the two of us. How many conversations did we have left, I wondered, before Jimmy would leave our strange twilight world forever?
‘That’s what they say, isn’t it? You don’t get to your deathbed wishing you spent more time in the office. Was there someone special in your life?’ I probed again. ‘Someone you wished you’d spent more time with.’
‘No, sadly not.’ Now it was Jimmy’s turn to look pensive. ‘I wish there had been. It was all up here,’ he tapped the side of his head. ‘My master plan for the future. I had it all mapped out; a mad passionate love affair with the woman who was to be my wife, a couple of kids, an apartment in town, the big house in the country, a golden retriever, guinea pig, the full works. Only I got stuck at first base. I didn’t get to meet the woman of my dreams.’
‘That’s so sad.’ Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, but I blinked them away. It was such a terrible waste. Jimmy would have made a wonderful husband and a fantastic father too, I didn’t doubt. And now it was too late for him.
‘Actually,’ he said, putting his fork and spoon down, ‘there was something I wanted to ask you.’
‘Of course. Just ask away,’ I said lightly, trying to ignore the growing sense of trepidation in my tummy.
‘I wondered if you’d come with me on Friday?’
‘Friday?’
‘Yes, to the funeral. I need to be there, obviously, but I don’t think I can face it alone. It would mean a lot to me if you came along.’
I hoped Jimmy hadn’t noticed my sharp intake of breath. It hadn’t occurred to me that he’d go to the funeral, well not in a wafting around capacity at least, and surely I’d be conspicuous, not knowing anyone else in the congregation.
‘It’s OK,’ he said, doing that weird thing of seemingly reading my mind again, ‘you can say you were a good friend of mine. There are a lot of friends my family hadn’t got to meet. Please, Alice?’
‘Of course, I’ll come,’ I said, feeling honoured to be asked. ‘I’ll book the day off work tomorrow. It should be fine.’
‘Thanks.’ Jimmy smiled, looking relieved and reached across the table, his hand finding mine. My fingers sizzled, my whole body warming from the intimacy of his touch.
Something stirred deep inside me as my eyes locked with Jimmy’s. I was the only one he had now, the only person in this world who could help him and I wanted to ensure I did everything in my power to do exactly that.
Booking the day off work wasn’t difficult. I rarely took time off so Simon was more than happy to accommodate my request especially when I told him it was to attend a funeral.
‘I’m sorry to hear that, Alice. It wasn’t anybody close, was it?’ He’d looked up from his papers, a genuine concern etched across his brow.
‘Um, a cousin, twice removed, on my mother’s side. I hadn’t seen her in ages. But we were close. As children. Well, I was a child and she was a bit older and then we grew up of course.’ Shut up now , I told myself, but my mouth had gone into hyperactive mode. ‘And then she died. Just like that. Very unexpectedly. So sad.’
‘Oh dear, very sad,’ said Simon. ‘Well, if you need to take any extra time off, then you only have to ask.’
‘Oooh, thank you,’ I said, a little over-enthusiastically, as if he’d agreed to me going off on some jolly. ‘I just need Friday off. That’s all. I’ll be back on Monday.’ I took a deep breath in an attempt to lose the hysterical edge to my voice. I was absolutely hopeless at this lying lark. I always felt everyone could see straight through me as soon as any untruth left my lips and I have to admit Simon was observing me sceptically over the top of his glasses.
‘If you’re sure.’
Hopefully, he’d put my manic, out-of-character behaviour down to the distress of losing my much-loved, if distant, aunt. Or was it my cousin? I needed to be sure of that fact.
He got up from behind his desk and came over and
‘That’s what they say, isn’t it? You don’t get to your deathbed wishing you spent more time in the office. Was there someone special in your life?’ I probed again. ‘Someone you wished you’d spent more time with.’
‘No, sadly not.’ Now it was Jimmy’s turn to look pensive. ‘I wish there had been. It was all up here,’ he tapped the side of his head. ‘My master plan for the future. I had it all mapped out; a mad passionate love affair with the woman who was to be my wife, a couple of kids, an apartment in town, the big house in the country, a golden retriever, guinea pig, the full works. Only I got stuck at first base. I didn’t get to meet the woman of my dreams.’
‘That’s so sad.’ Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, but I blinked them away. It was such a terrible waste. Jimmy would have made a wonderful husband and a fantastic father too, I didn’t doubt. And now it was too late for him.
‘Actually,’ he said, putting his fork and spoon down, ‘there was something I wanted to ask you.’
‘Of course. Just ask away,’ I said lightly, trying to ignore the growing sense of trepidation in my tummy.
‘I wondered if you’d come with me on Friday?’
‘Friday?’
‘Yes, to the funeral. I need to be there, obviously, but I don’t think I can face it alone. It would mean a lot to me if you came along.’
I hoped Jimmy hadn’t noticed my sharp intake of breath. It hadn’t occurred to me that he’d go to the funeral, well not in a wafting around capacity at least, and surely I’d be conspicuous, not knowing anyone else in the congregation.
‘It’s OK,’ he said, doing that weird thing of seemingly reading my mind again, ‘you can say you were a good friend of mine. There are a lot of friends my family hadn’t got to meet. Please, Alice?’
‘Of course, I’ll come,’ I said, feeling honoured to be asked. ‘I’ll book the day off work tomorrow. It should be fine.’
‘Thanks.’ Jimmy smiled, looking relieved and reached across the table, his hand finding mine. My fingers sizzled, my whole body warming from the intimacy of his touch.
Something stirred deep inside me as my eyes locked with Jimmy’s. I was the only one he had now, the only person in this world who could help him and I wanted to ensure I did everything in my power to do exactly that.
Booking the day off work wasn’t difficult. I rarely took time off so Simon was more than happy to accommodate my request especially when I told him it was to attend a funeral.
‘I’m sorry to hear that, Alice. It wasn’t anybody close, was it?’ He’d looked up from his papers, a genuine concern etched across his brow.
‘Um, a cousin, twice removed, on my mother’s side. I hadn’t seen her in ages. But we were close. As children. Well, I was a child and she was a bit older and then we grew up of course.’ Shut up now , I told myself, but my mouth had gone into hyperactive mode. ‘And then she died. Just like that. Very unexpectedly. So sad.’
‘Oh dear, very sad,’ said Simon. ‘Well, if you need to take any extra time off, then you only have to ask.’
‘Oooh, thank you,’ I said, a little over-enthusiastically, as if he’d agreed to me going off on some jolly. ‘I just need Friday off. That’s all. I’ll be back on Monday.’ I took a deep breath in an attempt to lose the hysterical edge to my voice. I was absolutely hopeless at this lying lark. I always felt everyone could see straight through me as soon as any untruth left my lips and I have to admit Simon was observing me sceptically over the top of his glasses.
‘If you’re sure.’
Hopefully, he’d put my manic, out-of-character behaviour down to the distress of losing my much-loved, if distant, aunt. Or was it my cousin? I needed to be sure of that fact.
He got up from behind his desk and came over and
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