That’s the only thing worth remembering about it.”
I nodded. I guess I could relate to that attitude. There was a whole lot I’d like to leave in the past.
Or, barring that, in a nice deep grave nobody would ever find. I shook the thought away.
“Oh, Christ,” I muttered when I glanced at the laptop. The electro and the guy were mostly undressed and going at it. Jenson laughed and we both averted our eyes.
“Yeah. We are total professionals. I’m this close to covering my eyes,” I said, and Jenson laughed again.
Jenson sighed. “I haven’t done that in years.”
“What?”
“Get laid.”
“Oh.”
She glanced at me. “Did you and Killjoy get that far?”
I shook my head. “Thank god, no. I’d have to try to steam clean my girlie bits if that had been the case.”
She laughed again.
“It’s been years here, too. The burglar lifestyle didn’t leave much time for guys. At least, not the way I did it.”
“Obsessively, you mean,” Jenson said, and I nodded.
“I guess I’m kind of reverting
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