Diary

Diary by Chuck Palahniuk

Book: Diary by Chuck Palahniuk Read Free Book Online
Authors: Chuck Palahniuk
Tags: Fiction
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against the black writing on the wall and makes her trace each word.
    His hand tight around hers, guiding her finger. The dark creep of sweat around the collar and under the arms of his white T-shirt. The wine on his breath, collecting against the side of Misty's neck. The way Angel's eyes stay on her while she keeps her eyes on the black painted words. This is how the whole room feels.
    Angel holds her finger against the wall, moving her touch along the painted words there, and he says, “Can you feel how your husband felt?”
    According to graphology, if you take your index finger and trace someone's handwriting, maybe you take a wooden spoon or chopstick and you just write on top of the written words, you can feel exactly how the writer felt at the time he wrote. You have to study the pressure and speed of the writing, pressing as hard as the writer pressed. Writing as fast as it seems the writer did. Angel says this is all similar to Method acting. What he calls Konstantin Stanislavski's method of physical actions.
    Handwriting analysis and Method acting, Angel says they both got popular at the same time. Stanislavski studied the work of Pavlov and his drooling dog and the work of neurophysiologist I. M. Sechenov. Before that, Edgar Allan Poe studied graphology. Everybody was trying to link the physical and the emotional. The body and the mind. The world and the imagination. This world and the next.
    Moving Misty's finger along the wall, he has her trace the words: “. . . the flood of you, with your bottomless hunger and noisy demands . . .”
    Whispering, Angel says, “If emotion can create a physical action, then duplicating the physical action can re-create the emotion.”
    Stanislavski, Sechenov, Poe, everybody was looking for some scientific method to produce miracles on demand, he says. An endless way to repeat the accidental. An assembly line to plan and manufacture the spontaneous.
    The mystical meets the Industrial Revolution.
    The way the rag smells after you polish your boots, that's how the whole room smells. The way the inside of a heavy belt smells. A catcher's mitt. A dog's collar. The faint vinegar smell of your sweaty watchband.
    The sound of Angel's breath, the side of her face damp from his whispering. His hand stiff and hard as a trap around her, squeezing her hand. His fingernails dig into Misty's skin. And Angel says, “Feel. Feel and tell me what your husband felt.” The words: “. . . your blood is our gold . . .”
    The way reading something can be a slap in your face.
    Outside the hole, the homeowner says something. She knocks on the wall and says, louder, “Whatever it is you have to do, you'd better be doing it.”
    Angel whispers, “Say it.”
    The words say: “. . . you, a plague, trailing your failures and garbage . . .”
    Forcing your wife's fingers along each letter, Angel whispers, “Say it.”
    And Misty says, “No.” She says, “It's just crazy talk.”
    Steering her fingers wrapped tight inside his, Angel shoulders her along, saying, “It's just words. You can say it.”
    And Misty says, “They're evil. They don't make sense.”
    The words: “. . . to slaughter all of you as an offering, every fourth generation . . .”
    Angel's skin warm and tight around her fingers, he whispers, “Then why did you come see them?”
    The words: “. . . my wife's fat legs are crawling with varicose veins . . .”
    Your wife's fat legs.
    Angel whispers, “Why bother coming?”
    Because her dear sweet stupid husband, he didn't leave a suicide note.
    Because this is part of him she never knew.
    Because she wants to understand who he was. She wants to find out what happened.
    Misty tells Angel, “I don't know.”
    Old-school building contractors, she tells him, they'd never start a new house on a Monday. Only on a Saturday. After the foundation is laid, they'll toss in a handful of rye seed. After three days, if the seed doesn't sprout, they'll build the house. They'll bury an old

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