Desperation of Love by Alice Montalvo-Tribue

thinking more along the lines of going out somewhere, maybe dancing. I haven’t been dancing in such a long time.”
    “Ummm.”
    Clearly, he doesn’t want to go anywhere, but I think a night out together might be good for us. See how we do in social situations as a couple. “Please. We don’t have to stay long. If you don’t want to go to a club, we can go to a smaller lounge, have a drink and hear some music. It’ll be fun.”
    “Alright, princess,” he says, putting his hand on the nape of my neck in the way that I love.
    An awkward silence falls between us as we make it back to my house. I drop my beach bag by the door and turn to Alex. “I’m tired from the beach. I think I’m just going to go upstairs and take a nap.”
    “Alright. I’m going to the gym for a bit. Do you have a spare key I can use? I don’t want to wake you when I come back.”
    “Sure.” I turn and walk over to the key rack, which hangs by the front door. I grab a set of spare keys and hand them over to him.
    “Thanks.” He lifts my chin up with his thumb and forefinger and places a kiss on my lips. “I’ll be back soon.”
    I smile at him, taking him in for a second before I head upstairs to take a shower. The hot water feels good on my skin, washing away the residue from the sand and ocean. I’m not sure what it is about Alex that feels different to me. He’s not like anyone I’ve ever dated. He’s nothing like Mark. Not that Mark was a bad guy, he wasn’t, but he just didn’t get me. To Mark, I was just a pretty girl that was playing hard to get. It was a game to him, and he thought he’d be able to win me in the end, that I would agree to move in together and forge a commitment. He thought that my issues were just stupid excuses to keep him at a distance, but Alex … Alex gets me in a way that no one really ever has before. He understands, for the most part, why I’m not fired up to get involved with someone only to have it blow up in a ball of flames. I get that I’m not the only person to come from a broken home, but everyone handles things differently, and this is just my way. I hate how people try to judge me for it. Alex doesn’t judge. He listens and tries to understand. I’ve known him for over a year and he didn’t try to pursue a romantic relationship before now. That’s never happened before.
     

     
    The sound of my feet hitting the treadmill belt as I run helps to calm me down. I came to the gym because I needed to get away for a while. Being around Jordan is fucking with my head. On one hand, things are great because I’m so attracted to her, and I’ve grown to care about her over the last year as our friendship has developed. On the other hand, it’s bad because, intuitively, I know that she can be very dangerous for me. She brings up all these protective instincts that I have, the need to take care of her because it’s what I’m used to doing. When she flipped the tables on me earlier and went up against Victor, I was floored. That did something to me on a very primitive level. I wanted to find an empty room and take her right then and there. It took every ounce of control I have to not let everyone in that room know exactly how I feel about this girl. I’ve never had anyone jump to my defense before. She thought that I was being taken advantage of and she didn’t hesitate to speak up. I know most men wouldn’t want their woman defending them in any situation, but fuck me if I didn’t like it. It felt good to have someone take my back. The only other person who’s ever done that is Victor, which is why I’m so fiercely loyal to him.
    I’m not sure exactly when this shift in me happened, when these feelings for Jordan became so intense. They started off friendly in nature. I mean, of course I was attracted to her, she’s beautiful, I’d be blind not to notice her, but I was able to just fool around with her in the past and keep our friendship intact. I think the turning point was the