Destiny's Path by Anna Jacobs Page B

prevent it. All I can prevent is the pain – well, most of it.’
    When Ronan didn’t speak, Kathleen moved forward from the far corner. ‘Then do it, doctor. We can’t let her suffer like this. My mother took laudanum when she was dying.’
    Even with the drug, Fenella was clearly still in pain, but at least she wasn’t screaming now.
    Kathleen stayed with her, but it was the maid Orla who cared for his mother and kept her clean. All he could do, for decency’s sake, because he knew his mother would hate him to see her naked body, was to turn away when she needed cleaning. The rest of the time he stayed, helpless to do anything but be with her.
    Food was brought for them and his went away largely untasted, though Kathleen continued to eat with her usual hearty appetite.
    It took Fenella two days to die, by which time Ronan was praying for her to be released from this travail and the doctor was grimly sober. Kathleen’s face was mostly expressionless except when she was scowling.
    When his mother eventually breathed her last, Ronan bowed his head and wept, not caring who saw him.
    In the end they had to bring Bram to force him to leave the cabin while Orla laid out the body and a sailor sewed it into a canvas shroud.
    Ronan came back only to kiss his mother’s cheek before they finished their sad task.
    He looked across her body at Orla. ‘I’m grateful to you for your help.’
    ‘She was a kind lady.’
    ‘If I can ever help you in any way . . . ?’
    ‘Thank you, sir. Who knows what we’ll need in Australia?’
    Kathleen stood cold and tearless on the deck as the passengers all gathered to see Ronan’s mother’s body consigned to the deep the following morning. He was relieved that his mother was blessed by a clergyman, at least, a man travelling to the Swan River Colony. He couldn’t help shedding a few tears as the solemn words were spoken and the canvas bag containing his mother’s body was tipped into the water. He felt as guilty as if he’d killed his mother himself. She’d not have been on this ship but for him.
    That evening he tried to get drunk and couldn’t do it. He’d never been a drinker and alcohol made him sick well before it could blunt his senses.
    The following day, his mother’s possessions were delivered to his cabin by the steward.
    He stared at them in horror. ‘Why did you bring these?’
    ‘On Mrs Largan’s instructions, sir.’
    Kathleen had to be the most insensitive woman in the world. He shook his head, not wanting to touch them, and almost told the man to toss them over the side of the ship. But then he realised they contained valuable items like her jewellery. ‘Put them over there, then. I’ll go through them later, then you can toss what I don’t want over the side of the ship.’
    The steward did as he’d asked and left. A few minutes later Bram came into the room without knocking.
    Ronan scowled. ‘What are you doing here?’
    ‘That poor ould steward doesn’t know what to do with you,’ Bram said.
    ‘My instructions to him were quite plain.’
    ‘Only a rich man would even think of tossing all that stuff over the side of the ship.’
    ‘I’m not rich.’
    ‘You seem rich to people like me.’
    Ronan shrugged. ‘That’s easy then. Once I’ve gone through them, you can have my mother’s things, to keep or to throw away, whatever you choose.’
    His childhood friend didn’t move, just stared thoughtfully at him. ‘Are you sure about that, Mr Ronan?’
    His calm patience made Ronan feel ashamed and he looked down at the trunks then back at Bram pleadingly. ‘Will you help me go through her things?’
    ‘Of course I will.’
    It felt like a violation to go through the trunks and bags, fumbling through underwear and corsets, stockings and gloves, fans and shawls.
    Ronan found her jewel case and set it aside. There were a few other bits and pieces that he thought he should keep, including her Bible. It seemed to take them a long time.
    Once the