reflection, letting me know that it was time to go. I quickly glanced once more at the soon-to-be-bride, making sure nothing was out of place before departing.
We walked toward the anteroom that would lead us into the sanctuary – an early twentieth century great hall with wooden pews and beautiful stained glasses on both sides. The church had played a significant role in our family throughout the years. Grandma, my uncles, and my siblings grew up in this congregation. And while Mom, Dad, and I could not participate, Dad had helped build the pipe organ whose melody now would guide us down the aisle.
I looked at Dad and reminded him: “I need to be on your left side, remember.”
“Yes, that’s right.” Dad walked around my train, and when he reached my right side, he stopped abruptly. I saw an expression on his face I didn’t recognize; he clearly wanted to say something but didn’t quite know how. He was not a man of many words.
“Would it be OK if I kiss you on the cheek when I give you away?” Dad blurted out.
His request caught me off guard. He had never kissed me before. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I replied: “That’ll be fine.”
Why Dad chose this moment to give me a kiss, I’ll never know. I wished he didn’t. His kiss felt awkward and artificial. Did he feel pressured, knowing it was customary to kiss the bride when giving her away?
Chapter 21
February 1985
I leaned my left cheek against the cold window of our school van as six of us traveled to Madison Square Garden for the U.S.A. Mobil Indoor Track and Field Championship meet in New York. Our coach, Jack Griffin, had gotten us tickets and declared that this event would be one we’d never forget.
We left early Friday morning; our principal granted us special permission to miss school. As Mr. Griffin drove, our excitement was evident. The girls talked about the different athletes we would witness competing – one of them being Carl Lewis. I was rather quiet on the ride; however, my mind was replaying what had taken place the night before.
I had stood by the door and smiled nervously when he saw me.
“Come in. What’s up?” He said, looking at the clock. “Aren’t you going to see the game?”
“I still have time. It’s not 6:30 yet.” I was on my way from the dorm to the gym to watch the varsity boys’ basketball game when I noticed that the light in his classroom was on. I wanted to give him the note now, or else I’d have to wait until the following week because of our trip to New York. I didn’t want to wait.
“Is everything okay? Did you want to talk?” he asked.
“No.” I took the note out of my jeans’ pocket and said: “I have a note for you.”
“I know you prefer to write. But you’re here now. Couldn’t you just tell me?”
I shook my head. “I prefer you read.” After I handed him the note, I was about to walk out of the classroom.
“Wait,” he stopped me. “Why don’t you just stay while I read? Then, maybe we can talk about it?”
“Okay,” I sighed. It was not going to be easy, but he was right. Perhaps, it was best we talked about it in person to just get it over with.
As he unfolded the note, I looked down at the floor, ashamed of what he was going to find out. After he finished reading, he lifted my face to meet his eyes, and assured me: “Please don’t feel guilty. It’s okay. There’s nothing to forgive.”
“But it’s wrong,” I said.
“I’m not sure about that,” he said. “You are not the only one, you know.”
I looked at him, not comprehending.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since last November,” he confessed.
“Since November?”
He nodded.
And, so we did.
Chapter 22
February 1985
A fter our kiss, everything changed.
Everything .
Not gradually, but overnight.
I had never felt constant fear before then. I was worried that our affection was too obvious. I worried that my classmates would suspect that something was going on between the two of us. In the
We walked toward the anteroom that would lead us into the sanctuary – an early twentieth century great hall with wooden pews and beautiful stained glasses on both sides. The church had played a significant role in our family throughout the years. Grandma, my uncles, and my siblings grew up in this congregation. And while Mom, Dad, and I could not participate, Dad had helped build the pipe organ whose melody now would guide us down the aisle.
I looked at Dad and reminded him: “I need to be on your left side, remember.”
“Yes, that’s right.” Dad walked around my train, and when he reached my right side, he stopped abruptly. I saw an expression on his face I didn’t recognize; he clearly wanted to say something but didn’t quite know how. He was not a man of many words.
“Would it be OK if I kiss you on the cheek when I give you away?” Dad blurted out.
His request caught me off guard. He had never kissed me before. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I replied: “That’ll be fine.”
Why Dad chose this moment to give me a kiss, I’ll never know. I wished he didn’t. His kiss felt awkward and artificial. Did he feel pressured, knowing it was customary to kiss the bride when giving her away?
Chapter 21
February 1985
I leaned my left cheek against the cold window of our school van as six of us traveled to Madison Square Garden for the U.S.A. Mobil Indoor Track and Field Championship meet in New York. Our coach, Jack Griffin, had gotten us tickets and declared that this event would be one we’d never forget.
We left early Friday morning; our principal granted us special permission to miss school. As Mr. Griffin drove, our excitement was evident. The girls talked about the different athletes we would witness competing – one of them being Carl Lewis. I was rather quiet on the ride; however, my mind was replaying what had taken place the night before.
I had stood by the door and smiled nervously when he saw me.
“Come in. What’s up?” He said, looking at the clock. “Aren’t you going to see the game?”
“I still have time. It’s not 6:30 yet.” I was on my way from the dorm to the gym to watch the varsity boys’ basketball game when I noticed that the light in his classroom was on. I wanted to give him the note now, or else I’d have to wait until the following week because of our trip to New York. I didn’t want to wait.
“Is everything okay? Did you want to talk?” he asked.
“No.” I took the note out of my jeans’ pocket and said: “I have a note for you.”
“I know you prefer to write. But you’re here now. Couldn’t you just tell me?”
I shook my head. “I prefer you read.” After I handed him the note, I was about to walk out of the classroom.
“Wait,” he stopped me. “Why don’t you just stay while I read? Then, maybe we can talk about it?”
“Okay,” I sighed. It was not going to be easy, but he was right. Perhaps, it was best we talked about it in person to just get it over with.
As he unfolded the note, I looked down at the floor, ashamed of what he was going to find out. After he finished reading, he lifted my face to meet his eyes, and assured me: “Please don’t feel guilty. It’s okay. There’s nothing to forgive.”
“But it’s wrong,” I said.
“I’m not sure about that,” he said. “You are not the only one, you know.”
I looked at him, not comprehending.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since last November,” he confessed.
“Since November?”
He nodded.
And, so we did.
Chapter 22
February 1985
A fter our kiss, everything changed.
Everything .
Not gradually, but overnight.
I had never felt constant fear before then. I was worried that our affection was too obvious. I worried that my classmates would suspect that something was going on between the two of us. In the
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