Hollywood who’s who of living waxworks.
I swiped a passing glass of champagne and knocked it back. Big mistake. It went straight to my head, reminding me I hadn’t eaten for 24 hours. Lilia was right about the canapés: they were thin-looking things, the size of a dime, and designed to be eaten in one go. I vacuumed up half a tray, ignoring Rhonda’s warning stare then made my way to the men’s room. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t follow me.
I pushed open the door and wandered in, one hand already on my zipper. My eyes bugged out and I think I spat out a few crumbs. Fuck me! I could not believe I was seeing that! And I really wished I hadn’t!
A Very Famous Actor, well known for his ‘warm and affectionate marriage’ to a TV starlet, was in the throes of getting a blow job from a young, skinny woman in a shiny, sequined dress. Yeah, I noticed the dress.
He came loudly while I was frozen to the spot. He opened his eyes and saw me. He gave his trademark, white-toothed grin.
“Sometimes it’s great being me!”
And then he winked.
I tried to smile, backed out still apologizing, and reversed into Lilia.
“Ouch! Watch where you’re stepping, Miles! Wow, you look pale – I mean, even paler than usual. Are you okay?”
I couldn’t speak, and then the Very Famous Actor walked out followed by the skinny woman who looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, or anything else .
“Oh,” said Lilia, a smile of understanding crossing her face. “Yeah, he does that. He’s known for it: it’s kinda his thing. Don’t worry about it.”
I wasn’t worried – just in awe.
I shook my head and she smiled at me sympathetically.
“You having fun?”
“Truthfully? Not as much as I thought I would. You know, meeting all these celebrities. No offence.”
She laughed. “We’re just people, Miles. No more or less interesting than anyone else – just more famous. Sometimes it’s a real drag. I mean, we’re all so damn conservative. We can’t be seen to put a toe over the line or it’s professional suicide.”
“Mr. Joe Blow doesn’t seem to care about that.”
She smiled.
“He’s a nut job. It’ll catch up with him one day – then all the rats will come out of the sewers. You’ll see. It’s all about how long you can get away with it. It’s a game for people like him. But no one gets away with it forever.”
I found her words faintly depressing. Nothing was real here – especially not the smiles.
And I was still hungry.
Home Alone
Clare
I was trying hard to concentrate on my studies and the two essays I had to write: a structural comparison of Austen and Brontë, Charlotte; and… well, I won’t bore you with all that.
Jess and Colin were sitting with me in the cafeteria drinking coffee. She was on the same course as me and Colin was studying… actually, I had no idea what he did. Mostly, he was a lazy tosser.
It was supposed to be an informal study group, me and Jess, but we weren’t doing much work. It was near the end of term and we didn’t have exams, just those damned essays. Instead, Colin was editing Jess’s Facebook page with fictional updates and she was squawking away and giggling. It was irritating, you know, to be the third wheel. Again.
I tried to find a more comfortable way of sitting on the hard chair and to lose myself in ‘Persuasion’. It was my favorite Jane Austen – about second chances, love second time around.
“Hey, Clare!” Jess’s shrill voice set my teeth on edge. “Isn’t that your mate, Miles? Wow! He looks… wow! I mean, more than usual!”
“What?”
Jess’s eyes were nearly popping out of her head and even Colin looked slightly stunned – although he may have been slightly stoned; it wasn’t always easy to tell the difference, and what’s a vowel between friends?
Jess swiveled her laptop around so I could see the video clip. It was some sort of Hollywood film awards. There was a red carpet, camera flashes going off and… holy
I swiped a passing glass of champagne and knocked it back. Big mistake. It went straight to my head, reminding me I hadn’t eaten for 24 hours. Lilia was right about the canapés: they were thin-looking things, the size of a dime, and designed to be eaten in one go. I vacuumed up half a tray, ignoring Rhonda’s warning stare then made my way to the men’s room. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t follow me.
I pushed open the door and wandered in, one hand already on my zipper. My eyes bugged out and I think I spat out a few crumbs. Fuck me! I could not believe I was seeing that! And I really wished I hadn’t!
A Very Famous Actor, well known for his ‘warm and affectionate marriage’ to a TV starlet, was in the throes of getting a blow job from a young, skinny woman in a shiny, sequined dress. Yeah, I noticed the dress.
He came loudly while I was frozen to the spot. He opened his eyes and saw me. He gave his trademark, white-toothed grin.
“Sometimes it’s great being me!”
And then he winked.
I tried to smile, backed out still apologizing, and reversed into Lilia.
“Ouch! Watch where you’re stepping, Miles! Wow, you look pale – I mean, even paler than usual. Are you okay?”
I couldn’t speak, and then the Very Famous Actor walked out followed by the skinny woman who looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, or anything else .
“Oh,” said Lilia, a smile of understanding crossing her face. “Yeah, he does that. He’s known for it: it’s kinda his thing. Don’t worry about it.”
I wasn’t worried – just in awe.
I shook my head and she smiled at me sympathetically.
“You having fun?”
“Truthfully? Not as much as I thought I would. You know, meeting all these celebrities. No offence.”
She laughed. “We’re just people, Miles. No more or less interesting than anyone else – just more famous. Sometimes it’s a real drag. I mean, we’re all so damn conservative. We can’t be seen to put a toe over the line or it’s professional suicide.”
“Mr. Joe Blow doesn’t seem to care about that.”
She smiled.
“He’s a nut job. It’ll catch up with him one day – then all the rats will come out of the sewers. You’ll see. It’s all about how long you can get away with it. It’s a game for people like him. But no one gets away with it forever.”
I found her words faintly depressing. Nothing was real here – especially not the smiles.
And I was still hungry.
Home Alone
Clare
I was trying hard to concentrate on my studies and the two essays I had to write: a structural comparison of Austen and Brontë, Charlotte; and… well, I won’t bore you with all that.
Jess and Colin were sitting with me in the cafeteria drinking coffee. She was on the same course as me and Colin was studying… actually, I had no idea what he did. Mostly, he was a lazy tosser.
It was supposed to be an informal study group, me and Jess, but we weren’t doing much work. It was near the end of term and we didn’t have exams, just those damned essays. Instead, Colin was editing Jess’s Facebook page with fictional updates and she was squawking away and giggling. It was irritating, you know, to be the third wheel. Again.
I tried to find a more comfortable way of sitting on the hard chair and to lose myself in ‘Persuasion’. It was my favorite Jane Austen – about second chances, love second time around.
“Hey, Clare!” Jess’s shrill voice set my teeth on edge. “Isn’t that your mate, Miles? Wow! He looks… wow! I mean, more than usual!”
“What?”
Jess’s eyes were nearly popping out of her head and even Colin looked slightly stunned – although he may have been slightly stoned; it wasn’t always easy to tell the difference, and what’s a vowel between friends?
Jess swiveled her laptop around so I could see the video clip. It was some sort of Hollywood film awards. There was a red carpet, camera flashes going off and… holy
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