[Desert Roses 02] - Across the Years by Tracie Peterson Page A

danger, how does this become the fault of our Lord and Savior?” He paused for a moment and studied the faces of his congregation. His expression softened as he continued. “Of course, there are those things that are thrust upon us that are not of our doing.” Again he looked directly at Ashley. She warmed under his stare and shifted uncomfortably inher seat. Why had Grandpa and Natalie insisted on sitting so close to the front?
    “Sometimes we suffer the consequences of other people’s sin. A man is murdered by a thief. He leaves behind a wife and several children. They will bear the consequences of the murderer’s actions. Are they to blame? No, of course not, but suffer they will, nevertheless. Does this make God unjust? Does this make God an uncaring bystander who leaves His children to fend for themselves?”
    Ashley swallowed hard and leaned forward ever so slightly to hear the answer. Surely this man knew her heart—knew the questions and misery that lived there.
    “God is not unjust—nor uncaring,” Pastor McGuire continued. “He has offered us shelter in His love. The world will do as it will. Sin will abound and the curse of sin will follow from generation to generation. We will neither go untouched nor unscathed. However, we have but to draw nearer to God in order to be healed of the wounds. We have only to rest in Him and find comfort from the pains of this world. Jesus himself said we would have these trials and pains. He said family members would turn against each other because of Him. He said the way would be difficult. . . . However, He promised we would never face it alone.”
    But I feel alone, Ashley whispered in the depths of her soul. I feel terribly alone—especially now that Grandpa is dying. How will I make a good home for Natalie once he’s gone? How can I be both father and mother to this child?
    She missed the pastor’s final comments but stood with the others as they sang another song. This time she paid little attention to the words or music. Ashley knew there was no sense in trying to focus on anything at this point. Her mind was awash in questions without hope of answers.
    ****
    The days that followed were peaceful ones despite Ashley’s worries. Grandpa, although weakened greatly, seemedas alert as ever. The pastor came and played checkers twice, and Natalie read to the older man every evening after supper. The routine seemed comfortable, almost easy.
    But by Thursday Grandpa’s pain had grown almost unbearable. Ashley offered him the morphine the doctor had given her, but Grandpa was still not yet ready to succumb to the medicated stupor that it promised.
    “I need you to go bring my lawyer here. He’s been processing some papers for me—some things we have to tend to before I start taking the medicine,” Grandpa told her that afternoon.
    “I’ll go right away,” Ashley promised. “Will you be all right alone? I could wait until Natalie comes home from school.” It was only after the words were out of her mouth that Ashley remembered Natalie’s request to go to the Harvey building site after school.
    “No, I’m fine. Just go ahead. I’m going to try to sleep while you’re gone,” Grandpa replied.
    Ashley reached out and gently stroked the old man’s snowy white hair. “Grandpa, I love you. I wish I could take this sickness from you.”
    He smiled up at her, the weariness evident in his expression. “To every man is appointed a time to die.”
    “I wish it could be otherwise.” She took hold of his hand and squeezed it gently. “It’s so unfair.”
    “You’re troubled. I can see that,” he said, surprising her. “Sit here with me for a minute. The lawyer can wait. Tell me what’s on your mind. This is more than just me and my situation.”
    Ashley carefully sat on the bedside. She knew any movement at all only caused Grandpa greater pain. “I just don’t know what to do,” she admitted.
    “About what?”
    She shrugged. “Everything, I guess. I