Cheyenne. Look!” I could still hear her words so clearly, and felt my tears renew. When would it ever stop?
“Cheyenne,” Maes said, his French accent breaking through. “I’ve come to bring you back.”
I didn’t reply.
“Cheyenne.” A heavy hand touched my shoulder. “You shouldn’t be alone.”
“What does it matter to you, Maes?” I hissed, pushing down my sadness. “You’re only here for yourself. I’m your hope, remember?” My hands flew out before I was able to stop them and I sent a blast of air into the forest, causing a small tree to crack. I clasped my fingers together. What was wrong with me? It was as if I couldn’t control my emotions any longer…
“Cheyenne.”
I shrugged off his hand and rose on shaky legs. His jade-rimmed eyes met mine and I paused, unsure of his expression. Was he actually showing remorse? Was he allowing me to see past all those barriers he’d set in place to protect himself?
“I loved once,” he rumbled. His subdued tone made me gasp. He’d never spoken like this before. It was somewhat frightening. “I’ve begged for the cold grip of death to come and take me away rather than living out the nightmare every day. I watched the one I loved perish right before my eyes and was helpless to prevent it. I replay that image over and over, feeling the guilt and shame for my failure, almost every day.” He paused, and looked me straight in the eye. “I know the darkness you ’re fighting, because I’ve been there myself.”
I swallowed.
“You’ve seen the crimson eyes staring back at you, haven’t you?” he said.
My eyes widened. How did he know what I’d seen? It was what I imagined it to look like, and I’d told no one.
He stepped closer, his voice lowering.
“Don’t fall into the abyss like I did. Fight it, conquer it, and live on. Because once you fall in, the climb out will be worse than hell itself.”
“But you came out.”
“Because of you, Cheyenne. You gave me hope again; hope enough to claw myself back into the light.” His jaw tensed. “I won’t allow you to disappear.”
“Stop saying that!” I snapped. “I’ve had enough of the lies . I don’t need yours on top of them!”
“What are you— ”
“Don’t pretend you’re innocent!” I cut him off. “I know you only want me to free you from your stupid curse. I’m just a tool to be used when the moment calls for it.” I balled my hands into fists. “Why do you all do this? You push so many expectations onto me, and you don’t even give a single thought to my feelings!”
“And how can we, when you close yourself off all the time?” Maes shot back; the barriers were up again. “You don’t speak to us. Instead you hide away like a whimpering pup, feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others for the isolation you’ve brought upon yourself!”
His words struck home, and moisture tingled behind my eyes.
“I can’t be the person you want me to be,” I said, my voice trembling. “I can’t. I couldn’t protect the ones I love, and if it wasn’t for Callon, I’d have killed you all that day.”
Maes sighed. “Perhaps I have been too harsh on you. You are stronger than this, mon espoir . That is not an expectation I place on you; that is a fact I have seen. You must not burden yourself with things you cannot change. The darkness will always be there, but you shouldn’t cower from it. You must learn to master it.” He looked away, as if afraid I’d see into his heart again. “Or it will consume you.”
Stunned, I could only nod. Maes had to be desperate if he was apologizing for shouting at me.
“You need to find a way to distract yourself. Focus on building your strength. Your aim is to beat me in a fight. Let’s see if you can do it.”
“You want me to fight you?”
“I want you to become stronger, so when the time comes you’ll be ready for battle.” He stood motionless for a few moments as we both pondered his words. “Come,” Maes said.
“Cheyenne,” Maes said, his French accent breaking through. “I’ve come to bring you back.”
I didn’t reply.
“Cheyenne.” A heavy hand touched my shoulder. “You shouldn’t be alone.”
“What does it matter to you, Maes?” I hissed, pushing down my sadness. “You’re only here for yourself. I’m your hope, remember?” My hands flew out before I was able to stop them and I sent a blast of air into the forest, causing a small tree to crack. I clasped my fingers together. What was wrong with me? It was as if I couldn’t control my emotions any longer…
“Cheyenne.”
I shrugged off his hand and rose on shaky legs. His jade-rimmed eyes met mine and I paused, unsure of his expression. Was he actually showing remorse? Was he allowing me to see past all those barriers he’d set in place to protect himself?
“I loved once,” he rumbled. His subdued tone made me gasp. He’d never spoken like this before. It was somewhat frightening. “I’ve begged for the cold grip of death to come and take me away rather than living out the nightmare every day. I watched the one I loved perish right before my eyes and was helpless to prevent it. I replay that image over and over, feeling the guilt and shame for my failure, almost every day.” He paused, and looked me straight in the eye. “I know the darkness you ’re fighting, because I’ve been there myself.”
I swallowed.
“You’ve seen the crimson eyes staring back at you, haven’t you?” he said.
My eyes widened. How did he know what I’d seen? It was what I imagined it to look like, and I’d told no one.
He stepped closer, his voice lowering.
“Don’t fall into the abyss like I did. Fight it, conquer it, and live on. Because once you fall in, the climb out will be worse than hell itself.”
“But you came out.”
“Because of you, Cheyenne. You gave me hope again; hope enough to claw myself back into the light.” His jaw tensed. “I won’t allow you to disappear.”
“Stop saying that!” I snapped. “I’ve had enough of the lies . I don’t need yours on top of them!”
“What are you— ”
“Don’t pretend you’re innocent!” I cut him off. “I know you only want me to free you from your stupid curse. I’m just a tool to be used when the moment calls for it.” I balled my hands into fists. “Why do you all do this? You push so many expectations onto me, and you don’t even give a single thought to my feelings!”
“And how can we, when you close yourself off all the time?” Maes shot back; the barriers were up again. “You don’t speak to us. Instead you hide away like a whimpering pup, feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others for the isolation you’ve brought upon yourself!”
His words struck home, and moisture tingled behind my eyes.
“I can’t be the person you want me to be,” I said, my voice trembling. “I can’t. I couldn’t protect the ones I love, and if it wasn’t for Callon, I’d have killed you all that day.”
Maes sighed. “Perhaps I have been too harsh on you. You are stronger than this, mon espoir . That is not an expectation I place on you; that is a fact I have seen. You must not burden yourself with things you cannot change. The darkness will always be there, but you shouldn’t cower from it. You must learn to master it.” He looked away, as if afraid I’d see into his heart again. “Or it will consume you.”
Stunned, I could only nod. Maes had to be desperate if he was apologizing for shouting at me.
“You need to find a way to distract yourself. Focus on building your strength. Your aim is to beat me in a fight. Let’s see if you can do it.”
“You want me to fight you?”
“I want you to become stronger, so when the time comes you’ll be ready for battle.” He stood motionless for a few moments as we both pondered his words. “Come,” Maes said.
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