asleep that way, only to have my brain betray me in the end. Because no matter how much I told myself Kyle was no longer an option, in my dreams, he was still there waiting to show me what it might have been like if he were.
The rest of the week flew by. Jax asked me every day in Geography if I wanted a ride home. And every time I wanted to tell him yes. I wanted to just hop in his Jeep and not care what Kyle thought. But that never happened.
Instead, at the end of the day, I would crawl into the back of his car and sit in an awkward, tense silence as Cat chatted obliviously, and then got out with a quick thank you thrown his way. He never spoke to me. He never even looked at me.
I didn’t feel his eyes on me in the mirror again, or even get the impression that he was aware I was there. Then each night I would get down about it and have to give myself the same pep-talk, only to dream about him anyway.
By the time Saturday came around, I was more than ready for a distraction, something new to do with my overactive brain.
Mom and Dad had been happy when I’d said I was going to sleep at Cat’s. I think they were just relieved I had actually made friends at this school. Colt was going to drive me over in an hour or so, so I stood in my closet trying to figure out what to pack.
Cat had said I needed something grown-up and sexy. As I looked over my wardrobe, I realized I didn’t really have anything like that. This was going to be harder than I thought.
Fingering the black dress I had worn for a wedding one year, I wondered if it would look weird if I wore a dress? Girls wore dresses to parties, right? I’d never really been to a big party, especially not a college one, so I had no idea what was acceptable or not. I could always go with jeans and a nice shirt, I thought. That didn’t really scream grown-up and sexy to me though.
With a huff, I grabbed a few options and just stuffed them all in a bag, along with a couple of shoes to pick from as well. Cat could decide what worked best and I’d just go with that. Throwing in something to wear for bed and tomorrow morning, I added my make-up too and zipped it all up. I’d just finished when I heard Colt’s voice downstairs.
Sitting on the bed, I gave myself a few minutes. Partly to get myself under control before I saw anyone. The last thing I needed was to give myself away to my parents by seeming nervous and jittery. The other part was to give Colt and my dad sometime alone before I joined them. Things were still strained between them and I really wanted to let them close the gap that my dad had created all those years ago.
When I finally made my way down, I found the two of them standing in the kitchen, my mom nowhere to be found. She’d probably had the same idea as me, letting these two talk alone.
“Hey,” I greeted, smiling at my brother.
“Hey, you ready?”
“Yup,” I said, lifting my bag. “Thanks for giving me a drive.”
“It’s no problem. Olivia is working until nine, so I wasn’t doing anything anyway.”
“Make sure you call us in the morning and I’ll come pick you up,” Dad said.
“I will.”
Mom came in from the backyard. “Are you leaving?”
I nodded.
She came over and gave me a tight hug.
“It’s just a night, Mom,” I squeaked. Her arms tightened around me even more before she released me.
“I know,” she said with a smile. “Have fun. And make good choices.”
I rolled my eyes. “Stop worrying.”
She nodded. “I won’t.”
I shook my head, laughing as I turned to leave. Colt waited by the door.
“Here, I’ll take your bag,” he offered.
“Thanks.”
I handed it to him. His eyebrows lifted as he tested the weight.
“Are you sure you’re just going for a night? What is it with girls and packing?”
I shrugged sheepishly.
The ride over was nice. It was hard to imagine what it had been like without having Colt in my life. I loved having a brother. My only regret was that we’d lost so many
The rest of the week flew by. Jax asked me every day in Geography if I wanted a ride home. And every time I wanted to tell him yes. I wanted to just hop in his Jeep and not care what Kyle thought. But that never happened.
Instead, at the end of the day, I would crawl into the back of his car and sit in an awkward, tense silence as Cat chatted obliviously, and then got out with a quick thank you thrown his way. He never spoke to me. He never even looked at me.
I didn’t feel his eyes on me in the mirror again, or even get the impression that he was aware I was there. Then each night I would get down about it and have to give myself the same pep-talk, only to dream about him anyway.
By the time Saturday came around, I was more than ready for a distraction, something new to do with my overactive brain.
Mom and Dad had been happy when I’d said I was going to sleep at Cat’s. I think they were just relieved I had actually made friends at this school. Colt was going to drive me over in an hour or so, so I stood in my closet trying to figure out what to pack.
Cat had said I needed something grown-up and sexy. As I looked over my wardrobe, I realized I didn’t really have anything like that. This was going to be harder than I thought.
Fingering the black dress I had worn for a wedding one year, I wondered if it would look weird if I wore a dress? Girls wore dresses to parties, right? I’d never really been to a big party, especially not a college one, so I had no idea what was acceptable or not. I could always go with jeans and a nice shirt, I thought. That didn’t really scream grown-up and sexy to me though.
With a huff, I grabbed a few options and just stuffed them all in a bag, along with a couple of shoes to pick from as well. Cat could decide what worked best and I’d just go with that. Throwing in something to wear for bed and tomorrow morning, I added my make-up too and zipped it all up. I’d just finished when I heard Colt’s voice downstairs.
Sitting on the bed, I gave myself a few minutes. Partly to get myself under control before I saw anyone. The last thing I needed was to give myself away to my parents by seeming nervous and jittery. The other part was to give Colt and my dad sometime alone before I joined them. Things were still strained between them and I really wanted to let them close the gap that my dad had created all those years ago.
When I finally made my way down, I found the two of them standing in the kitchen, my mom nowhere to be found. She’d probably had the same idea as me, letting these two talk alone.
“Hey,” I greeted, smiling at my brother.
“Hey, you ready?”
“Yup,” I said, lifting my bag. “Thanks for giving me a drive.”
“It’s no problem. Olivia is working until nine, so I wasn’t doing anything anyway.”
“Make sure you call us in the morning and I’ll come pick you up,” Dad said.
“I will.”
Mom came in from the backyard. “Are you leaving?”
I nodded.
She came over and gave me a tight hug.
“It’s just a night, Mom,” I squeaked. Her arms tightened around me even more before she released me.
“I know,” she said with a smile. “Have fun. And make good choices.”
I rolled my eyes. “Stop worrying.”
She nodded. “I won’t.”
I shook my head, laughing as I turned to leave. Colt waited by the door.
“Here, I’ll take your bag,” he offered.
“Thanks.”
I handed it to him. His eyebrows lifted as he tested the weight.
“Are you sure you’re just going for a night? What is it with girls and packing?”
I shrugged sheepishly.
The ride over was nice. It was hard to imagine what it had been like without having Colt in my life. I loved having a brother. My only regret was that we’d lost so many
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