Diary of a Crush: Kiss and Make Up by Sarra Manning Page B

want me.’
    ‘Yeah, like a freakin’ hole in the head.’
    Something had changed. Dylan was the hunted and I was like the hunter. I reached up and kissed him. He tried to hold back but for one delicious moment he gave in, really gave in and kissed me back so passionately that I knew that whatever he had with Veronique, didn’t come close to what he had with me. Then he was pushing me away.
    ‘I can’t do this to her,’ he mumbled and walked out.
    There was the sound of a slow handclap from the doorway. I whirled round to see Carter standing there.
    ‘What do you do for an encore?’ he wanted to know.
    ‘How long were you standing there?’ I demanded.
    ‘Long enough.’ He slowly looked me up and down. ‘I haven’t known you for very long, but are you always such a bitch?’
    ‘What’s it to you?’ It was like some evil demon had taken me over. I was drunk on my own Dylan-seducing power.
    ‘Veronique’s my sister,’ Carter said very calmly. ‘If you mess with her, you mess with me.’
    I pushed past him. ‘Ooooh! I’m really scared – not!’ was my parting shot.
    He caught up with me in the lounge as the countdown to midnight started. ‘You really are a little cow,’ he said tauntingly. ‘What did Dylan ever see in you?’
    I’m hazy about what happened next. I think I called him a stickboy loser and then we were kissing but it was total war. Eventually we came up for air. I scraped a hand across my tingling mouth and looked at him.
    ‘Well, it’s one way to shut you up,’ Carter said a little unsteadily.
    There was a collective gasp and I looked round to see everyone, including Dylan, looking at me and Carter in shocked silence.
     
4th January
    Everything has changed! I’m so on to Dylan now. If I push him just far enough in the right direction, I can have him back. Then once I’ve got him, I can turn around and mess with his head, just like he’s messed with mine.
    But I’m not that kind of girl. I wish I was. I wish I could be all calculating and cruel and focussed on my plans for revenge but … but… I was doing so well at the getting over him. And I know that pursuing him and making him dump Veronique for me would only store up some really bad relationship karma for myself.
    So, tempting as the idea is of totally playing him, I’m going to pass. And just carry on keeping him out of my life.
    Oh who the hell am I kidding?
     
17th January
    I am a bad, bad person. I’m, like, irredeemably bad. But I know, I just
know
that he still loves me and he still wants me and he still wants to be with me. I’m absolutely sure of it. Even though after the New Year argument and kissage, Dylan has tried to make it abundantly clear (by which I mean avoiding the café and
crossing to the other side of the road if he sees me coming
!
) that he doesn’t want me around. But I don’t believe him, which is why I seem to get this sadistic kick out of cornering him so he can’t escape, and then flirting shamelessly with him The weirdest thing is that this evil behaviour is not my style. And while I’m watching Dylan, Carter is watching me and trying to keep me away from his sister’s boyfriend.
    Tonight, I ended up wedged next to Dylan on Shona’s sofa as we watched
The Virgin Suicides
for, like, the sixtieth time. Veronique was rehearsing one of her crappy Performance Art pieces someplace else and the lights were dim as I ran my finger lightly down Dylan’s arm. It’s not what I really wanted to do. The urge to wrap myself around him and feel his ribs against my side and his heart beating was so strong, it made my skin twitch. I know it’s wrong to make passes at other girls’ boyfriends, I do. But he was mine long before he was hers. And I could feel the way his arm itched to curl round me. I grabbed his hand and stroked his palm longingly.
    ‘Cut that out,’ Dylan hissed at me, pulling his hand away.
    I shifted restlessly from my cramped position on the end of the settee.
    ‘And stop