a disaster. I haven’t been great at sticking to this resolution, but I do my best. I have a feeling tonight will put some pressure on that.
“Yeah,” I answer. “So what’s the big deal, and why did you demand that I join you?”
He nods his head and gestures toward the far end of the bar. My heart starts to race when my eyes lock onto what he’s talking about. Shit. She’s here.
“Tabby,” Dax says. He has no idea that I saw her the other day.
I can’t be here right now and he needs to be told this. “Not a good idea to bring me here, Dax. You should have told me she was here when you called me.” I’m pissed off right now. Fuck.
“Alex, you vowed to talk to her as soon as you got home, and I’m just making it easy for you to do that. So go. Talk to her.”
He’s been hoping for us to reconcile since admitting to me on the last leg of our tour that he thinks she’s the only way I’ll be happy. He told me how good he thought Tabs was for me, and he completely overlooked the fact that she cheated on me. Over the course of the year that we dated before all hell broke loose with Seth, she and Dax worked through their differences and actually became friends. She started to see through his tough exterior and knew that he treated her the way he did because of his brotherly bond with me.
While Dax wasn’t happy with what she did with Seth, he still thinks that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t say that I disagree with him. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Shit.
“Listen, Dax, you don’t understand. I did see her. The other day.” I glance over to be sure she hasn’t spotted me. She and Kirsten are huddled together at the bar with a bunch of empty shot glasses scattered in front of them. They seem engrossed in conversation and oblivious to everything around them. Tabby has a strange look on her face as if she’s contemplating something serious. I need to know what they’re talking about. What has her looking concerned?
“Oh?” He leans back and stretches his arms across the back of the bench. “And how did that go?”
I flag down our waitress and order some shots of whiskey. There goes my resolution, but I need to feel numb. Dax frowns at me but says nothing. She returns quickly with the shots. I toss back two, and let the warmth settle in my belly before I speak again.
“She’s doing great. She’s fucking great.” I am not sure if I’m happy that she moved on without me.
“You seem surprised and pissed,” Dax says.
“I don’t know what to feel. While I was there, I went through every emotion. But bottom line? She’s so much stronger than she has ever been.” I take another shot of whiskey and wince. “And I’m kind-of proud of her. This is fucked up, right?” I’ve never seen Tabby so strong and sure of herself, even after I scared the shit out of her when I showed up. I shudder again as I picture the terrified look in her eyes. What did she think I was going to do to her? I could never hurt her. Ever.
His smirk returns. “You’re proud of her? Hmm. That’s a huge swing in feelings from just a few weeks ago.” He swigs his beer and smiles. “I’m glad to see it.”
I swallow my fourth and fifth shots then signal to our waitress for more. Numbness and calm wash over me, but I need more.
“Okay, Alex. I think that’s enough, don’t you?” I can tell he doesn’t want to say it, but he does. “I can’t always be there to get you out of trouble, and Jesus, you swore off booze, remember?”
The waitress places two more shots and a pitcher of water on the table in front of me. I take that as a hint.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got this under control.”
Do I? I’m feeling the familiar buzz from the whiskey, and look over to see if Tabby is still at the bar. She is, but I look away. I want her so bad. I want to erase the years lost between us. I want her to be mine again and make her forget about every second
“Yeah,” I answer. “So what’s the big deal, and why did you demand that I join you?”
He nods his head and gestures toward the far end of the bar. My heart starts to race when my eyes lock onto what he’s talking about. Shit. She’s here.
“Tabby,” Dax says. He has no idea that I saw her the other day.
I can’t be here right now and he needs to be told this. “Not a good idea to bring me here, Dax. You should have told me she was here when you called me.” I’m pissed off right now. Fuck.
“Alex, you vowed to talk to her as soon as you got home, and I’m just making it easy for you to do that. So go. Talk to her.”
He’s been hoping for us to reconcile since admitting to me on the last leg of our tour that he thinks she’s the only way I’ll be happy. He told me how good he thought Tabs was for me, and he completely overlooked the fact that she cheated on me. Over the course of the year that we dated before all hell broke loose with Seth, she and Dax worked through their differences and actually became friends. She started to see through his tough exterior and knew that he treated her the way he did because of his brotherly bond with me.
While Dax wasn’t happy with what she did with Seth, he still thinks that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t say that I disagree with him. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Shit.
“Listen, Dax, you don’t understand. I did see her. The other day.” I glance over to be sure she hasn’t spotted me. She and Kirsten are huddled together at the bar with a bunch of empty shot glasses scattered in front of them. They seem engrossed in conversation and oblivious to everything around them. Tabby has a strange look on her face as if she’s contemplating something serious. I need to know what they’re talking about. What has her looking concerned?
“Oh?” He leans back and stretches his arms across the back of the bench. “And how did that go?”
I flag down our waitress and order some shots of whiskey. There goes my resolution, but I need to feel numb. Dax frowns at me but says nothing. She returns quickly with the shots. I toss back two, and let the warmth settle in my belly before I speak again.
“She’s doing great. She’s fucking great.” I am not sure if I’m happy that she moved on without me.
“You seem surprised and pissed,” Dax says.
“I don’t know what to feel. While I was there, I went through every emotion. But bottom line? She’s so much stronger than she has ever been.” I take another shot of whiskey and wince. “And I’m kind-of proud of her. This is fucked up, right?” I’ve never seen Tabby so strong and sure of herself, even after I scared the shit out of her when I showed up. I shudder again as I picture the terrified look in her eyes. What did she think I was going to do to her? I could never hurt her. Ever.
His smirk returns. “You’re proud of her? Hmm. That’s a huge swing in feelings from just a few weeks ago.” He swigs his beer and smiles. “I’m glad to see it.”
I swallow my fourth and fifth shots then signal to our waitress for more. Numbness and calm wash over me, but I need more.
“Okay, Alex. I think that’s enough, don’t you?” I can tell he doesn’t want to say it, but he does. “I can’t always be there to get you out of trouble, and Jesus, you swore off booze, remember?”
The waitress places two more shots and a pitcher of water on the table in front of me. I take that as a hint.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got this under control.”
Do I? I’m feeling the familiar buzz from the whiskey, and look over to see if Tabby is still at the bar. She is, but I look away. I want her so bad. I want to erase the years lost between us. I want her to be mine again and make her forget about every second
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