Dead Drunk II: Dawn of the Deadbeats (Dead Drunk: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse... One Beer at a Time Book 2) by Richard Johnson
Authors: Richard Johnson
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They got chewed
on and then they turned into cannibals. It’s like rabies, and honestly, I don’t
think God has anything to do with it.”
“I think
you’re wrong, young man. After all, this very scenario was written in Isaiah
26:19. But your dead will live; their bodies will rise. You who dwell in the
dust, wake up and shout for joy.”
Charlie bit
his lip while trying not to lose his temper. They needed help and sanctuary,
not bible lessons. Still, he had to make them see reality.
“That priest
outside wasn’t exactly shouting for joy when he tried to bite your face off. He
was… well, trying to bite your face off.”
Smokey gave
Sam a high five. “Again, excellent shot, bro. Took him down like a boss.” The
preteen beamed with pride. Fitting in was something he’d never done, and his
new acquaintances, as crazy as they were, seemed to be trying hard to bring him
into the fold. To an orphan, that meant a lot.
The nuns were
alarmed to see someone challenging their leader, but having taken an oath of
silence, all they could do was look down in anticipation of the haranguing that
was sure to come.
However,
Agnes didn’t respond with the anger they’d come to expect.
“You’re
right. I don’t know precisely what’s going on. But God’s mysteries aren’t
always apparent to us, now are they?”
“I guess
not,” Charlie conceded with a sigh.
“I’m
confident all will be revealed in good time, especially with plenty of prayer
and introspection – which, by the way, is our specialty here.”
“You
work on figuring out God’s mysteries and we’ll work on fixing our friend up,”
Charlie said with a bit of sarcasm creeping into his voice.
Agnes nodded.
“Biggsburg is
a small town about three miles away. A doctor’s office there would have what
you need. Tetanus shots, bandages, iodine. I wish we could help more, but we
only use what we make ourselves.”
“We passed it
on our way here,” Smokey said. “What’s left of it. Unfortunately the place
looked pretty toasted.”
“I can lead
you around the town,” Sam said. “I know it pretty well and—”
“That’s not happening,”
Charlie replied. “The place is a mess. Sorry, but you’re staying here.”
“You said I’m
part of the group and now you’re already kicking me out?”
Charlie
quickly changed tactics. “No. Somebody has to stay behind and protect the
convent from…” Charlie was going to say “Left-Nut,” but realized that wouldn’t
sit well with his hosts. “The zombies. That’s your job.” He looked to Agnes.
“Can you draw us a map?”
She nodded.
“Yes. The office won’t be hard to find.”
“If the place
hasn’t burned down already,” Smokey added.
The meal
ended on that note, so Charlie and company went back to the spare rooms to get
their gear. He longingly looked at the unadorned yet cozy room. Soft blankets
and fresh, clean sheets were the types of simple pleasures that had become
luxuries during the apocalypse. Plus, there were no giant rats lurking in the
shadows, no rotting corpses festering outside, and no whiskey farts lingering
around like an unwanted roommate. Leaving the convent so soon was the last
thing Charlie Campbell wanted to do. Especially for Left-Nut, of all people.
“I’ll be
honest, I don’t want to go,” Smokey said, vocalizing what Charlie was thinking.
“Maybe we just leave Lefty here?”
But Rob would
have none of it. “Without treatment he’ll go downhill fast and probably die.
Remember, we never leave a man behind. Even if he is an asshole.”
Charlie
nodded. “Rob’s right. About the asshole part, mostly. Plus, if there is a God,
I’m pretty sure he’d take a dump on us if we left Matt Tucker in a convent
without adult supervision. That’s just asking for it.”
“Fine,”
Smokey said. “I’ll go, but as long as we’re shopping I’d like to pick up a
little medicinal marijuana. For my glaucoma, of course.”
“Of course,”
Charlie said.
on and then they turned into cannibals. It’s like rabies, and honestly, I don’t
think God has anything to do with it.”
“I think
you’re wrong, young man. After all, this very scenario was written in Isaiah
26:19. But your dead will live; their bodies will rise. You who dwell in the
dust, wake up and shout for joy.”
Charlie bit
his lip while trying not to lose his temper. They needed help and sanctuary,
not bible lessons. Still, he had to make them see reality.
“That priest
outside wasn’t exactly shouting for joy when he tried to bite your face off. He
was… well, trying to bite your face off.”
Smokey gave
Sam a high five. “Again, excellent shot, bro. Took him down like a boss.” The
preteen beamed with pride. Fitting in was something he’d never done, and his
new acquaintances, as crazy as they were, seemed to be trying hard to bring him
into the fold. To an orphan, that meant a lot.
The nuns were
alarmed to see someone challenging their leader, but having taken an oath of
silence, all they could do was look down in anticipation of the haranguing that
was sure to come.
However,
Agnes didn’t respond with the anger they’d come to expect.
“You’re
right. I don’t know precisely what’s going on. But God’s mysteries aren’t
always apparent to us, now are they?”
“I guess
not,” Charlie conceded with a sigh.
“I’m
confident all will be revealed in good time, especially with plenty of prayer
and introspection – which, by the way, is our specialty here.”
“You
work on figuring out God’s mysteries and we’ll work on fixing our friend up,”
Charlie said with a bit of sarcasm creeping into his voice.
Agnes nodded.
“Biggsburg is
a small town about three miles away. A doctor’s office there would have what
you need. Tetanus shots, bandages, iodine. I wish we could help more, but we
only use what we make ourselves.”
“We passed it
on our way here,” Smokey said. “What’s left of it. Unfortunately the place
looked pretty toasted.”
“I can lead
you around the town,” Sam said. “I know it pretty well and—”
“That’s not happening,”
Charlie replied. “The place is a mess. Sorry, but you’re staying here.”
“You said I’m
part of the group and now you’re already kicking me out?”
Charlie
quickly changed tactics. “No. Somebody has to stay behind and protect the
convent from…” Charlie was going to say “Left-Nut,” but realized that wouldn’t
sit well with his hosts. “The zombies. That’s your job.” He looked to Agnes.
“Can you draw us a map?”
She nodded.
“Yes. The office won’t be hard to find.”
“If the place
hasn’t burned down already,” Smokey added.
The meal
ended on that note, so Charlie and company went back to the spare rooms to get
their gear. He longingly looked at the unadorned yet cozy room. Soft blankets
and fresh, clean sheets were the types of simple pleasures that had become
luxuries during the apocalypse. Plus, there were no giant rats lurking in the
shadows, no rotting corpses festering outside, and no whiskey farts lingering
around like an unwanted roommate. Leaving the convent so soon was the last
thing Charlie Campbell wanted to do. Especially for Left-Nut, of all people.
“I’ll be
honest, I don’t want to go,” Smokey said, vocalizing what Charlie was thinking.
“Maybe we just leave Lefty here?”
But Rob would
have none of it. “Without treatment he’ll go downhill fast and probably die.
Remember, we never leave a man behind. Even if he is an asshole.”
Charlie
nodded. “Rob’s right. About the asshole part, mostly. Plus, if there is a God,
I’m pretty sure he’d take a dump on us if we left Matt Tucker in a convent
without adult supervision. That’s just asking for it.”
“Fine,”
Smokey said. “I’ll go, but as long as we’re shopping I’d like to pick up a
little medicinal marijuana. For my glaucoma, of course.”
“Of course,”
Charlie said.
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