[Desert Roses 02] - Across the Years by Tracie Peterson Page B

want so much to give Natalie a good home, but I can’t be both mother and fatherto her. I’ve relied on you for so much over the years, and I don’t know how to make it all work.”
    “You could remarry,” Grandpa suggested rather hesitantly.
    “That’s what Natalie wants,” Ashley admitted. “But I could never love another man the way I did Ethan.”
    “Who’s asking you to? Why don’t you just love another man for himself?”
    “I’m afraid I would always be comparing a new husband to Ethan.”
    “Child, you only knew Ethan for a short time. Please don’t misunderstand me, but can you truly have that much to compare with, or are you living in the memory of what you’ve created over the long, lonely years?”
    Ashley felt as if he’d slapped her. She opened her mouth to speak in anger, then closed it again. Convicted in her own heart, she knew his words held an element of truth. “I suppose there are certain things I’ve created in my mind. We had so little time together, and I didn’t want to lose a single memory. But, Grandpa, he was the love of my life. He made my life seem complete.”
    “But he’s dead and gone. His suffering is over, but yours goes on. Maybe Natalie wants a new father as much for you as for herself. Maybe she realizes how lonely and miserable you are—how much you need a companion.”
    There was no need to deny it. Ashley knew her grandfather would figure out the truth whether she tried to conceal it or not. “I just don’t know if I can open my heart up to someone again. The people I loved so dearly have hurt me so deeply.”
    “Like your own mother and father?”
    “Yes. And my brothers.”
    “You need to mend that fence.”
    Ashley jerked upward, bristling at the thought. “Why should I? They care nothing for me. They’re the ones who sent me away without another word—without a cent to my name.”
    “True enough, but they may have had a change of heart.In fact, your brothers and father may never have agreed with your mother’s actions at all. You never gave them a chance to voice an opinion. You never let them know where you were, and because you were with me and pleaded for me not to tell them, they don’t know how to reach either of us.”
    “Which is exactly how I want it.” Ashley got to her feet. “I can’t imagine that they’d care to know where I am—even now.”
    “But you can’t assume that. You need to turn this over to the Lord and work through it, because, frankly, I’d like to see your mama—your aunt Lavelle too before I die.”
    Ashley had never considered this for even a moment. Up until now, Grandpa had said very little about his daughters. “After the way they treated you, Grandpa, how can you want to see them? They were cruel. They forced you to divide up your property and live without the wealth and possessions you’d collected over the years.”
    “Those things meant very little to me in light of my children’s happiness. I knew the money and things couldn’t make them happy,” Grandpa admitted, “but I also knew that they would have to come to their own understanding of that. I forgive them for what they said and did, and I want to put the past to rest.”
    His expression took on a faraway look, as though he were drawn back in time. “I know there’s a possibility they still feel as angry and hateful as they did when I first told them I was leaving the real estate business in Los Angeles. Still, there’s the possibility God has done a work in their lives and they’ve changed.” He looked back at Ashley. “I wouldn’t want to die and not at least try to make things right. Besides, your mother and father might very well want to be a part of your life—your brothers too. Once I’m gone, you might want them in your life as well. Ashley, at least promise me you’ll think about it.”
    Ashley’s breathing quickened with the tightening in her chest. “I’ll think about it, but that’s all I can promise at this