it to me," said Natalie. "You're not used to taking care of them."
I ambled across the grass, mulling things over. "Something is definitely going on at this school."
"As the wise man said, 'No duh.'"
"And I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts it's going on when nobody is looking," I said."In the dark. After hours."
Natalie eyed me. "Okay..."
"So
that's
when we need to be here."
She stopped. "You mean tonight?"
I nodded. "Tonight."
"But tonight is Parents Night. We need to be here anyway."
"There you go," I said. "Am I not brilliant, or am I not brilliant?"
"Chet," said Natalie.
"Yeah?" I said.
"You're not brilliant."
14. Charge of the Night Brigade
That evening, the school was lit up like Grandma Gecko's birthday cake. Doors dripped with colorful student artwork. Kids roamed about. Parents said embarrassing things and practiced strange contortions to sit in their kids' chairs.
Normally I would've found this scene a barrel of yuks. Normally my school wasn't falling apart, thanks to some nutcase on a rampage.
I gave my parents the slip as they went in to hobnob with my sister Pinky's teacher.
"We'll meet you at Mr. Ratnose's class in twenty minutes," called Ma Gecko.
My father just rolled his eyes. He knew how my parent-teacher visits usually turned out.
"And don't forget!" said Pinky.
I gave her the traditional brotherly salute: one tongue, sticking straight out.
Only twenty minutes. And I had to make each one count.
Natalie was waiting near her classroom. "The clock is ticking," she said. "So, where to, Mr. PI?"
I bit my lip, deciding. "The cafeteria."
She smirked. "Big surprise there."
"Not for food," I said, hotfooting it down the halls. "To answer a question that's been bugging me."
"You mean,'Why is Natalie so much smarter than me?
"No, birdbrain. 'How did the thieves get in to steal the food?'"
We rounded the corner and approached the cafeteria. I tried the kitchen door. Locked. We made a full circuit of the building. No secret passages revealed themselves. No broken windows gaped.
"Okay, I give up," said Natalie. "How
did
they get in?"
I straightened my hat. "Let's go inside and find out."
We slipped into the auditorium, where Mrs. Bagoong had laid out cookies and other treats for the horde of visiting parents. One or two blister-beetle brownies found their way into my pockets as we passed. (Okay, three or four.)
Nobody paid any mind as we made our way back into the dim kitchen. Methodically, I paced through the room, tapping on walls and feeling for hidden catches.
"Remind me again," said Natalie, "why we're here, when the culprit could be anywhere at school, stirring up trouble?"
I lifted a shoulder. "Just a hunch," I said. "Maybe they'll return."
"For more food?" Natalie said.
"Mmm." I reached into my pocket, pulled out a brownie, and bit off a chunk. The pantry door was slightly ajar, so I nudged it open.
"Just because
you're
a bottomless pit doesn't mean the thief is," said Natalie.
I took a step into the darkened pantry. "Hey, I'm just a growing gecko withâ"
But I never did finish that sentence. Instead, I stepped into thin air and fell, whacking my head on the edge of the hole and vanishing into the earth.
Whump!
I belly flopped hard, knocking the wind out of me.
"Chet?" Natalie's voice came from above. "What are youâ"
I tried to warn her, but could only whisper.
Thump!
Natalie landed smack on my back, smashing me flatter than Darth Vader's fan-mail file.
"Oof," I wheezed.
She bounced to her feet. "You could've at least given me a heads-up."
With Natalie's help, I sat and looked around.
We found ourselves in a low-ceilinged tunnel, lit with strings of Christmas lights. Sort of a festive secret passage. It smelled overpoweringly of fresh earth, like the assembly line at a mud pie factory.
"Wow." I patted the ladder that led up into the pantry. "No wonder he could rob the cafeteria so easily."
Natalie whistled. "Pretty slick for an underground highway."
I got
I ambled across the grass, mulling things over. "Something is definitely going on at this school."
"As the wise man said, 'No duh.'"
"And I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts it's going on when nobody is looking," I said."In the dark. After hours."
Natalie eyed me. "Okay..."
"So
that's
when we need to be here."
She stopped. "You mean tonight?"
I nodded. "Tonight."
"But tonight is Parents Night. We need to be here anyway."
"There you go," I said. "Am I not brilliant, or am I not brilliant?"
"Chet," said Natalie.
"Yeah?" I said.
"You're not brilliant."
14. Charge of the Night Brigade
That evening, the school was lit up like Grandma Gecko's birthday cake. Doors dripped with colorful student artwork. Kids roamed about. Parents said embarrassing things and practiced strange contortions to sit in their kids' chairs.
Normally I would've found this scene a barrel of yuks. Normally my school wasn't falling apart, thanks to some nutcase on a rampage.
I gave my parents the slip as they went in to hobnob with my sister Pinky's teacher.
"We'll meet you at Mr. Ratnose's class in twenty minutes," called Ma Gecko.
My father just rolled his eyes. He knew how my parent-teacher visits usually turned out.
"And don't forget!" said Pinky.
I gave her the traditional brotherly salute: one tongue, sticking straight out.
Only twenty minutes. And I had to make each one count.
Natalie was waiting near her classroom. "The clock is ticking," she said. "So, where to, Mr. PI?"
I bit my lip, deciding. "The cafeteria."
She smirked. "Big surprise there."
"Not for food," I said, hotfooting it down the halls. "To answer a question that's been bugging me."
"You mean,'Why is Natalie so much smarter than me?
"No, birdbrain. 'How did the thieves get in to steal the food?'"
We rounded the corner and approached the cafeteria. I tried the kitchen door. Locked. We made a full circuit of the building. No secret passages revealed themselves. No broken windows gaped.
"Okay, I give up," said Natalie. "How
did
they get in?"
I straightened my hat. "Let's go inside and find out."
We slipped into the auditorium, where Mrs. Bagoong had laid out cookies and other treats for the horde of visiting parents. One or two blister-beetle brownies found their way into my pockets as we passed. (Okay, three or four.)
Nobody paid any mind as we made our way back into the dim kitchen. Methodically, I paced through the room, tapping on walls and feeling for hidden catches.
"Remind me again," said Natalie, "why we're here, when the culprit could be anywhere at school, stirring up trouble?"
I lifted a shoulder. "Just a hunch," I said. "Maybe they'll return."
"For more food?" Natalie said.
"Mmm." I reached into my pocket, pulled out a brownie, and bit off a chunk. The pantry door was slightly ajar, so I nudged it open.
"Just because
you're
a bottomless pit doesn't mean the thief is," said Natalie.
I took a step into the darkened pantry. "Hey, I'm just a growing gecko withâ"
But I never did finish that sentence. Instead, I stepped into thin air and fell, whacking my head on the edge of the hole and vanishing into the earth.
Whump!
I belly flopped hard, knocking the wind out of me.
"Chet?" Natalie's voice came from above. "What are youâ"
I tried to warn her, but could only whisper.
Thump!
Natalie landed smack on my back, smashing me flatter than Darth Vader's fan-mail file.
"Oof," I wheezed.
She bounced to her feet. "You could've at least given me a heads-up."
With Natalie's help, I sat and looked around.
We found ourselves in a low-ceilinged tunnel, lit with strings of Christmas lights. Sort of a festive secret passage. It smelled overpoweringly of fresh earth, like the assembly line at a mud pie factory.
"Wow." I patted the ladder that led up into the pantry. "No wonder he could rob the cafeteria so easily."
Natalie whistled. "Pretty slick for an underground highway."
I got
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