ran from sixty-five to nineteen eighty. No that was too early. She would have been too young. If she had been molested in the way she thought she had, if her own father had somehow abused her or let her be abused then surely Hyde-Lee would have an entry about it and it must be in the last volume.
She started reading the book from the last entry. The entries were briefer, only a few words here and there which must correspond to Hyde-Lee's failing powers and his illness.
She flicked the pages back, then, as she cast her eyes along the top of the book, she noticed something. She opened the book with haste. Three years were missing. Three years of her puberty, between the ages of fourteen and seventeen. They had been ripped out. It made sense. Maybe Hyde-Lee had been defending himself. Maybe Hyde-Lee hadn't wanted her to see. Perversely he was trying to protect her own memory of her father. So it must be true. Her worst fears confirmed. How could he? How could her father have done such a terrible thing? Clutching onto the book, she locked the door behind her and sped back to her room. She tossed the book down and slumped onto the bed. She could fight back her tears no longer.
6: Sonia, the Maid, Tells Her Story
Ten minutes later Sonia knocked on her bedroom door.
'What's wrong, miss?'
'Nothing, Sonia, nothing at all.' She had become quite friendly with Sonia, chatty, informal, but she always felt that Sonia had held something back in reserve.
'Has something upset you?'
It was obvious by Lillian's posture and the red rawness of her eyes that something had indeed disturbed her.
'This place, Sonia, this place upsets me. Things happen here, don't they? Things that don't normally happen. You must know, you must know?'
She couldn't help herself. Everything that she had read, the power of her own recurring dream, everything fused, fixed in her mind.
'What things?' Sonia asked guardedly.
'Hyde-Lee and Willingham they are sadists, aren't they?'
Sonia didn't answer.
'Tell me the truth, please. I need to know for my sanity. Things do happen here?'
Sonia moved over beside her and sat on the bed. 'Yes...'
'They take girls don't they, they beat them...'
'But...'
'But that is terrible!'
Lillian was crying again, strong images from Hyde-Lee's personal diaries flitting through her mind, the horrible sense of her father's betrayal lodged deep inside her. She couldn't stop herself, even though she hated to cry in front of someone who was virtually a stranger to her.
Sonia placed her arms around Lillian and held her in a maternal embrace. Lillian let her head fall onto Sonia's breast.'
'Did that happen to you, Sonia?'
Sonia still did not speak.
'Please Sonia tell me! What did they do to you?'
Sonia still didn't want to speak; she knew that it was forbidden to tell outsiders anything about what happened inside the house, but looking into Lillian's eyes and seeing such pain there melted her heart.
'Please, Sonia, I need to know what goes on here.'
'Why is it so important to you?'
'Because I think they might have done that to me a long time ago.'
Eventually, Sonia began to tell her story.
'The reason I came here is that they were offering three times more money than I would normally receive. Remember I was very young when I came here. Very easily influenced. Hyde-Lee promised me that he would personally teach me English, that I would travel with him, and that when he died he would make me a beneficiary of his will. He knew then that he didn't have long to live. He had an apartment then in Rome.' Sonia spoke in accurate but heavily accented English.
'And why did you stay?'
'I stayed because they took all my innocence away. It is wrong to be too innocent after a time but it is also wrong to have all your innocence taken away too soon.'
'When did you come here, Sonia?'
'About three years ago.' Sonia hesitated, still unsure about whether she should continue with her story.
'Tell me what happened.' Lillian smiled at Sonia
She started reading the book from the last entry. The entries were briefer, only a few words here and there which must correspond to Hyde-Lee's failing powers and his illness.
She flicked the pages back, then, as she cast her eyes along the top of the book, she noticed something. She opened the book with haste. Three years were missing. Three years of her puberty, between the ages of fourteen and seventeen. They had been ripped out. It made sense. Maybe Hyde-Lee had been defending himself. Maybe Hyde-Lee hadn't wanted her to see. Perversely he was trying to protect her own memory of her father. So it must be true. Her worst fears confirmed. How could he? How could her father have done such a terrible thing? Clutching onto the book, she locked the door behind her and sped back to her room. She tossed the book down and slumped onto the bed. She could fight back her tears no longer.
6: Sonia, the Maid, Tells Her Story
Ten minutes later Sonia knocked on her bedroom door.
'What's wrong, miss?'
'Nothing, Sonia, nothing at all.' She had become quite friendly with Sonia, chatty, informal, but she always felt that Sonia had held something back in reserve.
'Has something upset you?'
It was obvious by Lillian's posture and the red rawness of her eyes that something had indeed disturbed her.
'This place, Sonia, this place upsets me. Things happen here, don't they? Things that don't normally happen. You must know, you must know?'
She couldn't help herself. Everything that she had read, the power of her own recurring dream, everything fused, fixed in her mind.
'What things?' Sonia asked guardedly.
'Hyde-Lee and Willingham they are sadists, aren't they?'
Sonia didn't answer.
'Tell me the truth, please. I need to know for my sanity. Things do happen here?'
Sonia moved over beside her and sat on the bed. 'Yes...'
'They take girls don't they, they beat them...'
'But...'
'But that is terrible!'
Lillian was crying again, strong images from Hyde-Lee's personal diaries flitting through her mind, the horrible sense of her father's betrayal lodged deep inside her. She couldn't stop herself, even though she hated to cry in front of someone who was virtually a stranger to her.
Sonia placed her arms around Lillian and held her in a maternal embrace. Lillian let her head fall onto Sonia's breast.'
'Did that happen to you, Sonia?'
Sonia still did not speak.
'Please Sonia tell me! What did they do to you?'
Sonia still didn't want to speak; she knew that it was forbidden to tell outsiders anything about what happened inside the house, but looking into Lillian's eyes and seeing such pain there melted her heart.
'Please, Sonia, I need to know what goes on here.'
'Why is it so important to you?'
'Because I think they might have done that to me a long time ago.'
Eventually, Sonia began to tell her story.
'The reason I came here is that they were offering three times more money than I would normally receive. Remember I was very young when I came here. Very easily influenced. Hyde-Lee promised me that he would personally teach me English, that I would travel with him, and that when he died he would make me a beneficiary of his will. He knew then that he didn't have long to live. He had an apartment then in Rome.' Sonia spoke in accurate but heavily accented English.
'And why did you stay?'
'I stayed because they took all my innocence away. It is wrong to be too innocent after a time but it is also wrong to have all your innocence taken away too soon.'
'When did you come here, Sonia?'
'About three years ago.' Sonia hesitated, still unsure about whether she should continue with her story.
'Tell me what happened.' Lillian smiled at Sonia
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