ThreeReasonsWhy by Mari Carr

sent you.”
    Kate pretended to be hurt. “What? Can’t a sister come for a
visit without an ulterior motive?”
    Jill glanced at the clock. “It’s seven o’clock in the
morning, Kate. Bit early for a social call, wouldn’t you say?”
    “I don’t get it.”
    Jill didn’t pretend to misunderstand. She and Kate weren’t
just sisters, they were friends. After a lifetime together, they could move
between conversations and never miss a beat. “There’s a lot of that going
around. I don’t know why you and Wes can’t accept that I’m not interested in a
relationship. Not with him. Not with anybody.”
    Jill turned to pick up the coffeepot and filled her sister’s
mug. There were only a few diners around, none within earshot. Kate had chosen
her seat and her time wisely. The diner wouldn’t fill up for another hour.
    “Sell that bullshit to someone else, Jill. You and Wes are
perfect for each other. And you are most definitely interested. More than
interested. I’d say you were downright hot for the man.”
    Jill leaned her arms on the counter, moving closer to her
sister. “Please just trust me when I say I know what Wes wants in a woman, and
I can’t give it to him.”
    Kate frowned. “What’s your hang-up about commitment? You
know, you never used to be like this. You had steady boyfriends in high school
and after graduation. What changed?”
    Jill sucked in a deep breath. She’d practiced saying the
words last night, knowing things with Wes would never be resolved until she
confessed her secret. Having a conversation like this in the diner probably
wasn’t wise. It was bound to become too emotional. Then Jill decided it was the
perfect place. Things wouldn’t get too heavy. If they did, there was a good
chance she’d be interrupted and could escape for a few minutes to get her shit
back together. Plus, Kate wouldn’t try to console her in public. Jill knew that
was the one thing that couldn’t happen. If Kate tried to hug her, she’d fall
apart and she refused to do that.
    “You know I’ve always had bad periods.”
    Kate nodded.
    “I was diagnosed with endometriosis a few years ago. It’s
bad. Really bad.”
    “How bad is really bad?”
    “I can’t have children.”
    Jill had to hand it to her sister. Kate managed to maintain
a stone face, though her eyes spoke volumes. No one in the diner would think
they were talking about anything more serious than the weather.
    “Why didn’t you tell me?”
    Jill struggled to answer. Her mother had always accused her
of having more pride than sense. Obviously that was true. She’d just felt so
inadequate. So broken. It had taken her weeks to accept the diagnosis, and
saying the words to another person had gotten harder with each passing day
until she’d given up trying. “I don’t know why. I couldn’t.”
    Kate nodded, took her answer at face value. Jill was
grateful for that easy acceptance. She knew the rest of the conversation was
going to be hard enough without Kate expecting her to dive too deeply into her
fucked-up psyche.
    “You haven’t told Wes about this?”
    Jill shook her head.
    Kate leaned back. “Don’t you think you should?”
    “Why? Wes just wants to go out on a few dates. It’s not like
he’s asking me to marry him.”
    Kate scowled. “Don’t play stupid, Jill. It doesn’t suit you.
You know as well as I do Wes is looking at a long-term, possibly forever, kind
of commitment.”
    Jill sighed. “I know. Why do you think I’ve been trying to
discourage his advances?”
    “I have no idea why.”
    Kate’s response took her aback.
    “You heard Wes at Christmas, Kate. He wants a big brood of
kids. Hell, he deserves them. God knows he’ll be a better father than our dear
old dad. How could I ask him to give up that dream?”
    “There’s more than one way to make a family, Jill. Jesus.
Adopt.”
    Jill shook her head. She’d thought of that. She wanted children
desperately and it wouldn’t bother her one bit if they