my friend?”
“Yeah. I do.”
I shifted myself in the seat. I had to look away from him. I’ve never had an actual friend to hang out with before. Especially a guy. This would be a whole new experience for me. What Dax was offering was nice. Right?
It did sting though that as soon as he found me out I was still carrying my v-card, it was like ‘Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.’ Yada-blah-whatever. As if being a virgin is a turn-off. Like it was a freaking disease. I kinda wanted to say forget it. I didn’t want a friend out of pity.
“Like we’re actually gonna hang out and crap?”
He gave me a side eye glare of disgust and a frown.
“What?”
“Hang out and crap ? I don’t hang out and crap .” He put his hands up in the air and used quotation marks when he said crap.
“Whatever, Dax. You know what I meant.”
“Why can’t you just accept it? Is there a problem with being my friend? I mean, your body and eyes sure say something different altogether, but if that’s the way you want it to be. Then I’ll have to learn to live with it. For now.”
“No, there is no problem! I just never really had friends. No one’s ever met my Nana before. I keep to myself. I work. I go to school. There never seemed any time to just have friends. And for your information, my eyes and body don’t speak for me.”
Yes, I did look at him as if I wanted more than just friendship, but I needed more time. This felt like it was going light-year fast. I could be his friend right now though. Slow and easy.
In high school, I didn’t get close to anyone. Maybe fear of abandonment. Which in itself was just ridiculous. The only person who abandoned me was my mother, and if I remembered correctly, I didn’t cry when she left. Just a vast amount of relief. Even at age four.
“Nana? Where are your parents? They dead?”
Whoa. Did not expect him to be as blunt as that. Dax pushed his empty plate back, and propped his feet back on the cushion across from us.
Sigh.
“Worse. They are probably alive.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I never spoke about my mother to anyone. Who knows who my father is? Marybeth never told me his name and I never asked when I was a kid.
“You really want to know?”
I had to ask. Just in case there was a way to avoid the subject-I would. I didn’t like talking about her. The only good thing she ever did was leave me in Nana’s care.
“Yes. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know, Scarlet. Is this a bad subject for you? Did they do something to you?”
His voice turned into steel with the last few words. His jaw tightened and his hands clenched tight.
“What could you do? Find them and punish them? Ha.”
His face snapped to mine with all seriousness and he was about to open his mouth when I continued. “No, they didn’t. I don’t know who my dad is. Marybeth never told me who he was and she dropped me off at Nana’s doorstep when I was four and the next morning she was gone. No bye. No love you. Ha. Like she ever said those words to me anyway.” I shrugged my shoulders, laughing without mirth and said, “Not even a letter. Just gone. Best thing to ever happen to me.”
He stared attentively at me; his focus was absolute. He was really listening to what I was saying. Like learning about me was his sole mission in life. Was he waiting for me to say more? “Don’t worry. I’m not going to cry. I didn’t cry then and I have no reason to cry now. It’s just-life. It is what it is. I was four and she dumped me on someone who didn’t even know I existed. Nana-you know-she’s great. She took me in. Gave me a home. This orphan girl that no one loved.”
Crap. I did not mean to say that much. And what-what the hell was falling down my face? Before I got a hand to wipe away the errant tear, Dax’s hand cupped my face and his thumb slowly swiped it away. Like a desperate and needy chick, I took that comforting gesture and curved my cheek into his hand.
It just felt
“Yeah. I do.”
I shifted myself in the seat. I had to look away from him. I’ve never had an actual friend to hang out with before. Especially a guy. This would be a whole new experience for me. What Dax was offering was nice. Right?
It did sting though that as soon as he found me out I was still carrying my v-card, it was like ‘Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.’ Yada-blah-whatever. As if being a virgin is a turn-off. Like it was a freaking disease. I kinda wanted to say forget it. I didn’t want a friend out of pity.
“Like we’re actually gonna hang out and crap?”
He gave me a side eye glare of disgust and a frown.
“What?”
“Hang out and crap ? I don’t hang out and crap .” He put his hands up in the air and used quotation marks when he said crap.
“Whatever, Dax. You know what I meant.”
“Why can’t you just accept it? Is there a problem with being my friend? I mean, your body and eyes sure say something different altogether, but if that’s the way you want it to be. Then I’ll have to learn to live with it. For now.”
“No, there is no problem! I just never really had friends. No one’s ever met my Nana before. I keep to myself. I work. I go to school. There never seemed any time to just have friends. And for your information, my eyes and body don’t speak for me.”
Yes, I did look at him as if I wanted more than just friendship, but I needed more time. This felt like it was going light-year fast. I could be his friend right now though. Slow and easy.
In high school, I didn’t get close to anyone. Maybe fear of abandonment. Which in itself was just ridiculous. The only person who abandoned me was my mother, and if I remembered correctly, I didn’t cry when she left. Just a vast amount of relief. Even at age four.
“Nana? Where are your parents? They dead?”
Whoa. Did not expect him to be as blunt as that. Dax pushed his empty plate back, and propped his feet back on the cushion across from us.
Sigh.
“Worse. They are probably alive.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I never spoke about my mother to anyone. Who knows who my father is? Marybeth never told me his name and I never asked when I was a kid.
“You really want to know?”
I had to ask. Just in case there was a way to avoid the subject-I would. I didn’t like talking about her. The only good thing she ever did was leave me in Nana’s care.
“Yes. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know, Scarlet. Is this a bad subject for you? Did they do something to you?”
His voice turned into steel with the last few words. His jaw tightened and his hands clenched tight.
“What could you do? Find them and punish them? Ha.”
His face snapped to mine with all seriousness and he was about to open his mouth when I continued. “No, they didn’t. I don’t know who my dad is. Marybeth never told me who he was and she dropped me off at Nana’s doorstep when I was four and the next morning she was gone. No bye. No love you. Ha. Like she ever said those words to me anyway.” I shrugged my shoulders, laughing without mirth and said, “Not even a letter. Just gone. Best thing to ever happen to me.”
He stared attentively at me; his focus was absolute. He was really listening to what I was saying. Like learning about me was his sole mission in life. Was he waiting for me to say more? “Don’t worry. I’m not going to cry. I didn’t cry then and I have no reason to cry now. It’s just-life. It is what it is. I was four and she dumped me on someone who didn’t even know I existed. Nana-you know-she’s great. She took me in. Gave me a home. This orphan girl that no one loved.”
Crap. I did not mean to say that much. And what-what the hell was falling down my face? Before I got a hand to wipe away the errant tear, Dax’s hand cupped my face and his thumb slowly swiped it away. Like a desperate and needy chick, I took that comforting gesture and curved my cheek into his hand.
It just felt
Similar Books
