Dates And Other Nuts by Lori Copeland

this means you won’t be seeing him again.”
    â€œNot likely.”
    â€œI’m so sorry. I had no idea he was a mumbler.”
    â€œIt’s all right,” Temple said, her frustration softening. “He seems very nice.”
    â€œMaybe, but I didn’t understand a word he said!”
    â€œMe neither. No telling what we talked about.”
    Steph nodded pensively. “I hope we didn’t agree to do this again.”
    Temple couldn’t help laughing at the apprehension on her friend’s face.
    Around nine-thirty, Temple dropped Jon off at his apartment house. He stood, cake in hand, looking rather forlorn at the failed evening.
    â€œThank you. I had a nice time.”
    â€œPardon?”
    â€œI had a nice time. Thankyou.”
    Temple nodded, smiling. “Sorry about your dog.” Shifting into gear, she drove off.
    Glancing in the rearview mirror, she saw Jon still standing in front of the gate as she merged into traffic.
    What she couldn’t hear was Jon mumbling, “I don’t have a dog. I said, TIRES. Are you guys deaf, or something?”

5
    â€œI KNOW WHAT the problem is,” Temple announced.
    Craig sipped his coffee. “I didn’t know we had a problem.”
    Mechanical trouble had temporarily grounded their plane. Temple and Craig were waiting in the lunchroom for word on whether the flight would be rescheduled.
    â€œI’m serious. I’ve been thinking a lot about this.”
    â€œOkay. I’ll bite. What’s our problem?” Craig stirred sugar into his coffee.
    â€œIt’s the blind dates. We’re doing it all wrong.” Temple, couldn’t stand one more Jon Bennett or Darrell... Darrell... Damn! What was that man’s last name?
    â€œThere’s a right way and a wrong way to date?” Craig asked.
    â€œThere has to be. And I must be doing it wrong. I couldn’t meet this many losers otherwise.”
    â€œHey, give Scotty a little credit for some of those.”
    Temple shook her head slowly in disbelief. “Last night was a nightmare. All the man wanted to do was talk about his dead dog.”
    Craig studied her over the rim of his cup. “So, I suppose you’ve come up with a solution to this problem of ours?”
    â€œIt’s so simple.” She set down her cup. “Who knows me better than anyone? And who knows you like an open book?”
    â€œNo one.”
    â€œWrong. Think.”
    â€œI suppose this is where I say I know you better than anyone else?”
    He did. And the more she thought about her plan, the more certain she was it would work.
    â€œWell, isn’t it true?”
    Craig shrugged.
    â€œSo, from now on,” she told him, “I’ll arrange dates for you with my friends and you can do the same for me.”
    His coffee cup paused halfway to his mouth. “I thought we both agreed. We’re not good at this dating thing.”
    â€œBut this is different,” she insisted. “I know you’d never set me up with a loser, and I certainly wouldn’t suggest someone I didn’t think was right for you. I’d want you to have a good time. And you’d want the same for me.” She leaned toward him, excited about her new plan. “Think about it, Craig. Our dates would be prescreened, so to speak. No more dates from hell.”
    No more shouters, ex-cons or mumblers.
    â€œSee the advantages?” she said.
    â€œNo.” He drained his coffee cup and signaled for the waitress.
    â€œCraig, it’s the perfect solution. We’ve known each other forever—or certainly long enough to know each other’s preferences in the opposite sex. And we definitely know what the other doesn’t like.”
    She could see he still wasn’t convinced.
    â€œTemple, you’re far more concerned about this than I am,” he said. “How many times do I have to repeat myself? I like my life the way it is. If you want